


When Stars Align || Lafayette x Reader

by MeredithMaybe



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/M, Horses, Original Character Death(s), Poorly translated French, Posted Elsewhere, grandma memes, kinda just sets the scene, uhh pretty dull chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-13
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2018-12-27 16:17:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 52,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12084684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeredithMaybe/pseuds/MeredithMaybe
Summary: A woman in the revolution? They all told her that she couldn't do it, but it's not like she's ever cared what they thought. The amazing military battle strategist Gaspard Legrand's daughter had recently turned twenty-one. She heard whispers of the revolution happening in the north, but hadn't thought much of it. She was happy on her family's small farm in Virginia where she lived with her father, brother, and grandmother. Until tragedy struck. Everything that she had always been sure of, she no longer knew. Except one thing. She would be the one to free her country.





	1. Flying by Night

Wind whistled past my ears as I spurred my horse through the golden fields of wheat, my frail attempt to keep up with my brother Nael. Adrenaline coursed through my veins; the last fence was in sight, and I was nearing the finish, but I silently cursed as I saw Nael already turning back to face me, a smug grin on his face.

"You are too slow, soeur cadet." He grinned and I rolled my eyes at his ego.

"Not all of us are amazing as you, frere aîne." I shot him a playful glare as I finally jumped the last fence, joining him in the clearing beyond our farm.

"Right, for ze first time," he teased, coaxing a chuckle from me. We began to circle each other on horseback as a mischievous smirk played at my lips.

"'Ow about a rematch? And zis time you do  _not_  start before we count down," I suggested.

"Do you want really to embarrass yourself even more? I vould have thought you 'ad 'ad enough."

"You wish I would give up. To ze hill at ze center of ze farm?" I cocked an eyebrow at him, and his face broke into a wide grin.

"You are on."

We took off once again, this time with me pulling slightly ahead as my horse galloped towards the small hill. And then, managing to escape Nael's line of vision, I dropped off of the path, stifling a laugh at my brother's triumphant smile. I waited just a moment before trotting off in the other direction towards my house.

"Où allez-vous?" Nael shouted, finally realizing that I was no longer with him.

"I am going to get to dinner first," I shouted back with a grin as I neared the small stable on the outside of my house, but before going in, I pulled my horse, Rachel, to face the horizon behind me. I absentmindedly began to run my hand down her silky coat, feeling her breathing in her chest.

She was a rather small horse, a white lipizzan splattered with gray all down her back. My father had gotten her for me from a local trader, and I hadn't thought twice before naming her Rachel after my mother. 

I had never known my mother, aside from the tales of my father's time with her in the Caribbean. Supposedly, she was a beautiful woman, and my father and she had met three years after his wife's passing, as his ship took a detour on a trading route to France. They'd met one day in the market, and were infatuated with each other within that day.

Of course, I was the unintended result of that infatuation. She had written my father six months after he left, telling him of her pregnancy and asking him to come back and take me when I was born. She told him of her struggles with the one child she already had, and that she couldn't possibly support another. And so he came, and so I left.

I sighed at the memories of the stories I'd heard so many times, bringing my wandering mind back to bask in my surroundings. It was an absolutely breathtaking sight to look down on the rolling fields that were bathed in the late sunlight, and to see the pink sky hanging above as the sun departed between the two.

I was so taken with the sight that it wasn't for a few minuted that I realized what it meant for me.

"Frere aîne! It is sunset! Père will be home any minute!" I yelled back to him as I quickly tied up my horse and walked back towards our house.

Our father had left on a long trip to France, his birthplace, six months ago. He was to return that night at sunset, and nothing could have dulled my excitement to see him again.

My face was covered with a grin that could have illuminated the entire room as I threw open our wooden back doors. It was almost instantly replaced with a look of concern and confusion as the first thing I saw was my grandmother sitting in her rocking chair with her head in her hands. Her entire body was shaking uncontrollably, moved by the loud sobs escaping her.

"Mémé! Is what wrong?" I rushed to her side and laid my arm around her shoulder in an effort to comfort her.

 _"_ Mon fils! Mon beau fils!" she cried.

"What has happened?" Nael asked as he came in behind me, his voice wavering with worry. I noticed the letter discarded at my grandmother's feet. I slowly reached down to see what had her so troubled.

_Dear Sir or Madam,_  
_We regret to inform you with deep sorrow that Monsieur Gaspard Legrand has passed away on the night of November 15th._

I read the letter aloud to Nael, and my eyes widened at that sentence. My heart began to pound through my chest and tears swam in my eyes, blurring my vision. I blinked them away and drew in a shaky breath before beginning to read again.

_His was one of the many lives claimed this summer by an epidemic of yellow fever._

I couldn't read on. I dropped the page and threw myself into my brother's arms as it fluttered to the floor. The warm tears began to flow from my eyes, and he and I were soon crying on each other's shoulders.

"We will be alright, soeur cadet, I promise," he said through tears. He was always the strong one in the face of tragedy.

 _"_ We will be alright," he repeated softly. I hoped more than anything that he would prove to be correct.

That night, I could not bring myself to fall asleep. Every time I shut my eyes, his voice filled my ears, always saying the same thing.

Do what I have taught you to do.

I tossed and turned in my bed, unable to shake the feeling that I could be doing more for him. And I could be. At a certain point, I was convinced.

I stood up, pushing my quilt off of myself, and crept to my desk. I composed two letters that night, first to General George Washington, informing him of my departure from home and telling him that I would be joining his ranks once I made my way north. Next, I wrote to Nael.

I explained to him how Père had spent every moment with me discussing battle strategies, how to surprise the enemy, how to fight. I wrote also of the time we had spent hunting, when I had learned to operate a musket. I asked him to take care of Mémé for me, and to take care of Rachel. I would be taking my father's horse with me to battle; it was faster, stronger and trained more expertly.

I pleaded for him to understand why I had to go. Père had spent all of his life strategizing for the army of the colonies, but his life came to an abrupt end before we could be freed. I needed to finish his work, and I wouldn't stop until we were living in an independent nation.

I signed my letters and sealed them, leaving my letter to Nael on my desk for him to find and taking my letter to General Washington with me to mail.

I next crept to my wardrobe, taking only the pants that my father had purchased for me at my request along with some ruffled shirts and packing them into my trunk. I slipped into one of the outfits, and glanced at myself in the mirror. I saw looking back at me not the young woman who would cry for her father, but a strong twenty-one year old who was to free her new land.

I knew it was impractical, but I also slid in my journal with two of the letters from my father that I had saved during his travels expertly tucked in the pages, along with two bottles of ink and a quill.

I picked up my trunk and crept down the stairs. I pulled my father's horse to the front of the house and slid a pack with my father's musket onto it. I would also put my trunk in, after taking some money and food for the long journey from Virginia to New York.

I slipped back into the house and filled the remainder of the space in my trunk with all the food that would last, which was mainly bread. I also went back up the stairs for the last time and took the money that my father had stored in his dresser. I didn't bother with the French money, but I took all the new American and British money he had stored.

As I prepared to leave, I glanced into Nael's room as I passed. I would miss him nearly as much as my father once I left, but I had to go. He was soundly asleep, and I was grateful for the fact. It meant that I wouldn't need to confront him as I left.

I went back down to our front doors and before opening them, I turned to look back at my beloved home. Next time I saw it, we would be living in a new nation.

I opened the front doors and shut them silently behind me before crossing out porch and walking down the steps. I smiled at the large brown stallion standing obediently in front of me. I placed my trunk into the pack on its back and hoisted myself into the saddle.

Straightening my back with confidence, I prodded the horse's sides with my feet, and he took off at a steady trot. I couldn't help grin as he carried me off into the unknown.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

I signed the letter home that I had just finished composing, and tucked my quill and ink back in between my clothing in my trunk. I clicked shut the gilded buckles and put the trunk back into the pack on my father's horse.

It had been two weeks since we received the letter informing us of his passing. Two weeks in which I had finally finished the journey to New York City.

I sat back onto the wooden bench that was still damp from last night's rain. I looked happily around the bustling city. There were likely as many people walking past my seat as I had met throughout my sheltered childhood on our farm.

I pulled out my journal and began to sketch the park that I was seated in the center of. I was in the shade of an enormous Weeping Willow tree, and light filtered softly through the branches, casting a soft glow on the morning dew.

I did my very best to capture it in a drawing, but I could never have captured the feeling of excitement that coursed through my veins, nor the beauty of the people's passion showing through their faces as they passed. I could tell simply from their expressions that many of them were there for the same reason as I: to join the revolution.

Their expressions were some that I recognized clearly from seeing them on my own face so many times throughout the past three months. Many of them were students, but not all. There were people ranging from under ten years of age up to those approaching their fifties.

One small trio of girls caught my eye. They were dressed in lavish gowns and had just exited their horse drawn carriage and were holding their dresses inches above the ground as they walked through the streets, taking in all the sights of the city.

The first of the girls' eyes sparked with the same excitement as mine, and she was walking quickly around and pulling the other two behind her.

The second looked generally excited to be in the city, where everything was happening, but she didn't appear to have a similar passion. She looked to be a bit younger than her the first, who I guessed was her sister, and about my age.

My eyes traveled to the third and final girl, and I nearly laughed. Her attitude likely could not have contrasted more with her sisters'. She looked to be maybe two or three years younger than me, and she wore a worried pout. She seemed uncomfortable with the idea of being downtown.

I shook my head at the trip and glanced back down to finish my sketch. I wrapped the leather cord attached to the cover around the book, binding it shut. I put the journal away with all of my other belongings and slid back into the saddle of my father's horse.

I led him back to the street and broke into a steady trot as I came closer to the training ground of General Washington's army.

It took me at least an hour of riding before I reached the expanse of land on the edge of the island, or maybe it only felt that way because of the anticipation that filled every bit of my mind. I could hardly think straight, and the last bit of waiting before joining the army was weighing down my mind more than ever in the past two weeks.

I stopped my horse in front of the first building down the path, assuming that it was where I would receive my barracks assignments. I opened the creaky door, which instantly gained the attention of the man sitting at the desk.

"How may I help you, miss?" he asked.

"I am 'ere to receive my barracks assignment," I said, trying not to grin with the excitement built up inside of me.

"You're here to receive your barracks assignment?" he repeated slowly, "Not to visit a husband or brother, maybe a father?"

"That is what I said," I said with a forced smile, slowly growing impatient.

"And you're going to fight in the war?" he asked.

"Yes, and if you do not give me my barracks assignment soon I will 'ave to take your papers and find it myself. And I do not think either of us would enjoy that much," I responded to his blatant sexism. He sighed.

"Name?" he asked.

"Y/N Legrand," I responded.

"You will be in barracks eight, it's the eighth down the road, and," he raised his eyebrows in surprise, his expression showing that he thought the next part must have been a mistake, "You're to see General Washington immediately."

After he finished speaking, I left immediately, not wanting to spend another moment listening to his sexist comments.

I rode down the road for a few more minutes until I reached my barracks. It was a long rectangle, I approximated that it was about the size for four, no, five beds with enough room to store supplies and walk between the beds.

I slid out of my saddle and opened the door to see that I was correct. Five beds. All but one had clothes strewn on then and around the floor near them along with a trunk and a few other odds and ends. One of the beds had whiskey along with several shot glasses. There were some shards of glass on the wood floor near it that I guessed were another glass that they had somehow shattered. I set my things down on the empty bed in the middle of the room and rode off to speak with the General.

He had a separate cabin near the camp entrance, so I rode back the way I came. I walked across his small porch and knocked on his door. No answer. He had asked for me to come, so I let myself into his unlocked cabin.

I walked into a small hallway with just two rooms. The first I passed was his bedroom, which was empty, but I head raised voices coming from the next room. I slowly walked up, not sure if I should interrupt.

"But sir, if we attack from the north we will gain the element of surprise," the first man said in a deep American accent. I was still not accustomed to hearing people with American accents, even after my time traveling.

"But we will lose valuable time traveling," said the man whose voice I recognized as that of General Washington.

I walked up to the open doorway and knocked on the door frame, gaining both of their attention. General Washington's face broke into a slight smile.

"Y/N Legrand. Thank you for coming," he stood up to shake my hand and the man with him raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

"Je vous remercie for inviting moi," I thanked him as well.

"As long as you're here, perhaps you can help us settle something," he said and I raised an eyebrow.

"The two of us," he gestured to the man who I did not yet know, "are debating on whether it would be smarter to send troops to attack the British forces from the north or the south. What do you think?"

I walked next to where he was standing and looked at the map he had spread out on the desk. I traced a few of the lines with my hands, deep in thought.

"Why not attack from ze west?" I asked, "Zey are on the east coast of the island, north of us. Zey would be expecting an attack from the south. But, if we attacked from the north, we would not only lose valuable time but likely pass through ze British camp, assuming that they are much stationed south of their camp. They would spot us and we would lose the element of surprise that we gained from coming north. But, attacking from the west would sustain the surprise in our attack without us 'aving to lose as much time as if we attacked from the north."

They both stared at me for a moment, slightly astonished that I had come up with a solution so easily. Then they both looked back at the map.

"It could work," the man across the desk from us said.

"It most certainly could," General Washington said with a small smile.

"Leave us," he told the man who I still did not know.

"Have a seat," he told me. I pulled out the chair across his desk and sat, popping my knuckles in discomfort.

"I have known your family for a long time, Y/N," he began, "There have always been many brilliant minds throughout it. I can already tell that yours will be another to add to that list."

"Thank you, monsieur," I replied, noticing how thick my accent seemed in comparison to his.

"Because of that, I would like to ask you to help with much of the battle strategy in our army when we go to war, though we would have to decide a specific position for you later. We haven't had anyone good for a while," he said and my eyes widened.

"Ce serait un honneur," I said, at first not realizing that I had reverted to French, and then translated, "It would be an honor."

"Thank you, you're free to go back to your barracks," he said, standing up with me and shaking my hand as I left.

I left and rode my father's horse to the stables near the center of camp and walked to my barracks. I opened the door, and somehow the room was still empty. The four men had likely gone drinking.

I sat cross-legged on my bed and pulled out my journal. I opened it to a page somewhere in the middle that contained my earlier sketch of New York City as well as a letter from my father.

I pulled out the old paper and ran my hand across the words he had written to me. I didn't bother to read it; I'd memorized it. I just needed to see his writing. To have something that he had touched. I ran my hand across the edge of the weathered page.

_I will make you proud, Père._


	2. Revolution

I tucked the old paper back in between the pages of my journal, wondering what Père would say if he could see me now. I like to think that he would be proud. After all, I am following in his footsteps.

Dwelling on my father's memory only made me feel worse, so I decided to take my mind off of it. I hid my journal in my trunk under my spare clothing and tucked it under my bed.

I slid my shoes back on and walked through the dark night towards the bright, cheery pub just up ahead. I walked in and immediately was hit by the noise. Men were all around me, drunk and yelling happily. The excited atmosphere lifted my spirits in the slightest as I took a seat at the bar.

"Hello there," a booming voice said as a man took a seat next to me. I winced, though I knew that I would attract attention. The only lady in the revolution.

"Now who might this be?" he placed his large hand on my shoulder.

"Y/N Legrand," I answered his question with a sigh, "and you are?"

"Hercules Mulligan at your service," he introduced himself.

"Can I buy you a drink?" he asked.

"You are trying to get me drunk, Mulligan?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"What would you say if I was?" he asked with a smirk.

"That you need to find a lady who cannot 'old 'er alcohol," I answered as he ordered me a whiskey. He smiled at my answer. The bartender poured us two whiskeys almost instantly.

"Herc! Come back over here!" a man who I assumed was one of his friends called from across the room.

"Join me?" he offered me his arm.

"I suppose," I agreed with an uncertain smile. We walked together to where his friends were.

"Ooh Mulligan, you got yourself a lady," one of his friends said. He had black hair slicked back to his neck. I mentally referred to him as Hair.

"No, he did not," I released his arm with a grimace.

"Then you're available?" another of the men wiggled his eyebrows at me. He had long brown curly hair tied into a ponytail and his face was dotted with freckles. He became Freckles in my mind.

"Is my availability the only thing you know to speak of?" I asked with a stone cold glare.

"And she has an accent too," Hair said to Freckles with a nod, "French, I'm guessing?"

I just nodded, unsure of whether to keep speaking with these men.

"Now what might a lady such as yourself be doing in the army?" Mulligan asked.

"What everyone does in an army. Fight," I responded flatly.

"You're gonna fight?" Freckles asked with a stifled laugh.

"Need I make myself clearer? I was 'oping you would not be quite so stupid as to not understand a statement," I said coldly.

"You don't exactly look the fighting type," Freckles laughed and his friend who had not yet spoken turned to him and gave him a look of disdain.

"Looks can be deceiving. For instance, you look a decent person, but upon closer inspection, you are an ass," I retorted.

"We got ourselves a feisty one," Mulligan said with a laugh. I had a feeling that he and Freckles were drunk.

"Actually, you do not 'ave one at all," I stood up. "Mulligan, thank you for the drink, but I don't think I'll be accepting another any time soon," I said callously before walking away.

I shook my head at the behavior of the men. But what was I expecting? I exited the bar full of rowdy men and walked down the dirt road back to my barracks. I hoped that whoever else was living in the small room with me would not be as intolerable.

I sat down on my bed, which my roommates had left for me, unfortunately, in the middle of the room. There would be two people on either side of me. I pulled out my journal for the third time that day, and tried to escape in my art. I drew everything from home, from the beautiful fields to the old oak tree that I loved to climb. I lost track of the time while I drew in every last detail, and fell asleep with my journal laid on my chest.

"Well what do we have here?" a familiar booming voice that I could not quite place roused me from my sleep. I didn't move as I regained consciousness and I heard several people enter the room.

"S'il vous plaît, she is asleep," another man with a thick French accent chided him.

"What is this?" another familiar voice asked, just above my head. I felt a finger brush my shoulder as the journal I had fallen asleep with was lifted off of me. I snapped upwards and caught his wrist.

"Put it down," I said with venom in my voice as I looked into the man's surprised face.

"You." I narrowed my eyes, full of hatred as I realized who it was. Freckles from the bar.

"So you're awake," he said with a smirk and realeased my book. I caught it moments before it hit the dusty wooden floor. I sat back up to see that it was not only him, but all four of the men who I had met.

"Please tell me that all of you are in ze wrong place," I asked slowly.

"Nope," Mulligan said as he sat down on his bed. I sighed in disgust and stood up to leave.

"Where ya going?" Freckles yelled after me as I walked out. I wasn't even sure. But I needed to get away from them.

I walked out of the small cabin, journal in hand, and just sat against the side wall. I huffed, releasing a cloud of warm breath that was visible in the brisk night air. Would this really be how I would spend my time in the revolution? Avoiding obnoxious men who think they have a chance with me was not high on my list of priorities. But now I lived with four of them.

I heard a creak as the door opened on its rusty hinges and I winced. I hoped desperately that he wouldn't see me here.

"What are you doing out 'ere, mon amour?" the Frenchman asked.

"I am not your love," I replied coldly to his casual use of the term.

"Mes excuses," he replied, making me roll my eyes, "but what is your name?"

"That is not your business."

"Would you like to come inside? It is freezing out 'ere," he offered me his hand to stand up and I laughed humorlessly.

"I do not plan on going back in there anytime soon," I decided and he sighed.

"I apologize for my friend's behaviors, they can seem a bit," he considered for a moment, "awful at first." I sighed as we heard a tinkle of shattered glass come from the room behind us.

"I promise that they are not like that usually," he said.

"You 'ave not experienced disrespect from men in the same way," I said flatly.

"Then one can only 'ope that they will improve," he gave me a pitying smile. I felt so small in his presence. He was so sure of himself, so confident. It was painfully intimidating, as I was just an insecure woman who was questioning whether she had any business fighting in a war.

"Do you mind if I sit with you?" he asked and I shook my head.

"I do not think I caught your name," I said.

He replied with a slight laugh, "my name is far too long, so just please call me Lafayette."

I nodded as I leaned back onto the cabin wall behind me, and my soft smile stretched into a grin staring up at the night sky. I loved looking at the stars, especially at this time of night. At home, I would often climb up to my roof just to stargaze for hours on end.

"You like the stars?" Lafayette asked, noticing my staring at the night sky.

"More than anything," I answered softly.

"Come with me." He jumped up with a grin offering me his hand, and all I could do was look at his with a bewildered expression.

"Why would I go anywhere with you?"

"Because I am wanting to show you something. You will not regret it." Excitement sparkled in his eyes, and I found myself beginning to smile as well. It was strange, how at ease he made me feel.

"Do you trust me?" he asked. It was the same question I had been asking myself, and I hadn't come to a conclusion on the answer. Still. I wanted to trust him, to follow him, and so, though hesitantly, I nodded.

"Suivez-moi." I took his hand and he pulled me up, before taking off at nearlu a run. I, of course, followed him, though unsure of whether I had made the right decision. We went a little ways until we reached a hill in a small clearing through a thin barrier of trees.

"Look up," he told me and I did.

"Waouh," I murmured. We were above the trees that would obscure my view and away from all buildings and people. It was the clearest view of the stars that I had ever seen.

"Why so you love the stars so much?" he asked.

"They remind me that the world is infinite," I said, "which meant to me before that there were endless people to meet and experiences to have.

"But now, it means to me that there are endless opportunities, and that I can seize every one," I finished softly.

"Sounds like you have big dreams, mon," he paused, "amie,"

I blushed, feeling foolish. I was glad that he couldn't see the shade of red that my skin had taken on through the dark night, and I laid down, wanting to just watch the stars for eternity, and he chuckled.

"Are you planning to sleep out 'ere, amour?" he chuckled, and I huffed.

"Do not call me that," I muttered.

"What should I call you?"

"Y/N Legrand is my name. Call me that."

"Of course, Y/N." He sighed. "But we should go back, you cannot sleep 'ere."

"Oui, I can. I do not want to see your awful friends," I muttered, rolling onto my side.

"The woods are dangerous at night."

"That is lies," I decided, sighing, "I can protect myself, anyway."

"You will get cold," he protested.

"I am too hot to get cold." I rolled over to face him with a lazy grin.

"Y/N," he groaned.

"Lafayette," I mocked him, "I am staying. You cannot stop me."

"At least let me stay with you," he sighed.

"Non, you need to go back to your connard friends."

"They are not connards," he defended.

"Oui, they are," I said, "You are a connard too."

He chuckled. "And why am I a connard?"

"I 'ave not decided yet. I am too tired to figure that out. But you must be friend of them for a reason," I murmured.

"You are ridiculous, amour." He sighed, shaking his head.

"Je ne suis pas votre amour," I said with a huff, rolling onto my back, away from him.

"You are right. But you still need to get up," he said, sitting down next to me.

"Non."

"If you do not leave, I am staying as well," he warned, starting to lay down.

"And I cannot stop you," I rolled onto my side away from him.

"You are really not going back to ze barracks?" he asked, his tone starting to sound defeated.

"Not tonight."

"Then I guess we are sleeping 'ere tonight," he said, and I huffed.

"You can leave," I suggested.

"Not without you," he argued.

"Fine," I said, rolling back over to face him, "but I 'ope you are eaten by a bear."

"Fair enough."

I laid my head back to watch the stars as I could feel my eyelids drooping, and as I began to drift off into a peaceful sleep, I felt his arm wrap around me.

"Leave me alone," I murmured, despite the fact that I had turned into his side, my face buried in his shoulder.

"You were cold," he chuckled.

"Oui, I was," I conceded. I couldn't hear it, but I could feel his light laugh in his chest, and I felt him pull me closer to him as I drifted off into sleep, comfortable in his warm embrace.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

My eyes fluttered open as the rising sun came shining up through the trees, flashing a blinding light onto me. I groaned softly, not wanting to leave the warmth around me.

A soft smile crept onto my face as I remembered the last night, but my eyes snapped open as I realized what it would look like if it was found that we were sleeping out in the woods away from camp together.

I groaned. How could I have been so stupid?

"Hey," I said softly and nudged Lafayette, his arm still draped across my shoulders. He grunted but didn't wake.

"Hey," I said more urgently this time and shook his arm. His eyes fluttered open and he and groaned, not wanting to get up.

"Se lever," I said, shaking his arm off of me as I sat up.

"What are you doing, amour?" he muttered sleepily, and I scowled.

"Never call me that," I warned, venom creeping into my voice.

"What 'ave I done? Why are you angry at me?" he asked, beginning to sit up as he scratched the back of hid neck.

I pulled myself to my feet with a huff. "I am not angry at you, I am angry at myself."

"Why?"

"Because I might 'ave just ruined my entire reputation! No one will take me seriously if they are thinking I slept with you my first night 'ere!" I yelled.

"But you did sleep w-" he started, before realizing what that phrase meant, "Oh."

He began to get up alongside me, but only tripped over his own feet. I yelped as he began to fall towards me, and tried to catch him, but his weight only ended up pushing me over. We both groaned as we hit the ground, him laying on top of me.

"Je suis désolé," he muttered, before doing his best to get off me without sitting on me. He got up and brushed himself off before helping me up.

"Alright, we need to go," I released his arms and broke into a full sprint towards camp. I knew exactly how it would look if we were found sprinting into camp together at dawn, our hair a mess and our clothes covered in dirt.

I lost Lafayette in my frantic sprint, and was alone as I ran up to the door of our barracks and opened it as quietly as I could manage. Bracing myself for the worst, I peered inside.

"Looks like somebody had a good night," Mulligan smirked and I paled. They were all awake.

"So where were you? In a field?" Freckles asked suggestively with his eyebrows raised.

"Do I truly seem the type to you? I thought I 'ad made an extremely different impression." I folded my arms and narrowed my eyes.

"Guys, Laf isn't even with her..." Hair trailed off when he caught sight of something behind me. Or someone. I turned around to see Lafayette jog in behind me.

"Man of the hour!" Mulligan yelled, "or of the night, eh?"

"Hercules, please, you cannot honestly think that of me," Lafayette responded calmly, reading his implications.

"What else is there to think?" Freckles yelled to us from his bed. I rolled my eyes at the men.

"Fine. Think what you will," I said indifferently with a shrug. I didn't have much of a reason to care about their implications, so I simply decided not to. I strided across the room, head held high, and sat onto my bed. Jeers and laughter were coming from all directions and my cheeks threatened to redden in anger.

I laid back against the wall and crossed my legs, grabbing my journal to tune out the men. I delicately removed one of my old letters from Père from between the pages of my book and unfolded the page containing the stories.

I hadn't realized that my jaw was clenched in anger until I felt it soften at the sight of the familiar words. I could hear nothing but the sound of his voice as I read, and I began to feel once again like the little girl who would sit at the foot of his chair and listen to his stories.

I smiled softly at the memories, my vision blurring from the wetness filling my eyes. I blinked back the tears, knowing that it was neither the right time nor place to reminisce. I ran my fingers over his signature, tracing the curl that he always added to the end.

"Whatcha reading?" I nearly jumped at the sudden sound beside me, but sighed when it was just Freckles crouched next to my bed.

"That." I began to fold the letter. "Is being none of your business."

"You're no fun," he pouted and I rolled my eyes. And suddenly the letter was no longer in my hand.

"Hey!" I exclaimed as I saw him begin to unfold the letter as he walked to his bed.

"Dear Y/N," he read in a mock French accent. I quickly rose from my bed with my fists balled and went after him. I reached for my letter, but he turned on his heel to bring it just out of my reach.

"France is absolutely gorgeous this time of year," he continued in his mocking accent. I tried again to grab it, but he simply raised his arm, and he was, unfortunately, significantly taller than me.

"Give me that," I ordered, seething. He tapped his lips and furrowed his brow, pretending to be deep in thought.

"I'd rather not," he decided after a moment. I scowled.

"I was not asking," I said simply before digging the heel of my boot into the top of his foot. He grimaced and jumped backwards, simultaneously releasing my letter and sending it fluttering to the ground.

"Thank you," I said through clenched teeth, before looking up at him with a sarcastic smile and turning to sit back down.

"Feisty. I like it."

My head slowly rose as I heard his words, my eyes narrowed in utter hatred. My gaze met his, and I couldn't help focusing on his obnoxious smirk. A barrage of curses both in English and French flew from my mouth as I stormed towards him.

"...and you are such un cul with your remarques dégoûtantes et je te hate you and just," I inhaled shakily, consumed with rage, "Fuck you!"

He shrugged as his smirk grew. "If you insist." He shot me a wink that prompted my shaky huff as I curled my lip in disgust, before he turned and left the small cabin, his friends on his heel. Though, as they left, I could've sworn I saw Lafayette glance back with an amused smile.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

For that day, we had no training so I spent my day cooped up in my barracks. It began to rain around noon, and I assumed that the men from my room had retired to the pub for the rest of the day.

Trying to pass time, I drew what I thought my mother would look like from the drawn out descriptions Père used to give me. The dark waves of hair that cascaded down her back, her dark brown eyes that held a fiery glint, and her thin pink lips that always held a smile.

I drew the final curve of her soft features and looked at the finished portrait. It looked exceptionally similar to each of my other attempts at drawing her. I sighed, longing to one day truly know my mother.

My eyes lingered on the drawing for a few moments more, but I snapped my journal shut when I heard footsteps hit the wooden stair in front of our door. Hair walked in and I sighed once more, not excited to have his company.

I opened my book again and leafed through a few of the pages, mainly to avoid conversation with the black haired man who now sat a bed away from me.

"Y/N?" I winced inwardly when he said my name. I looked up from my old drawing and raised an eyebrow, prompting him to continue.

"I'm really sorry about Laurens earlier. I know that he," he paused, appearing to be choosing his words very carefully, "like the rest of us, isn't great with first impressions."

"Laurens..." I furrowed my brow in thought. "Ze freckled one?"

"Yeah, John Laurens." He smiled faintly at my description of his friend. "Actually, I don't think I've introduced myself. I'm Alexander Hamilton."

I had to restrain myself from gasping. I plastered a thin smile across my face, and replied, "Though we are not just meeting, it is nice to meet you. And thank you for telling me your friend's name as well."

"I'm sorry again for him. He is actually a decent man when you get to know him," he assured me with a smile. I gave him the warmest smile I could muster as he left.

And then I burst into a panicked search. I frantically tore through the pages of my notebook, reading inserts from some of the old letters to try to find the name. I looked through the scribbled records of the stories from Père that I jotted down when I missed having him tell me his tales. I flipped to any and all parts of the book, knowing that it was somewhere. And that's when I found it. Jotted in my writing from many years ago.

Père was in the Caribbean when he met my mother. Her name was Rachel Faucette, and she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He wanted to be with her, but knew he couldn't. She was married and even had a child. But he was madly in love with her, and they ran away together. Unfortunately, they only lasted a day together because Rachel knew she had to take care of her son, Alexander Hamilton.

I gasped loudly. He was my half brother. And he had no idea.


	3. Take a Shot

He was my half brother. And he had no idea.

I let out an exasperated breath and leaned up against the wall. I snapped the journal shut and looked out the window at Hamilton's retreating figure. What comes next? Do I tell him? I hadn't a clue how I could.

Hey Hamilton, we just met and all, but your mom cheated on your dad and I was the result.

That would end well.

But if he was here, was my mother as well? My heart leapt slightly at the thought, but I instantly shot it down. There was no way I could tell him. At least not yet.

I pulled my trunk from its place under my bed and flicked open the buckles. I leafed through much of what was in it, but fell back onto the hard mattress of my cot in frustration when I found what I was looking for. Ink stained half of my trunk and belongings, including a majority of the parchment I had brought to write home. I supposed bitterly that I would have to figure this out without the help of my family.

I delicately shut my trunk with a sigh and tucked it back under my bed. So I would be cut off from all communication with my family until I could find a shop that sold parchment and ink as well as scrounge up enough money to pay for it. The day just kept getting better and better.

Overcome with fatigue and irritation, I crawled back onto my bed. I was long asleep by the time the men from my barracks finally pulled themselves away from the pub and walked back, undoubtedly drunk as sailors.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

An earsplitting sound pierced the brisk night air, jolting me from my deep sleep. As I sat bolt upright in my bed, I wasn't sure what time it was or whether Hamilton and his friends were back; I wasn't even sure what the sound I heard was. The only thing I was sure of was the genuine panic that filled every part of me. I could nearly hear my heart thumping in my chest as I tried to regain my bearings.

After a few moments of panting, the clouds muddling my mind parted and I could think straight. My breathing slowed as I realized that the men were back, so at the very least I wasn't alone, but they were all still fast asleep. It must have been the middle of the night.

Hard as I tried, I still couldn't quite figure out what the sound was that had awoken me. Until it rang out again. A gunshot. We were under attack.

I hurried to my feet as another shot was fired, and then another. The men were finally beginning to wake up as I ran to grab my rifle from its place on the wall.

"What's going on?" Laurens asked sleepily, slurring his words.

"Five more minutes," Mulligan whined, trying to cover his head with his pillow. I ignored them; I was in too much of a hurry to do anything more than roll my eyes. They realized at last what was happening when the gunshots came in more of a quick succession.

The ambush on our camp was quickly becoming more of a battle as I ran out the door onto the dirt road. I saw people out of the corner of my eye coming from all directions to join the fight.

Leaves crunched underfoot as I began to near the battleground. I raced into the woods, branches scraping my arms, and finally reached the battle almost a mile from camp. I stationed myself somewhere within a line of men that stretched far to my left and right.

I began to load my gun as I heard four more pairs of feet trampling the underbrush behind me. The men stationed themselves on both sides of me, and it was oddly comforting to not be alone.

I fired across the field into the cloud of ash and gunsmoke, adding another shot the the already deafening clamor of the battle.

I reloaded my gun, cursing the slow process, and fired it across the field. I could never have known if it hit anyone; the air was full of ash and smoke from battle. A scream rang out not far from me, and in the corner of my eye I saw a man fall to the ground in pain. I wanted to drop my gun and help him, but I knew I couldn't.

I gritted my teeth and reloaded again.

The sun was beginning to rise and the sky was taking on a dull yellow color where the smoke above was catching the light. Faint yells, muffled through gunshots, came from all around as I continued firing on the British. Blood splattered the ground, digging into the mud as soldiers' heels pressed it down.

Bullets whizzed past my ears, and my knees shook in fear with the knowledge that any of those bullets could have easily taken my life. The smoke that filled the air all across the field was growing more dense by the second; I could hardly see a meter in front of myself. The unwelcome smoke filled my lungs and I burst into a coughing fit just as I fired my gun.

I gasped for clean air in such distress that I didn't realize when a man emerged from the cloud of smoke and charged at me with a bayonet. I rose my head to get back to the fight and my eyes widened in horror at the sight of the man who had nearly reached me.

Everything seemed to move in slow motion as I tried to fire my gun but realized I hadn't reloaded. A figure jumped out in front of me to stop him from reaching me.

Stay alive, I pleaded whoever it was who had come to my rescue. In a swift movement, he dodged the bayonet of the other man and stabbed another through his shoulder. The Redcoat fell to the ground as the bayonet was pulled from his shoulder, shining with newly spilled blood.

He turned around with a look of concern when I finally realized who it was. John Laurens had saved my life.

I gave him a nod signifying that I was fine and he gave me a small smile before returning to his station.

After that, I was completely shaken. The battle lasted well into the afternoon, but to me it passed quickly in a blur of reds and yellows. Neither side advanced in the war; we ended in a stalemate after hours of trading gunshots. But I was hardly paying attention to that.

Of course I had known that in a war my life would be at risk every day. I had known that freeing our nation meant having blood on my hands. But when the reality of it finally hit me, it just felt so... real. I could have easily lost my life that morning. That simple thought stayed with me all day.

When the battle ended, I didn't go back to my barracks at first. I started to, but somewhere along the path I discouraged myself from going back. I instead just kept walking around the camp, trying to clear my head.

I wandered aimlessly down the path for hours. I turned right then left then left again and lost track quickly, often ending up where I had already been. Finally, the sun began to set. I knew I couldn't just keep walking.

So I found myself going to the last place I thought I'd end up. I walked up the creaky wooden stairs, my shoes adding to the dirt that already covered them. I pushed open the door and almost smiled as I was once again hit with the noise of drunk yelling men. This time it didn't feel quite as unwelcome.

I sat onto one of the stools in front of the bar.

"Strongest thing you 'ave got," I told the bartender and he nodded and went to get me a drink. While he was looking through the shelves, I glanced around. A small smile settled onto my lips as I noticed the four men from my barracks sitting around a table, laughing merrily.

"Here you are," the bartender said, regaining my attention. I thanked him and almost started to drink what was in the cup he gave me before I caught a whiff of it. I crinkled my nose and put the cup back down.

I drank my first glass of the liquid little by little, when I heard someone behind me slam their glass down and start to talk; it almost sounded like a speech.

"I may not live to see our glory." I recognized the voice as Hamilton.

"I may not live to see our glory," the others repeated somberly.

"But that doesn't mean I won't join the fight," Hamilton continued.

"But we've all joined the fight." Herc raised his glass with a grin.

"And when some have lived and others have died, many will tell our stories," Hamilton went on "They'll tell the story of tonight,"

A smile began to form on my face at his words. That man really was a writer.

"Let's have another round tonight," Mulligan decided, and they all nodded appreciatively.

"Raise a glass to freedom," Laurens joined in softly, "freedom for all, never to be taken away. Despite what they try to tell us." I smiled at his words, finally deciding to join them.

"Raise a glass to us, four against the world," Laurens continued.

"Can that be changed to five?" I gave them an unsure smile as I reached where they were sitting. They met me with whoops and wide grins, so I took a seat with them on the couch where Mulligan and Lafayette sat, dropping myself onto the open spot between the pair.

"We knew you'd come back," Hercules chuckled, resting a hand on my shoulder, "I'm just so irresistible."

"Whatever you say, Mulligan. Last I checked, I was the irresistible one, though." I shot him a wink, and he chuckled with a nod.

"Can I finish making a toast?" John interrupted, making us all laugh as he  
playfully glared at me.

"Anyway, raise a glass to our newfound freedom, to protecting it with our lives, to writing the story our children will tell." A soft smile was etched onto his features, and I caught his eye, smiling warmly and nodding.

"Hear hear!" Hercules yelled before throwing back his glass, sending his entire beer down his throat in one gulp. I couldn't help but chuckle as Alex just sighed at his antics.

Lafayette stretched his arm onto the back of the couch behind me and I rested my head onto his shoulder. I smiled, finding unlikely comfort in the presence of these men.

"I am glad you joined us, amour," Lafayette said softly, and I nodded.

"Surprisingly, I am as well. You all are truly not so bad," I said, "but you still cannot call me that."

"I will do my best to stop."

"You 'ad better," I warned, sending him a playful glare as I pointed my glass at him.

"You are just so easy to love, though, so this will being very difficult," he added matter-of-factly, coaxing a chuckle from me.

"Ah, oui, who would not love me? Ze woman who acts like a man," I said sarcastically, and he shook his head.

"You do not act like a man. You do things that women should be able to do, though you are the first."

I looked at him with an eyebrow raised for a moment, before turning away and nodding. "I like that perspective."

"And that is part of what is so loveable about you," he added.

"Lafayette," I groaned.

"I am only joking!" he defended himself, laughing. Something in his tone didn't seem so believable, though.

"Interj," I sighed, bringing the pint of... Beer? Whiskey? I realized then that I hadn't asked the bartender what it was, and shrugged before bringing it to my lips nonetheless.

I took a small sip and identified the taste as rum, though I didn't know why it was quite so strong. On taking a larger swig, I nearly spit it out as it burned my throat and I doubled over coughing. I hadn't realized quite how strong it would be all at once.

"Are you alright, mon amour?" Lafayette's arm wrapped around my shoulder as he looked at me with slight worry.

"Je vais bien, but do not call me that," I assured him as I sat back up. I was thankful that his arm didn't leave my shoulder, though.

We all sat there for a while longer, joking and laughing as the sun dipped below the horizon. I didn't say much; I could feel the effects of the alcohol hitting me little by little for almost an hour. Then it hit me all at once.

Instantly, I felt completely fatigued but simultaneously full of energy. I dropped my face into crook of Lafayette's neck with a groan.

"Je suis fatigué" I whined and Hamilton and Lafayette chuckled at me.

My eyes drifted to Lafayette's ponytail as my chin rested on his neck. He had such cute hair. I started bouncing one of his tiny curls with my finger. I turned back to the conversation, now with a slightly larger smile as I twirled Lafayette's hair between my fingers.

"It's getting late, we should probably start getting back," Hamilton pointed out and everyone muttered agreements.

"Je ne veux pad bouger," I slurred.

"Anyone care to translate?" Mulligan requested confusedly.

"Not now," Lafayette replied with a slight laugh at my words.

"Vous levez," he turned to me and offered his hand to help me up. I looked up at him with a frown. The slight frown faded as I looked at him in the light. The light behind him cast a thread of gold in an outline of his body and highlighted his perfect jawline. Had he always been so perfect? Was that level of perfection even possible? I sighed.

"Je ne peux pas bourger," I complained again, but then I smiled with the idea that had come to me, "allez-vous me porter?"

"Y/N," he sighed.

"S'il vous plaît," I begged.

"Fine," he gave in and I grinned. He picked me up from the couch bridal style and began to carry me out of the bar.

"You are so drunk," he muttered quietly.

"I am sober!" I protested and giggled in spite of myself. I went back to lazily playing with his hair as we left the bar, but shivered when we got outside.

"Are you cold, mon amour?" he asked, concerned.

"Oui, but I am not your love."

He sighed pulled me closer to his chest. I nuzzled my face into his warm chest as he carried me the rest of the way to our barracks.

Hamilton got the door for us and I breathed in deeply once we entered the tiny cabin again, though I didn't really breathe in anything but the smell of Lafayette's shirt. He even smelled perfect.

He walked over to the middle of the room and laid me delicately onto my bed before pulling the covers onto me.

"Thank you Lafayette," I murmured as I began to fall asleep.

"Toujours, mon amour."

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

Lafayette's POV

I woke up early the next morning, despite the late night I had before. I quickly dressed and tied my hair back before sitting back down on the side of my bed to put on my shoes. I tied both and was about to stand up when I saw Y/N still asleep in front of me.

She was beautiful; there was no other way to put it. The sunlight now came streaming through the window, illuminating her hair. Her plump lips fell slightly apart as she breathed, her chest rising and falling peacefully.

I could have sat there and watched her for hours, but her eyelids fluttered open to see me watching her. I quickly busied myself with re-tying my shoe, trying to hide my face so as not to let her see the color filling my cheeks.

I finished tying my shoe before standing up and went outside for a little while. I enjoyed the warm weather and went to fill my canteen with water only to find Hamilton, Laurens, and Mulligan all standing around the well. They weren't actually using it, but stood congregated around it.

"What you are doing?" I asked, raising as questioning eyebrow. Hamilton shrugged.

"Y/N needs to change at some point," he pointed out. I hadn't thought of that.

I filled my canteen and we all walked back together. Sure enough, Y/N sat on her bed in a different outfit reading a book.

"Laf, push your bed over here," Laurens called from the other side of the room, making me realize I was staring. I nodded and walked over to push my bed up next to Hamilton's.

We all sat down in a circle on the beds and Laurens began to shuffle a deck cards. We played a hand and I lost horribly. I kept glancing back at Y/N; I was hardly paying attention to the game.

"Laf, it's your turn," Hamilton said beside me. I hadn't realized that Laurens had dealt again.

"Oui, sorry," I picked up my hand and played my Jack of spades. The round ended and I took almost half of the points.

"Laf," Laurens said, trying to get my attention. I could hear him speaking, but I was too interested in watching Y/N to quite realize that he was addressing me.

"Ah, screw it. Y/N," he called over to her. She didn't look up. He sighed dramatically and picked up what was nearest to throw at her.

"Merde," she swore loudly when the shoe hit the book out of her hands.

"Ce quis le baisage?" she said angrily to Laurens as she picked up the book.

"Come play cards," he called over.

"What game?" she rose an eyebrow.

"Hearts. I'll deal you in," he said. She smirked and walked over. I had the feeling she was about the destroy us all.

She took a seat between me and Hamilton as Laurens dealt another hand. Mulligan kept track of points as we played, and she was way ahead of the rest of us when we neared the last hand.

It was the second round of that hand, and Laurens lead with clubs. We went around the circle and I waited in anticipation to see who would take the cards. We finally got to Y/N last, and she laid the queen of spades on top of my ace of clubs.

"You little enfoiré!" I swore, shoving her playfully.

"This enfoiré just won ze game," she replied and shoved me back. I must have been too close to the edge of the bed, because I fell backwards onto the floor. They all laughed as I stood back up, playfully glaring at Y/N.

"It was an accident," she laughed, her hands raised in mock surrender. I rolled my eyes and sat back down next to her.

"You are just so cute when you are anger." She said with a mock pout and I rolled my eyes

"Can we go to the pub?" Mulligan asked and we all murmured in agreement. Laurens packed up his cards up and we all walked down the road to the bright little building up ahead.

We sat down at the couch and chairs around our usual table as Mulligan ordered us a round of drinks. Y/N sat next to me after I rested my arm on the back of the couch.

Warmth filled me as she laid her head back onto my arm. I watched, my smile growing, as she laughed at something Laurens said. I was glad that my friends were getting along, but it's hard to hate someone after you survive a battle with them.

I absentmindedly fiddled with a lock of her hair as the night went on, noticing that whenever my hand brushed her neck a pink tint filled her cheeks. And so we sat there for the rest of the night, talking and laughing. All was well.


	4. Holding Me

"I do not know what it is about the smells of rain, but it calms me," I said, smiling as I leaned against the windowsill. It had been nearly a month since I arrived, and I was finally getting to know all of the men. As it turned out, they weren't always enormous assholes.

"Really? I hate it," Laurens said and I sighed.

"And 'ere we are again, you are always a downer," I walked back over to my bed and dropped onto the springy mattress.

"Could you two shut up? I'm trying to beat these two at cards," Mulligan said and I rolled my eyes.

"You are awful in cards," I pointed out as he huffed and took another hand.

"That's why I said trying," he said and I chuckled.

I laid there, eyes shut, listening to the rain for a few more minutes. A creak from beside me signaled that the door was opening. My eyes flitted open to glance at who was entering the room.

"Mail," he said, bringing in his crate, "hopefully it's not all soaked."

I furrowed my brow, recognizing the man. Was he the one who was talking to Washington the first day I was here?

"Thanks Burr," Hamilton walked over to the crate and started shuffling through the letters. I didn't move, assuming that I had no mail.

I went back to watching the rain. It was too bad that it was raining, as it was warmer out than it had been in a while. I would've liked to go into town, see the markets and people.

"Hey Y/N, have you met Burr?" Hamilton asked, yanking me from my thoughts.

"Maybe?" I replied, not sure how to answer. I mean, we'd met briefly and I'd used that time to basically tell him that his attack plan was stupid. Hamilton's eyes lit up at my answer.

"He's the prodigy of Princeton College," he informed me excitedly.

"'Ere we go again," Lafayette said tiredly.

"Graduated in two years then joined the Revolution!" Herc added, mimicking Hamilton's excitement.

"An orphan just like me!" Laurens joined in. Hamilton was an orphan? I felt my heart stop as I realized what that meant.

"Alright, enough," Hamilton cut them off, rolling his eyes, "Burr, this in Y/N Legrand; Y/N, this is Aaron Burr."

"Nice to meet you," I gave him a forced smile and shook his hand.

"You as well," he replied with a smile that appeared genuine before taking the crate and leaving again. That was when the reality hit me.

Hamilton was an orphan. I would never get to know my mother. My stomach turned to lead as I sat onto my bed. I would never have someone to call Meré.

I walked back over to the windowsill, looking out so that they couldn't see my face. I did everything I could to suppress the hot tears stinging my eyes.

I stood there, looking out but not seeing anything. I must have been there for hours, though they felt like minutes.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

"Y/N, we're heading down to the pub, wanna come?" Laurens asked. His words shook my from my daze, distracting me for a moment from my feelings. I hadn't a clue how long I'd been standing there. It was only then that I finally realized that the rain had stopped.

"Non. Go on ahead without me. I am not really in the mood," I turned around and sat on my bed, giving him a small smile. He raised an eyebrow but shrugged and didn't question it.

I pulled out my journal as they left. I flipped to one of my many portraits of my mother, drinking in every detail of her face. I looked at every hard line and every curve, my tears threatening to spill as I wished more than anything to just once see that gorgeous woman standing in front of me.

They shut the door, and that's when I was finally done supressing my emotions.

The tears that had been pricking the corners of my eyes now streamed down my cheeks, ruining my drawing as they soaked my journal. She was gone? How long had she been gone?

Loud sobs shook my entire body as I sat cross legged, hunched over my journal. I was in utter disbelief. I had never even gotten to know her.

I drew in a shaky breath in an attempt to calm myself, but it hardly lasted a second. Tears covered my face and filled my hands as I cried with the force of ocean waves battling the cliffside.

"Y/N?" a quiet voice behind me asked. I slowly lifted my head, almost afraid to turn around and see him standing behind me.

"Can you leave?" I asked as nicely as I could manage.

"Why are you crying? What is wrong?" Lafayette asked, rushing to my side.

"It is nothing." I took a deep breath. "Can you just pretending you did not see me?"

"Not anymore; I 'ave just walked in on you sobbing," he said softly.

"Just do not say anything. Is nothing. I am fine." I shook my head, running my hand through my hair.

"Hé, no you are not. What happened?" He took a seat next to me on my bed, dripping water onto my sheets from his rain-soaked clothing. I finally looked at him. His kind brown eyes filled with concern as he examined my expression. Could I tell him?

"Is Hamilton an orphan? Was Laurens serious?" I asked, longing for him to tell me it wasn't true.

"I- What?" Lafayette asked, taken aback, "What does that 'ave to do with anything?"

"Just answer me. S'il vous plaît," I said.

"Yes. 'E is an orphan. Now can you tell me why you were crying?"

Another sob escaped me at his words, and I was soon weeping once again. Lafayette wrapped his arms around me and my breath hitched at the touch, slowing my tears for just a moment. He pulled me into his embrace that was cold to the touch but warmed me inside.

"Hé, you are okay. I am 'ere. You are safe." He stroked my hair calmingly. I inhaled deeply and caught the smell of old books and bonfires with my face nuzzled into his arm.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he finally asked. I grimaced ever so slightly, knowing that I couldn't carry on without telling him.

"I 'ave a secret," I finally said, "I am sorry that I haven't told you, but it's bigger than any I 'ave ever kept." He gave me a look of confusion, so I continued.

"If I tell you this, you 'ave to swear not to tell a soul."

"You 'ave my word," he promised. I took a deep breath before coming right out with it.

"Hamilton is my brother." I sat in front of him awaiting a reaction. I searched his face, the only sign of any feeling lying in his eyes. I wasn't sure what to make of it.

"What?" he asked. No emotion was in his tone. I instantly regretted telling him.

"Well, 'alf brother. 'is mother is mine as well," I explained. We sat there in silence for a few more minutes, him still holding me. He fiddled with a lock of my hair and I found myself unable to breathe anytime his hand even nearly brushed my skin.

"That still does not explain why you were crying, mon amie," he said, finally breaking the silence.

"I just," I began, "I never knew my mother. I 'ave always wanted to, but I never had the chance. But now, to learn that she is dead, I do not know what to do."

Tears began to stream from my eyes once again, but I blinked them back. I didn't need his pity. I didn't want it.

"And my father, on top of that. Four months ago my family received word that 'e passed away." I nearly choked on the sob growing in my throat. A single tear escaped my eye, and the rest followed without delay.

"I am an orphan, Laf," I sobbed. I no longer cared whether I had his pity. I just needed his comfort.

"Hé, shh. I know," he said softly. He lifted my chin so I was looking at him. He wiped my tears away with his thumb, though it didn't do anything but replace the tears with water from his hands. My breath caught in my throat as I looked into his eyes.

"But you are 'ere now. 'Ere with us. With your brother," he whispered. In a motion so subtle I would've missed if his face were not so near mine, his eyes flickered to my lips. "With me."

He lead my face to his as we both closed our eyes in anticipation. I could feel the warmth of his skin only millimeters away from my own.

Thud.

My eyes snapped open as a boot hit the first step coming up to our barracks. I looked into Lafayette's eyes which were now further from my own as we had both pulled slightly away at the sound. Surprise filled his eyes and I bit my lip, startled at the sound but reluctant to leave his touch.

Thud.

I pulled away from him instantly upon hearing the sound again. We both sat next to each other when the door creaked open.

"Hey guys, did I leave my coat in here?" Hamilton asked, walking into the room. I felt a sort of resentment as he walked in, but instantly chastised myself. He hasn't walked in on anything real. There was simply a moment where I was at my lowest and Lafayette came in at the right time.

"I am not sure," Lafayette responded stiffly. I tried to catch his eyes but he had fixed his glance on his shoes.

"Well, I just wanted to come get it; the rain is picking up," he said, pulling his jacket on.

"I 'ad not noticed," Lafayette said.

"Alright, I'm going to head back to the bar. Either of you care to join me?" Hamilton asked.

"I think I will," Lafayette said. He looked me in the eye before standing up, though I couldn't read his expression. I felt a sort of hurt as he walked with Hamilton to the door, but did my best to brush it off. I had no reason to feel hurt. So why did I?

And they walked out together, leaving me alone with my sadness and newfound confusion.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

Over the next few days, it kept raining non-stop. I kept to myself for the most part, reading or writing in my journal. I didn't talk to Lafayette about what had happened. I wasn't even sure I knew what had happened.

Later in the week, the rain finally cleared up. Clear, bright blue skies and warm weather to match. Well, warm for a New York February.

I didn't bother dressing in uniform, but instead slid on a dull orange sweater that I had essentially stolen from my brother's room just days before my departure. I also grabbed a pair of ran pants and my brown leather riding boots.

Though I knew they would have disagreed, I didn't feel like I was on the best of terms with the four men who lived with me. But I wanted more than anything to go into town.

When they finally all left together in the evening, going who knows where, I grabbed my journal as well as all the change I had left and left. I ran out gleefully onto the muddy road down to the stables.

York, my father's horse, whinnied as I threw open the stable doors. I lightly grimaced as I remembered how easily startled the stallion was.

"I am sorry I left you 'ere for so long," I said quietly, rubbing its neck. I kissed its silky coat before dropping my belongings into the bag on its saddle.

I mounted him after leading him out of the stable, and grinning ear to ear, snapped the reins I held.

He went forward through the camp at a quick trot and I was surprised at how eager I was to leave.

Soon, I was back onto the cobblestone street that lead through the city. I inhaled deeply, knowing that wearing my old day clothes and riding my father's horse was the closest I would get to home. I didn't care too much. The scent of cinnamon lingered under my nose as I remembered my brother's favorite thing in the world: cinnamon rolls.

I walked York over to the market stall to where I traced the scent back. I paid for the decadent pastry with a smile before leading the horse alongside me to a bench at the edge of the square.

I took a massive bite from the gooey cinnamon roll, not caring in the slightest as my face was covered in the sticky sweet filling. I finished it in likely under a minute, letting out a sigh of happiness as I licked off my fingers and wiped my face.

A quiet chuckle beside me startled me, as I had thought I was alone in the bench. I flipped the hair shielding my view to my right onto my shoulder to see who sat next to me. I let out a sigh upon seeing his face.

"Merde, Laf. You scared me." I put my hand to my heart as he chuckled. I glared playfully as his amusement.

"What are you doing down 'ere? Where are the others?" I asked with a grin.

"I, um," he coughed, a blush filling his cheeks. I raised an eyebrow at his clear discomfort.

"Well, I headed back from lunch to come check on you in our barracks, but you weren't there," he said, shifting in his seat, "And I remembered you saying you wanted to go into town earlier in the week, so I came here to try and find you."

"Thank you, but I can manage on my own for a few hours," I replied with a chuckle, brushing my hair out of my face. His cheeks flushed a deeper red. We sat there for a few minutes; neither of us said anything, not wanting to ruin the moment. It was peaceful bliss, sitting there looking into his eyes. Unfortunately, I couldn't stop it when another man slid into the seat next to me, draping his arm over my shoulders.

"I see you've met my friend, though why would anyone want to talk to him when I'm here?" I couldn't see him on the bench, but I knew instantly that it was John Laurens.

"And with a body like that," I didn't turn around, but could almost feel him looking me up and down, "Why waste your time with him?" He scooted closer to me and slipped his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I still wasn't facing him, and it became clear that he didn't recognize me from the back.

"Laurens," Lafayette warned, trying to bring his attention to who he was talking to.

"Relax Laf, I'm just joking about you," he snickered, unable to take a hint.

"You should come down to camp with me; I'll treat you right," he went on, his focus back on me. I rolled my eyes as a snort of laughter nearly escaped me.

"C'mon baby, don't you talk?" he nudged me.

"As a matter of fact, I do." I turned to face him finally, hardly suppressing my laughter.

"Y/N," his eyes widened and his face turned a deep scarlet. I burst out laughing at his reaction.

"I take it you have a, 'ow you say, zing for me?" I teased, nudging his side.

"Why didn't you say anything?" he asked Lafayette, his eyes still wide. Lafayette sighed at our friend's clear obliviousness.

"On ze bright side, you know that I will be coming down to camp with you," I laughed.

"It's not funny," Laurens muttered with a sheepish smile.

"You ought to be a bit more careful 'oo you 'it on," I said, still chuckling. He rolled his eyes and finally realized that his arm was still around my waist. He blushed, if possible, even a deeper red as he removed it and shifted away from me a bit.

"Alright, I will see you guys back at camp later. I 'ave a few things I would like to pick up." I stood up, grabbing York's reigns.

"We will come with you," Lafayette offered.

"I am fine on my own. Besides, Mulligan and 'amilton will be waiting for you at camp," I said.

"Okay, see you later Y/N," Laurens stood up and I chuckled at his still pink face.

They walked back down the cobblestone trail as I looked around the square for what I needed. It took me a few minutes of walking, but I finally came across a market stall selling ink and parchment.

I picked up a bottle of ink as well as a few feet of parchment before paying the store owner. Glad to have a means of communication again, I smiled as I laid it into my bag attached to York's saddle. I then went down to curl comfortably under a large oak tree with a cup of coffee I had bought from a nearby stand.

I closed my eyes, inhaling the smell and feeling the heat of my warm drink, and a smile came to my face. I took a long sip before putting the cup onto the ground beside me to instead pick up my journal.

I sketched my view upwards, the spire of the tree trunk at the edge with the branches sprouting outwards, along with the dim sunset light filtering through to make many of the branches little more than silhouettes against the bright sky.

I drew a stroke of one of the final branches before lifting my head to look above myself once more, but something caught me eye on my way.

A familiar looking trio stood in front of me, though I couldn't quite place where I had seen them before. I eyed them quizzically as they strided through the square, nearly dancing. Their demeanor was altogether one of joy, but the third of the girls looked less than happy.

It finally struck me that these were the same three girls I had seen in the square just a month ago. I furrowed my brow. They looked wealthy, from their fancy shoes to how their hair was perfectly parted.

Apparently, someone else had the same thought. I watched Burr approach them, looking full of himself and confident. That confidence was clearly misplaced, I thought, as they didn't look exactly pleased to meet him.

Nevertheless, the smug look never dropped from his face. I rolled my eyes, shutting my book and slipping it into my bag to walk over.

"Burr! Lovely to see you. 'ow 'as your day been? 'arrassed many women? Or are these the first?" I asked, leaning my elbow onto his shoulder casually.

"Y/N. Always a pleasure," he forced a smile, "I was just having a nice chat with these three."

"Is that the phrase they use 'ere in the colonies for being rejected by someone? I 'ave not 'eard it; I suppose I will 'ave to add it to my vocabulary," I said, raising my eyebrows. He forced a laugh.

"I guess I'll see you all around," he said, still smiling, but his eyes narrowed in annoyance. I rolled my eyes as he walked off.

"That asshole," I shook my head before turning to the trio who still stood in front of me.

"That was amazing," the one in pink said.

"I am glad you think so," I said with a chuckle, "I 'ave 'ad a month learning 'ow to deal with the men in the army."

"The army," she started, knitting her brow in confusion, "but you're a woman."

"That I am. Y/N Legrand," I extended my hand in greeting. She shook it with an expression that was somewhere between confusion and amusement.

"I'm Angelica Schuyler," she said, "and these are my sisters, Eliza and Peggy."

"So you've been in the army for a month?" she questioned, a smile playing at her lips. I nodded.

"I work as a battle strategist for General Washington," I explained, "It is usually nice, but the four men I live with are often complete asses."

"You live with four men?" Peggy asked, scrunching up her nose in displeasure.

"Unfortunately," I laughed, "Where are you three from?"

"We just live uptown," Eliza said.

"Then I suggest you get back; this isn't a great place for three rich ladies after sundown," I advised.

"You sound like everyone else," Angelica rolled her eyes, "we're here to see the revolution. I'm looking for a mind at work."

"There are very few of those in ze revolution," I chuckled. "Though I suppose downtown is just as good a place to look as any. Find anyone yet?"

"You're the first," Eliza said with a wink.

"I am flattered, but you are not really my type," I joked.

"I'm hurt," she faked a pained expression and placed her hand on her heart. We both burst out laughing after a moment.

"I cannot tell you 'ow nice it is to talk to women for a change," I said, still giggling.

"I can't imagine being exclusively around men," Eliza said.

"I remember a time when I could not 'ave either," I sighed, looking out on my camp just past the city. Lights were starting to go out.

"It is about time for me to get back to camp, though. Please tell me this is not the last time I will see you?" I asked.

"It won't be."


	5. Closed Book

Let me just say that I am terrible at delivering news.

For instance, news about one of my new friends actually being my half brother.

Perhaps it's my stuttering, mumbling, or slurring words when I get stressed that make it so bad, or otherwise my ultimate bluntness.

So, when I have to deliver news, I put it off. And I put it off. And I keep putting it off until the day that delivering the information becomes crucial.

Though, I will try to deliver the news.

And, I tried.

I began to leave our barracks, still mentally preparing myself for the conversation. I was going to ruin everything. I knew it.

"Hey Y/N?" Hamilton called after me as I opened the door.

He knew, I thought, he had figured it out.

I mentally cursed as my heart skipped a beat and then proceeded to pound through my chest. I turned around, attempting to wear a look of innocent curiosity.

I raised an eyebrow, afraid my lips would betray me if I were to utter a single word.

"Can you grab my boots from outside?"

I hadn't realized I had been holding my breath until I exhaled deeply, overcome with relief. I hurried out of the small cabin and grabbed his boots before opening the door ever so slightly.

"'amilton," I called and he looked up, "catch."

I tossed him the boots and had to suppress a laugh as one of the boots hit him in the face, though the others didn't even attempt to stop laughing. I giggled slightly as I shut the door, going to wait for them outside. Once the door was shut, I inhaled and exhaled as deeply as I could manage, trying to calm my nerves.

I stepped down onto the path and paced across the ground in front of our barracks, clouds of dirt freeing themselves from the earth with every step. This time, I was just being paranoid. He hadn't found anything out. Next time, I might not be so lucky. I knew that I finally had to tell him. Breathing heavily, I practiced my words in my head.

Hamilton, at some point when you were a baby, your mother and my father-

I knew without even finishing my thought that it would go terribly if I went down that route.

Hamilton, guess what? Turns out I'm your half sister. Crazy, no?

I wished it would be that easy.

Hamilton-

My thoughts were interrupted by several pairs of boots walking across the wooden floor behind me. I cursed as I realized I would just have to do my best. They all exited the small cabin and I took a deep breath before stopping Alexander.

"'amilton, before we leave, can I speak to you for a minute?" I asked as he hit the bottom step going out. He raised an eyebrow and stopped in his tracks.

"Sure, what do you need?" he asked as the others all left. I was glad they wouldn't be there at the time.

"Come back inside." He looked at me quizzically but obliged all the same. I followed him in and shut the door behind me before checking to make sure that the others were a safe distance away. There would likely be yelling.

"Alright, I do not know 'ow to put this into words." I ran my hand through my hair.

"So, there is a thing about something in my life, well in actuality someone, but um-" I began to ramble, but he cut me off.

"Oh," he said slowly, "this is the thing... the one Lafayette-" This time it was my turn to cut him off.

"'e told you?" I asked, color draining from my face.

"He didn't exactly tell me," he said, a smirk growing on his face.

"Are we speaking of ze same thing?" I furrowed my brow.

"Come on, Y/N, you don't have to be a genius to be able to tell that you and Laf are together," he winked. I raised my eyebrows.

"Excuse-moi?"

"It's alright, Y/N, it's no big deal." He stood up, pulling his coat back on.

"No- I- 'e-," I sputtered, "We are not together!"

"Whatever you say." He rolled his eyes with a grin before walking out. I groaned before following him.

I pulled on my coat as we walked to the pub, he and I side by side. The others were a bit ahead of us.

"So how long have you two been a thing? I'm betting that it started a week after you got here, but Mulligan thinks it's more recent," he said quietly after checking to make sure the others were out of earshot. I rolled my eyes at his accusations.

"You both lose your bets," I said, "The two of us are friends, nothing more."

"So then what was that thing I walked in on about a week ago?" He smirked, knowing he'd cornered me. My eyes widened. Merde.

I cringed, thinking back on the moment and wishing it had never happened.

"I do not know what you are talking about." I attempted to play dumb, but he saw right through me.

"Don't even bother," he rolled his eyes, "the tension was so thick after I walked in I could have cut it with a saber."

But then his smirk fell, a thought striking him.

"Did I interrupt you two making out?"

I groaned as he began to talk again.

"Because if I did, Y/N-"

"You did not interrupt anything!" I exclaimed, my cheeks furiously red for reasons that no longer had to do with the cold.

"'ow did we get on this anyway? I was trying to tell you something important and you started spewing this...this nonsense!" I sputtered furiously. He just chuckled.

"Why are you possibly laughing right now, 'amilton?" I said, staring daggers into his smirking face.

"I can't tell whether you're in denial about your feelings or trying to hide your relationship, but either way it's hilarious," he said. I huffed as we reached the pub steps.

"We do not speak of this around anyone else, understand?" I said seriously.

"Will do." He gave me a lazy grin, hopping up the steps in front of me.

"M'lady." He winked as he held the door for me to go in.

I rolled my eyes before walking past him into the warm building. The other three men were in a cluster at our usual spots, having a heated discussion while Lafayette's cheeks appeared to be burning. I stifled a giggle at the group before walking over.

"Hé," I greeted, walking over to the group.

"Y/N!" Mulligan met my words almost too gleefully. Something was up. I gave him a quizzical look that he chose to ignore. "I got you a drink."

"Trying to get me drunk?" I gave him a lazy grin, remembering my first day here. He matched my expression, handing me a pint of Sam Adams as I sat down next to him.

"It feels like so long ago, the night you got here." Laurens waved his pint at me, a far off look in his eye. Tipsy already? It was likely.

"Do not getting emotional on me 'ere, Laurens." I chuckled, taking a swig of my own beer.

"But it's been so long! Look at where we are; look at where we started!" He began to stand up, and I groaned as Lafayette started to chant.

"Speech! Speech! Speech!"

"Please no speech." I gave Laurens pleading eyes; he pursed his lips as though considering it.

Which only made Lafayette chant louder.

"Speech! Speech! Speech!"

"Why are you doing this to me?" I dramatically sighed and leaned my head onto Lafayette's shoulder, pretending to faint.

"You are just so cute when you are upset." I gave him a pout and he laughed before pinching my cheek.

"Connard," I muttered, shoving him away. He chuckled as I playfully glared.

We both settled back into the places we had previously sat, shadows of our laughs still written on our faces. My grin died as Hamilton caught my eye, raising an eyebrow and smirking. I gave him the most annoyed look I could muster and rolled my eyes. His smirk didn't falter in the least.

I averted my eyes from his smug expression, looking back to Laurens who looked ready to give a speech. I huffed.

"Okay, I don't have a speech to make, but I'd like to make a toast. Here's to us, finally back together after the battles we've fought. Here's to making the most of our time here before they send us back to our stations. Here's to the one of us who wasn't at those stations with us, but will be." He winked at me and I smiled before he raised his head once more, finishing his speech. "Here's to us!"

They all whooped and laughed before drinking as much as they could in one gulp. I sat there for a moment, pondering his words.

"Let me get this right, you 'ave all already been at war?"

"Oui, mon amie. It 'as been a long time." Lafayette placed his drink back onto the table before reclining over the cushions behind him.

"We're back for a while because some of the soldiers needed to visit their families. Me though? All the family I need is right here." He raised his glass appreciatively and winked.

"I'll drink to that!" Laurens whooped, throwing his head back as he drained his glass.

"You just wanted an excuse to keep drinking!" Hamilton yelled accusingly. Merde, they got loud when they drank.

"So when were you all go to war?"

"1776," they chorused back at me, clinking their glasses with each others'.

"Near three years..." I laid back, processing that.

"Another round! We drink for three years an army!" Lafayette cheered as Laurens returned, bearing another round of beers. I groaned.

"If you are all drunkards when we go back to our barracks, do not expect my 'elp." I rested my head on my hands as I leaned on the table, exhausted by the four men.

"Drunkard means someone who gets drunk often," Hamilton corrected me.

"You caught my meaning, non?" I quirked up an eyebrow at him and he nodded.

"So when do you go back to your stations?" I reverted my attention back to the full group, sitting back up.

"It won't be long now. But this time, you're coming with us." Herc threw his right arm around my neck, giving me a bear hug.

"If you snap my neck trying to 'ug me, I will 'aunt you forever," I said, my voice dying as I ran out of air and couldn't take in more. He chuckled and released me, much to my relief. I gasped for air, rubbing the sides of my neck.

"You need to learn 'ow not to 'urt people," I teasingly lectured him, shoving him lightly.

"You're just too delicate." Laurens leaned over and ruffled my hair, mocking my annoyance with a fake pout.

"Every single one of you is an asshole. I 'ave said it before; I will say it again." I folded my arms, sitting there and forcing myself to deadpan.

"You love us." A grinning Lafayette threw his arm around my neck, clearly drunk at this point. He was too busy shaking my shoulders to notice my face going embarrassingly red. Hamilton wasn't.

I mouthed some choice words at him as he made kissy faces at me. He was tipsy, but as my luck would permit, sober enough to tease me. He put his hand on his heart and mimicked a girl swooning. I pretended to gag in response.

Another round later, everyone was drunk off their faces except for Mulligan and me. They began to stagger back, basically unable to walk.

I sighed, pinching bridge of my nose as Mulligan had to go support Laurens and Hamilton as they tried to get across the path. I copied the action with Lafayette, putting my arm under his shoulder to support his weight as I lead him down the path.

"You know, Y/N, I don't say this enough, but you're the best," he slurred, reverting to French in his drunken state.

"I know, Laf. Shut up until we get to ze barracks."

"I mean it. You're brilliant and helpful and pretty and kind and hilarious. You're better than all the stars in the sky."

"And you are more drunk than all ze sailors on ze sea. Now shut your mouth before you make yourself sound more stupid than you already do." I shook my head, chuckling at his annoyed groan.

"Why can't I just compliment you, love?" I tensed up at his last word, knowing that he was utterly wasted and therefore his words meant nothing.

"I am still not your love," I reminded him quietly.

"But you will be! I will be sure of it!" I giggled at his proclamation. I also had a vivid memory of him drunkenly telling me that he was going to steal every wig from England. We were supposedly going to call him 'Sir Powderhead.' His drunken decisions weren't exactly set in stone.

"Sure I will. Get to sleep." I brought him into our barracks, dropping him onto his mattress before going to lie down as well.

I fell onto the springy pad, exhausted and yet too uncomfortable to sleep. I could feel Lafayette's gaze burning into my back. I heard a sigh from his bed and turned to see him watching me with a glazed expression.

"If you do not at least try to sleep right now, I am going to leave and sleep outside," I threatened with an amused smile before turning back over. Laurens was on my other side, already snoring.

I sat up, bringing myself to the edge of the bed, when Herc dropped down next to me.

"I swear, sometimes I think these three need parents with them."

I chuckled; his words were too true."I guess we know what that makes us."

"What, married?" he retorted, coaxing a laugh from me.

"Exactly, dear," I teased. We sat there together for a moment, smiling lightly, before he broke the silence.

"Hey Y/N?"

"Hmm?"

"Lafayette..." he took a deep breath and slowly began, "He cares about you; he really does. I just need you to know that no matter how drunken, his words aren't empty."

I furrowed my brow.

"Please, don't hurt him."

He put a hand on my shoulder, helping himself up.

"Get some rest, Y/N. Night."

It took me a minute to move; I was stunned by his words. Eventually, I laid down and curled myself into a ball, quickly slipping into a state of sleep weaved with dreams of chocolate curls and a particular Frenchman.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

Creak.

I turned over, trying to ignore the noisy motion coming from the bed beside me. It returned, this time accompanied with a whimper. I huffed, trying to cover my ears with my pillow.

It didn't help.

After a moment, I took a deep breath before turning over to see Lafayette violently tossing in his sleep. I creased my forehead in concern, wanting to help him but not knowing how. I was somewhat afraid to wake him. I slowly shuffled over to his bed and crouched at his side. He tensed up as I took his hand, but was still violently shaking. I silently cursed, not a clue in the world what to do.

After some time of me watching him sleep, trying to figure something out, a thought struck me and I bit my lip, figuring that it would be as helpful as I could get. I inhaled deeply and hummed the first few notes, trying to remember the tune. Then, I began to softly sing the lullaby of my childhood.

Bonne nuit cher enfant  
Quand tu dors dans mes bras

His body relaxed as I began to lull him to sleep. I still held his hand, rubbing circles into his palm, and placed my other hand on the bed.

Le monde tourne en rond  
Et le jour reviendra

His head fell onto my free hand and I smiled before turning over my hand to hold his head.

Jours de larmes  
De sourires

Another shudder ran through his body, and I began to trace his hairline with my thumb, coaxing him away from his nightmares.

Jours de peines  
Ou de joies

He exhaled deeply and I began to remove my hand from under his head, still wary of waking him. I played with one of his curls between my thumb and forefinger as I finished the song.

Mais ce soir tu t'endors  
Comme un ange dans mes bras

I stayed crouched next to him for a moment, slowly releasing his hand. His sculpted features remained etched with worry, though his expression had softened. I watched his eyelashes flutter in his sleep and I smiled, proud of myself.

I began to stand up and walk to my bed when something grabbed my wrist. I inhaled sharply as I whipped around to see Lafayette staring at me, now holding my wrist.

A sleepy smile filled his face as he said, "You have a beautiful voice, amour."

I sighed.

"You just had a nightmare, so I will not correct you," he chuckled quietly at my words, "now get back to sleep."

I tried to turn and leave, put he didn't break his grip on my wrist.

"Laf, let go. I am tired."

"Non, I will just wake you up again."

"Not letting me sleep will not 'elp." I sighed.

"Stay with me; you make my nightmares go away," he pleaded.

"I will just be one bed away. You will be fine." I shook my head and tried again to walk away, but he still didn't let me.

"S'il vous plaît?" I looked down into his begging eyes, feeling heartless to say no. I sighed.

"Are you ever going to let me sleep if I say no?"

"If you say yes, you will never 'ave to find out."

I huffed.

"D'accord."

He smiled and shifted over, making room for me. I climbed onto his tiny mattress, trying not to take up too much room as well as not to bump into him, though it was essentially useless. There was nowhere to where he wasn't. We ended up curled up with his chest against my back and his legs behind mine.

"Night Laf," I murmured into his arms that were wrapped around my torso.

"Goodnight, amour."

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

"But did they?"

A murmured conversation behind me slowly dragged me out of my deep sleep, and I quickly remembered what had occured in the middle last night.

"I dunno, they look fully clothed."

"They could've put their clothes back on."

"We would've heard moans."

"Though, why else would they be in a bed together?"

"Maybe they got cold?"

"You don't sleep with someone when you get cold."

It took up until that sentence for me to fully realize what was being debated. I clenched my teeth, feeling murderous.

"But would Y/N really? So soon?"

Laurens, I take back everything I've said against you, I thought.

"I wouldn't put it past her."

Hamilton, I really wish you weren't my brother.

"Or him, for that matter."

I tensed up at that, holding my breath as I remembered what Herc had been telling me last night. Had he been being honest?

I felt the heart behind me start beating more quickly. I squeezed Lafayette's hand, trying to keep him quiet. I wanted to hear what they had to say. They were all huddled behind us on Mulligan's bed.

"I'll bet they did. After all, would you look at her?"

Lafayette's body became tense around me.

"We all know you're into Y/N, John. Not exactly helping us right now, though."

I elbowed Lafayette lightly in the gut as he began to squeeze my hand protectively.

"So how do we know?"

"We have to ask them."

They say there in silence for a moment before I decided to fill it.

"We did not."

"Right." Hamilton eyed me skeptically as I sat up.

"This is the second time, Y/N. You two need to control your hormones." Mulligan winked at me and I glared.

"And you need to watch your mouth, Mulligan," I snapped at him as Lafayette sat up next to me. Because of the positions we were in, that motion just pushed me onto his lap.

"Actions speak louder than words, Y/N." Hamilton smirked.

"Leave us alone, piqûres." He placed a hand on my shoulder that was likely supposed to calm me, thought it didn't help in the least. Mulligan cocked an eyebrow at me, smirking, and Laurens clutched his heart, letting out an 'aw'.

"Look at you, defending her honor. How cute."

I huffed, standing up.

"I am not dealing with zis today. Have fun getting no 'elp with your 'angovers."

I grabbed my clothes from my bag and went out to the showers to change.

I huffed as I slid on my shirt, which sagged down to my thigh. I furrowed my brow, as all of my shirts had fit up until then. I looked down in confusion and saw a shirt that did not happen to be my own.

I groaned and ran my hand through my hair, frustrated at my luck as I realized that I had taken Lafayette's shirt. But I refused to go back to the barracks.

I emerged from the bathouse somewhat disgruntled and tried to get to my horse without any of them seeing me.

"Sharing clothes now?" A smirking Hamilton stood leaning up against the stables. I sighed and just walked past him but sighed as I heard his footsteps behind me.

"C'mon, I'm just joking."

I raised an eyebrow as I mounted my horse.

"That is, about the sharing clothes. I bet that actually was an accident."

That sounded more like him. Rolling my eyes, I snapped York's reigns and blew by Hamilton as I rode out of the camp.

I rode up the muddy path and cringed as I thought about where to go, knowing that downtown would be bubbling over with people. The thought of being in the packed square made me feel more uneasy than going to war.

I rode York to the town, and had I trouble spotting the crowds. I shook my head, wishing for everyone there to simply disappear. After the night I'd had, I just wanted a day away from everything. So I kept riding. And riding. Until finally, the crowds began to dissipate.

Finally, once we were in a quieter part of town, I slowed York to a steady walk. I breathed in the sunlight, deciding that I much preferred uptown to downtown.

I rode through the streets slowly, speeding up only once when a lady began to chase after me when I picked an apple from her tree. I giggled at the memory as I finished the fruit, discarding the core.

I rode through past the houses slowly, taking the time to drink in the atmosphere as I toured the town. I brought York to a stop, amazed as I came across a house that appeared as though it could house the entire army. I chuckled, fantasizing about one day living there.

A shining pink dress reflected the sun into my eyes and I squinted, trying to see the road in front of me. But then the woman walked into the shade and I rose my eyebrows, hardly believing who it was.

"Angelica Schuyler!" I yelled in jubilant disbelief as York brought me closer to the house.

"Y/N Legrand? What're you doing uptown?" She grinned, rushing over to me.

"I am looking for a mind at work. I 'ave tried the revolution, but it is all out," I joked, "Anyway, it seems I may 'ave just found one."

"I believe you're correct. No finer minds exist across the land." She sighed dramatically as though it was a tragedy, and I laughed. "Now why are you really here?"

"I am escaping," I chuckled as I dismounted York, "The men from my barracks at camp 'ave managed to start a rumor that I slept with one of them."

She groaned, frustrated on my behalf.

"If I were you, I would despise those men."

I sighed.

"You know, I 'ave tried. Somehow, I cannot seem to." I furrowed my brow in mock frustration. She chuckled.

"Do you 'ave any idea where I can find food out here? Any sellers? I 'ave managed to skip both breakfast and lunch." My stomach grumbled, as it was already the afternoon.

"Well, I know there's some great food in there. Excellent cook." She smiled widely and pointed to the mansion behind her.

"And 'ow exactly might one get some of that food?" I raised an eyebrow.

"All you need's an invitation from a Schuyler. And you've just stumbled across the best one." She flipped her hair in jest. My eyes widened.

"You live there!?"

"I do, as a matter of fact. Come in with me; stay for dinner. My family will love you and Eliza and Peggy will be glad to see you again."

"I am not turning down a full meal. If only you could see what we eat in ze army." I huffed, remembering the two pieces of bread I'd had in the past three days.

"Let's go."

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

A. Ham's POV

I groaned, falling back onto my bed. Y/N had been gone all day and Lafayette was bitter at our accusations, refusing to even play cards with us. I was out of my mind with boredom.

"When's Y/N coming back?" Laurens whined, lying on his bed.

"Probably when we stop teasing her." Mulligan chuckled.

"She's so sensitive; I'd be happy to be accused of sleeping with someone."

"Well you're a prick. She's a normal person with feelings that function normally." He rolled his eyes at what I said.

"Hey Laf, when are you going to stop being annoyed?" he yelled over.

"When you stop being annoying, mon amie," Laf replied without so much as looking up.

Laurens groaned again and I chuckled, rolling my eyes. I laid back and shut my eyes, when I heard footsteps suddenly walking across the floor.

"John, what are you doing?" I asked tiredly as he crouched next to Y/N's trunk. He didn't answer me as he grabbed a leather bound book and began unraveling the cord that held it shut.

"John," I warned. I recognized the book as Y/N's journal and wished he would just put it down. I didn't have the energy to stop him from looking through it.

"What's the harm? She's out; she'll never know we read it." He shrugged.

"Do whatever you want, just don't involve me." I rolled onto my side, wishing I could sleep away my headache. I shook my head at him as I heard the weathered pages begin to turn. I turned back over upon hearing a small gasp from him.

"Come here." He turned the page again, appearing awestruck. I raised my eyebrow and slowly walked over to his bed. Looking over his shoulder, I could see the outline of a landscape. The full drawing came into my view as I sat next to him.

It was breathtaking, how she managed to show every curve and every shadow with nothing but ink and a pen. He turned the page, the next holding a drawing of an old oak tree.

Mulligan and Lafayette soon joined us in looking at her art, mesmerized by each landscape or still life. We neared the end of the book, and everything began to have a similar theme; I recognized all of her drawings from downtown.

Until we reached one of the last.

It was a portrait, filled with so much detail that you could practically see the woman there. The flow of her hair, her hard jaw, it just seemed far too familiar. I'd have recognized that face anywhere.

As if on cue, Y/N came strolling in at that exact moment. My blood was boiling as I saw her push the door open.

"Sorry I 'ave been gone so long. I 'ave brought a bag of rolls and sticky buns, though." She dropped her leather sack next to the door, and the others didn't hesitate to start going through it.

"Ugh, Y/N, you're an angel." Herc fished out a roll, hungrily tearing off half of it with his teeth.

I roughly yanked her journal from Laurens's grasp before shoving her against the closed door.

"Ce quis la baise?" she yelled, struggling in my grip.

"Hamilton, calm down. Let her go." Laurens rushed over, his eyes wider than hers.

"Who are you really?" I growled.

"What are you saying about?" She was wearing an expression to match mine: anger tainted only by shock.

She finally succeeded in shoving me off of her, and I simply lifted the journal. She took one look the page before her expression softened, melting into one of horror and apology.

"What've you got to say for yourself?" I clenched my teeth, throwing the book onto Mulligan's bed.

"I 'ave not lied to you." She bit her lip.

"Then how do you explain that?"

She sighed, running her hand through her hair.

"I 'ave been trying to tell you. I swear I 'ave." She hung her head, rubbing her temples. I balled my fists, ready to pounce on her next words. Any yet, I wasn't ready for what she had to say.

She took a deep breath, lifting her head to look me in the eye.

"I am your sister."


	6. Got Money?

"I am your sister."

I released my fists, paralyzed by shock.

How could she be my sister?

I blinked hard, suppressing tears that were pooling up in the corner of my eye. I knew in that moment, if nothing else, I could read on her face that she was telling the truth. I hated her for it.

And another question arose in my mind.

How could she not tell me?

I stared at her, still processing my shock.

I had family left.

"My sister... ?" I took her biting her lip and looking at the floor as confirmation enough; I could see as she was failing to hold back her own tears.

And then it dawned on me.

"The French trader."

I'd heard stories from my mother of a French trader coming from the mainland. Stories of her falling in love with him. To me, the man was no more than a fairytale.

"Mon père," she voiced my thoughts as I backed away from her and crumpled onto the bed behind me. Her voice was shaking; her entire body was shaking. I couldn't bring myself to care. I was trembling under the weight of her words, drawing in shaky breaths in an attempt to stay calm. I tried to push down all the anger I was harboring, but I had never been good at that.

"You're my fucking sister." I silently let the tears fall, glistening as a stream of the sunset cast a glow upon my face. They ran hot as blood, reducing my face to a puffy mess.

I bit my bottom lip, squeezing my eyes shut and trying to process the myriad of emotions that began to hit me all at once, ensnaring my senses and filling my head with a greater anger than I knew I harbored; it was a whirlwind, theiving everything I knew to be true and scattering it across that cabin floor. And finally, I snapped.

"How could you?" I whispered. I stared at my lap, my eyes narrowing to slits as I heard her draw in a shaky breath.

"How could you be the last family I've got and not even care enough to tell me?" My voice rose in a swift crescendo as I raised my head to face her, everything I was feeling pushing the words at her with the force of ten thousand men.

She only stared at the ground, looking as though she was struggling to keep tears in her eyes that were beginning to redden.

"I am sorry. I am so s-sorry."

I scoffed.

"Sorry isn't going to do anything here. Sorry doesn't change the fact that I had to find out about this from Laurens rooting through your book."

"It also does not change the fact zat I tried to tell you, Alex. I really did."

"Oh yeah, and what happened? Did a pack of wild horses come running through?"

She turned bright red.

"No, I just-" she bit her lip, "It was yesterday, when you started talking about... something else."

"Ah, yes! The other thing you kept from us: your relationship with Lafayette."

"We are not in a relationship!" she yelled, and Laf went redder than her as he stood behind her.

"You know what Alex? I could 'ave told you to your face if you 'ad not gone through my private fucking journal. We would not even be in this situation."

I looked into her eyes and saw anger beginning to stir within her.

"And we also wouldn't be in this situation if your father hadn't had an illegitimate child," I snapped.

Her eyes flashed menacingly at my words, and I almost smiled with the satisfaction that my words were getting to her.

"Do not dare to bring my father into this!" She jabbed a shaking finger into my chest, her stare boring into my eyes with her burning anger.

"And why the hell not? The whore came to an island, slept with my mother, then left!" I yelled. She looked as though moments away from slapping me. "That asshole only came back because she was pregnant!"

Her eyes narrowed, and I almost knew what was coming next.

Without missing a beat, she swung her already balled fist at my face and struck me square in the jaw. I was thrown to the side with the force of her blow and grabbed onto the coat hook to my right, trying desperately to stay on my feet.

I pulled myself back up, leaning against the wall and wincing at the sharp stinging in my jaw and the pounding in my head. Her eyes were hardly wide enough to contain the immense shock I could see they held. I swallowed hard; I was practically foaming at the mouth.

I walked slowly towards her, doing everything I could to keep myself from hitting her back, and she began to shrink away from me. Her face was inches from mine, wearing an expression I had never seen on her: pure and undiluted fear.

"Get out of my sight," I hissed. She didn't waste a moment before turning and fleeing our barracks. A lump grew in my throat as I watched her retreating figure disappear from view.

My sister.

I stood rooted to that spot, unable to move. I was shaking. I bit my lip hard, choking back the tears that threatened to spill, that threatened to overcome my demeanor and make me collapse.

"Alex-" John started towards me but I raised a hand to stop him.

"Get some rest, John."

Your POV

I sprinted. I couldn't be in there with them. I knew what I'd done. I also knew I had nowhere to go.

I had to have somewhere.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to focus on figuring out any sort of plan, no matter how bad. It would always be better than having to face them after that. I continued sprinting away and I refused to rest until I was out of their sight. That finally happened when I reached the front of camp and leaned on the thin wooden wall of the stables, trying desperately to catch my breath.

Then it struck me. It was a long shot, but it was worth trying. The worst they could do was say no.

I turned to the stables next to me and threw open the doors before sprinting over to a rearing York.

"'ey, 'ey, settle down boy. It is just me." I reached my hand up to stroke his neck and stilled his trembling body. I walked around to his side to mount him and took off riding.

As I rode out of camp for the second time that day, I knew that nothing that night would be definite.

That was why, after I reached the right house, I nearly cried hugging Eliza when she told me I could stay with them.

"It's nothing, Y/N. Really, come on in."

I nodded as she pulled away from the hug. I wasn't hiding the fact that I was tearing up; Eliza was a blessing.

"Eliza, thank you so much," I whispered.

"Don't worry about it. Angelica and Peggy are upstairs, let me check with Father first. If he says no, just hide in my closet."

I laughed, despite my rough night.

I went back outside to wait for Mr. Schuyler's answer. York stood right where I left him, waiting obediently for me as always. I smiled and walked over to stroke his mane.

"Je t'aime, glaçon," I whispered as I pressed my nose to his. If nothing else, my father's stallion would always be there for me.

"Ms. Legrand?" I heard Mr. Schuyler's voice behind me and winced.

"Oui, monsieur?" I put on an expression of innocent curiosity as I turned to face him.

"Please, come in."

I sighed as I felt the tension melt out of my body. I kissed York's nose after tying him to a fence post in their yard, and proceeded to walk up to the front door of the mansion.

"Now, Ms. Legrand, you're a lovely person and I'd be glad to provide a home for you for the night, but I expect to be present when you explain to my daughters why you need somewhere to stay."

I sighed as I walked into the house.

"Monsieur, in all due respect, I think you might rather not 'ear the story. I worry it would make you think less of not only me but my father as well." I'd heard enough against my father for one night; I didn't need more from him when he learned that I was an illegitimate child.

"Please, Miss Y/N. You have my highest respect from what I know of you already. I doubt this story could do much to ruin that."

I would have bet right there and then that he was wrong.

"If you insist, monsieur. Now please, may I speak with your daughters?"

On cue, Angelica, Eliza, and Peggy came running down the stairs.

"We're here." Eliza grinned at me.

"What could you have possibly done to get yourself kicked out of there?" Angelica muttered to me as she passed on her way to the couch.

"Too much," I muttered back.

They all took seats in their living room, stares fixed on me as though I was the latest show in the opera hall. I sighed and sat down, beginning to mentally prepare myself for their reactions, and then I started.

I started at the very beginning, telling them the story of my parents and how I was an illegitimate child. I couldn't help but wince at Mr. Schuyler's face when I was at that part; he watched me as though I was the one who'd had a scandal. I made sure to note that Alex was my half brother, though I didn't use a name, before continuing on to the story of the past few weeks. I explained to them how I'd been trying to tell him, but never had the chance.

And then I reached that night.

I grimaced as I told them how the men had been looking through my journal and Alex recognized my drawing as his mother. My expression only grew more uncomfortable as I had to recount the entire conversation to them, up until I punched Alexander. I sighed, looking around at their horror-stricken faces.

"And now, I assume, you all think less of me?" I had accepted defeat.

"You actually punched him?" Angelica looked moments away from bursting into a fit of laughter. I nodded.

"Vould you like to see my bruised knuckles?"

She couldn't hold her laughter in anymore and doubled over, not trying to contain the outburst.

"How hard did you hit the poor man?" Mr. Schuyler interjected.

"'ard enough, monsieur. And that explains why I am 'ere, asking you for shelter for just a night. They should all be calm enough tomorrow morning for me to return."

I furrowed my brow, confused at the man's next action. He laughed. I had made many assumptions about him at that point, and that contradicted every single one.

"You're insane, Y/N." Eliza shook her head at me.

"'e insulted my father. I could not just do nothing."

"You take much pride in your family line, Ms. Legrand?" Mr. Schuyler asked. I nodded.

"More than anything, monsieur."

"Then, Miss Y/N, you have earned my unwavering respect. God help the next person who dares insult your family." He sat there, still chuckling, and I gave him a perplexed look.

"Thank you, monsieur?" I wasn't entirely sure how to react.

"You're welcome here anytime."

I nodded. Angelica grinned and ran over to pull me up the stairs, followed by her sisters.

"And Y/N?"

We all stopped halfway up the staircase and turned to look at Mr. Schuyler.

"I expect more stories from camp whenever you visit."

I grinned.

"Of course, monsieur."

Angelica took off the rest of the way up to the girls' rooms and I followed her as she weaved through several extensive hallways, two bedrooms, and what looked like a massive library, before she stopped at a bedroom, pushing the door open.

She pulled me in along with her sisters before bursting once again into giggles.

"You punched someone? I'm not even allowed to laugh aloud in the presence of company," she laughed.

"Is not funny, Angelica." I rolled my eyes which only made her laugh harder.

"Truly, I fucked my entire relationship with my brother."

"Then you shouldn't have punched him!" Eliza looked exasperated as she sat onto Angelica's bed.

"I dunno, it made a pretty great story." Peggy shrugged, shoulders shaking with stifled laughter.

"Shut up, Pegs." I playfully shoved her and sat down with Eliza.

"So your brother, what's he like?" Angelica asked as she and Peggy sat with us.

"Well at zis point, anything but singing his praises would make me seem like an asshole, so I will try to focus on ze positive."

They all chuckled.

"'e is... actually pretty great. 'e is witty, though only when 'e wants to be. You would not know 'ow smart 'e truly was unless 'e wanted you to. Though, make no mistake, 'e is just as egotistical as 'e is smart."

Angelica raised an eyebrow; Peggy just laughed.

"'e is actually rather funny so long as I am including time spent laughing at 'im. 'e will tease people to the brink of insanity, but only out of love."

"He sounds like a good guy." Angelica smiled at my description. I got the feeling he and she would get along well.

"Remember, that was me focusing on 'is good traits." I chuckled.

"He actually sounds a bit like you." Peggy looked at me curiously.

"I would say 'e is a tiny bit like me, though our flaws are not exactly parallel."

"You? Flawed?" Angelica joked and I rolled my eyes.

"Oui, I know it is a shock, but I am, in fact, not perfect after all."

I chuckled along with the three of them, before a long, drawn out yawn escaped me.

"Let me show you to our guest room. It's downstairs and a bit of a walk, but it's a very nice room."

I nodded and followed Angelica down the stairs to a large room, clad all around in beige.

"This is ze guest bedroom?" My mouth hung agape at the regal interior, adorned with long silk curtains and gilded wallpaper.

"It is, in fact," she laughed.

"Now that you know where the room is, would you like to stay upstairs with my sisters and me for the remainder of the evening? We'd enjoy your company."

I pursed my lips.

"I do not know, Angelica. I probably need to get back to camp rather early tomorrow; I should get some sleep."

Her face fell and I creased my forehead, wishing I could stay up all night with them.

"I am sorry, Angie."

"No, it's perfectly fine." She sighed but smiled. "You have to train every day as a soldier, no? It just gets a bit dull, every day here with the same old people."

"You know, you could join ze revolution with me. I am sure General Washington would be more than thrilled to 'ave another soldier enlisted."

She chuckled, shaking her head.

"My father would be ready to kill me if I even brought up such a notion. Just try to visit often?"

I nodded and gave her a warm smile, which she returned before she walked out of the room. She shut the door behind her, and I dropped onto the warm quilt that covered the bed behind me. I pulled off my boots, almost completely the color of the mud, and sighed. They wouldn't be easy to clean off. That was the last thought that crossed my mind before I began to drift off, asleep before I even hit the mattress.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

I was abruptly woken by a knock at the door. I thought at first someone was trying to enter my room, but after a moment I realized that the person was outside of the house altogether. I ran my hand through my hair, trying to make it sit presentably before I answered the door. It was clearly just after dawn, everything outside my window was still asleep aside from the birds twittering about.

I pulled open first the door to my bedroom, and then found why the knock on the front door had woken me so easily. The front door was no more than two feet from my bedroom, and I cursed the Schuylers' floor plan for ruining my sleep. I rolled my eyes at whoever in their right mind was up at the crack of dawn already knocking on doors.

My eyes were no longer rolling, but widening in surprise when I saw who stood on the other side of the door.

"Y/N? Merde, I was so worried." Lafayette cupped my face in his hands and looked as though he was examining it for any signs of me having hurt myself. "Are you alright? Did you get any sleep? Are-"

"Calm down, it is too early for this." I removed his hands from my face.

"Why are you 'ere? And why are you so worried?" I held his arms, trying to make him calm down enough to explain.

"Last night, after you left, some piqûre started ze rumor that redcoats 'ad abducted you off the streets. I was taking a walk around camp, trying to find you, when I heard them talking about it."

I groaned. "Did you really think any of them were right? They think we slept together, for God's sake," I snapped, grumpy from just being woken up.

"I know, but since you 'ad just run off, I did not know where you 'ad gone. I was just worried..." he trailed off, looking down. I sighed.

"Thank you, Laf, but I do not need you to worry for me. 'ow did you find me 'ere anyway?"

His head shot up and he began to talk again. "I went downtown last night to look for you, clearly to no avail, and then after a long time I found Burr sitting on a park bench reading. I asked 'im if 'e 'ad seen you and 'e said no, but 'e seen you with the Schuyler sisters earlier in the week, so I came 'ere."

 

My eyes widened in shock as I realized how disheveled he actually looked.

"My god, were you out all night?"

He nodded, smiling weakly.

"This is easily the stupidest thing you 'ave ever done." I pinched the bridge of my nose, shaking my head. "I appreciate it all ze more, Laf."

I hugged him, grateful to have someone who would spend all night looking for me because of a rumor. He flinched at first, but soon wrapped his arms around me as well. He began to twist a lock of my hair between his forefinger and thumb when I finally pulled away.

"Do you want to come in? Have breakfast with us?" I asked. His arms still rested around my back and fiddled with my unkempt hair.

He didn't meet my eyes.

"Laf?"

"The guys don't know I am 'ere. I left after they were all asleep."

I sighed.

"And you need to get back quickly so they don't know you went to find me?" I finished his thought.

"Y/N, I am sorry-"

"No, no it is alright. Get back to camp. I'll see you later today." I averted my gaze to the ground, rolling a pebble under my foot.

"Y/N," he started.

"Really, it is fine. Leave."

"Look at me, Y/N."

"Laf, I really need you to leave. Everyone's going to be up soon."

He dropped his arms from my back and I raised my head to look at him, though I instantly regretted it. He furrowed his brows, his entire face screwed up into an expression of hurt. I knew that I'd caused it.

"Fine, I'll leave. Goodbye, Y/N." He turned and began to walk away from me, but I caught his arm

"Wait-"

He yanked his arm from my grip.

"Au revoir," he said, looking at me as though I was a stranger.

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair as I watched him mount his horse. He wouldn't meet my eyes; he took off at a full gallop.

I rubbed my temples as I walked back inside the Schuyler mansion. I couldn't help feeling like I'd ruined another relationship with someone I cared about.

I found Eliza sitting at their kitchen table, wearing a smirk. I didn't ask why.

"What was that about?" She took a sip of her coffee, watching me amusedly as I sat down across from her.

"It was... nothing. 'e was just worried."

She nodded, her sly smile growing.

"Okay, why are you smiling like that?" I asked, already feeling defeated by the day.

"Was that one of the men from your barracks? I only heard the beginning of your conversation."

"Yes, what does that 'ave to do with anything?"

She giggled.

"Y/N, why didn't you tell us you were courting someone?"

My face almost instantly turned to a deep red.

"No, no, my god, no." I hid my face in my hands. "No."

When I felt confident that my blush had subsided, I raised my head to look at her. Her smirk had grown.

"We are definitely not courting, Eliza. That was just a friend."

"Come on, Y/N. You can't get anything past me. Just wait till I tell Angelica and Peggy." She wiggled her eyebrows at me and I groaned.

"Just wait until they realize you are wrong."

"You say that as though I am."

I rolled my eyes. She would be the death of me.

"Whatever, Eliza. I need to get to camp. Tell them I said goodbye." I motioned up to the room above us.

"I'll be sure to include everything I heard from your conversation out there too." She winked, giggling, and I rolled my eyes once more.

"Thanks you again for letting me stay 'ere, Eliza," I said as I walked to the front door and out of the mansion.

"'ey." I walked over to where York stood, exactly where I'd left him. I stroked his nose, coaxing him out of his state of sleep. He whinnied softly.

"I know, I am tired too. Let us go, big guy." I mounted him but only brought him to a slow walk down the cobblestone streets of town. I was in no rush to get back to camp.

After what could have been an hour, I reached the point where the paved stone streets turned into the unkempt dirt roads of camp. I sighed as I finally had to tie York back up at the stables, preparing for a very unpleasant day at camp.

I walked back to my barracks with my head held high despite my demeanor. I was prepared for their anger; I was prepared for tension hanging thick in the air.

What I wasn't prepared for as I opened the door, though, was nothing. No words, hostile or otherwise, no actions, no acknowledgement of my existence whatsoever.

I frowned as I sat onto my bed and pulled out a book, hoping to pass time to the best of my ability. Luckily, my efforts were not necessary for long when a small, nervous-looking man entered our barracks. All heads turned to look at him; he appeared to be shaking.

"I c-come with a message from the General." Hamilton's ears perked up at that, but I just frowned.

"Yes?" Alex prompted him to continue.

"I-It's for a Y/N Legrand?"

I sighed heavily. Couldn't the world leave me alone for a day?

"Oui, I am she."

"You're to see him i-immediately. H-he says his reasons are classified." He quickly bowed before rushing back out the door. Alex scowled behind me, and I couldn't help but resent him. It wasn't as though I had asked for a meeting with General Washington.

I stood and walked back down the dirt roads to Washington's cabin. My knocking on the tall wooden door was met with a 'come in,' not to mention from an exhausted voice. I furrowed my eyebrows before entering the building. When I reached the end of his hall, I found him nearly collapsed on his meeting table.

"Y/N, thank God. I'm sorry you have to see me like this." He rubbed his temples, leaning on the table. He looked utterly exhausted. The dark bags under his eyes hung heavier than ever; his coat was cast carelessly aside.

"It is fine, sir. What do you need?" I slowly took a seat in the chair opposite him.

"I have something to ask you. Don't answer right away; please, let me explain the situation first."

I furrowed my brow and shifted in my seat, uneasy, as I was clueless about where he was going with that.

"Okay, sir?"

He took a deep breath and folded his hands on the table before looking me in the eye and asking, "Y/N, would you be willing to..."


	7. Modern Major-General

"Y/N, would you be willing to take the position of major-general? And before you agree, let me make sure you know what you're undertaking."

I frowned. The news seemed exciting, but his downcast demeanor told me that whatever was to come would be less than pleasant.

"As major-general, you would be in command of an entire division. You've proven to have an incredible talent for battle strategy."

Every second he paused as he delivered his news began to feel like an hour as anticipation consumed me.

"This training camp is going to war in hardly over one week's time, and I need more leadership. It's been nearly a year since I promoted Lee before the battle of Monmouth, and that didn't quite turn out as well as I'd hoped. I ended up having to promote your friend Lafayette in his place." He chuckled at the memory. He cleared his throat as he glanced back at me, seeing my concerned expression.

"The only issue with this whole situation is your gender."

My mouth hung slightly agape, and indignation was plastered all across my face as he uttered those words. It was beyond me that I could have spent the last few months talking through battle strategy with General Washington and training alongside his troops and somehow was still seen as less than the men there.

"Now don't get me wrong, everything you're doing for our army is outstanding. What I haven't told you, though, is that I have you enlisted without Congress' approval. They don't know you exist," he began to slightly grimace as he continued, "and trust me when I say they wouldn't exactly be thrilled to have a female soldier, let alone a major general."

Congress can kiss my ass, I thought, though I couldn't do anything about it except maintain the scowl that sat on my face.

"So now what? I am sure you 'ad a reason for calling me here other than to tell me I cannot be a major general." I raised my eyebrows at him, trying to stay patient. I just had to remind myself that this wasn't his fault, and that I could release my anger later in a strongly-worded letter to the Continental Congress.

"Yes, of course. I'd like you to take the position anyway." He nodded.

"But Congress-"

"Just listen," he took a deep breath, "I suppose there's no way to put this except bluntly, but I need you to disguise yourself as a man."

For a moment all I could do was stare at him. My expression instantly contorted to one of complete shock. Though my list of guesses for what he would ask was at least a mile long, that was not on it, and I would almost have thought that it was an elaborate hoax.

But I knew who I was speaking with.

I could do nothing more than stare at him; I was far too stunned.

"Y/N, I know this must come as a shock."

"You could say that," I muttered bitterly.

"And I know that this is far from ideal, but please, hear me out," he finished. I eyed his weary expression with annoyance, and though I knew it was misplaced, I couldn't bring myself to care. Nonetheless, considering that this was the general, I couldn't just say no.

"I am listening." I folded my arms with a huff.

"Y/N, when you joined the army, you knew the danger you would be exposed to. You knew that every day you would risk life and limb to fight for our independence. You knew that you would have to sacrifice your life at home with your family, to sacrifice all the comforts that came with it."

My hard jaw softened at the mention of my family. What was Mémé doing right now? What about Nael? Likely still asleep, the lazy-

"After everything you've given up, I need you to give up just one last thing—your identity."

His words pulled me from my safe thoughts of home, and I sighed. "Sir, I do not know that I can do that."

"Kid-"

"With all respect, General Washington, I am not a child, so please do not call me that," I said through gritted teeth.

"Sorry, Y/N, I just-" he swallowed hard, considering how to phrase his thoughts, "I don't feel like I've impressed upon you the importance of this position."

I quirked up an eyebrow, prompting him to continue.

"Having you as a major-general could be crucial to the future of the army. In the end, you might be all we need to win the war."

"General Washington, I am flattered, but I do not think-"

"But I do. I do think that without you, winning is beyond a possibility. Now, of course, I'm not going to make you take the position, but I want you to understand why I need you to." He sighed, looking over at me with tired but hopeful eyes, and I thought about everything he'd done for the army. It had been years, and he'd been here since the start, risking life and limb for the simple notion of a nation this could become. I felt I owed it to him to do everything I could to help.

"I will do it."

He let out a sigh or relief. "Thank you. I can't tell you how glad I am to hear it. You're dismissed."

"That is it? No briefings or anything? I am just a major-general now?" I furrowed my brow in confusion.

"You'll learn everything you need to throughout this week, and if you have any questions beyond that, you can ask either me or Lafayette. I would prefer the latter, as I am often busy, and anyway, you seem to have taken a liking to him," he said with a wink, and my eyes widened.

"Excuse me?"

"Just because I'm the general doesn't mean rumors from camp don't reach me, Y/N." He hummed. "I've been told that the men from your barracks are having a betting pool on how long it takes you to get together."

"From wh-" I began, but cut myself off as it struck me. "Alex," I muttered angrily. "General Washington, I assure you nothing 'as 'appened between me and Lafayette, and Alexander is utterly delusional."

"You don't need to hide it from me. I fully support my two major-generals getting hitched."

My mouth hung slightly agape, and I could feel the dark blush that was creeping onto my cheeks. "You said I was free to go?"

"I certainly did."

I didn't say another word before standing up and getting out of there. That meeting had left me with just two things—a difficult week of training ahead of me, and another reason to be irritated with Alex.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

Five steps.

That was all it took to fire a musket.

Five steps that have to be repeated, refined, and practiced until they can be done in the most efficient manner possible. Failure could cost you your life.

I cursed as I fumbled with the packet, nearly spilling the gunpowder all over the ground. I poured the powder into the gun and stuck the rest of the packet containing the musket ball down the barrel of the gun. I quickly pulled the ramrod out and dropped it down the barrel before returning it to its holder. Finally, I fired on the target that sat across the field from me.

Seventeen and a half seconds.

I groaned in utter frustration as I could feel myself getting slower. It terrified me; those extra few seconds would more than likely have a cost.

I threw the musket back against the bench and sat down next to it, nearly tearing out my hair in frustration. I had been told countless times that when I went to battle, my training would take over. I didn't know how well that would work when my average reload time had gone up by six seconds.

"Not your fastest reload, I assume?" A voice came from behind me that I recognized well.

"Mhm." I didn't turn to face him as he sat next to me.

"You alright?" I could feel Alexander staring into the side of my head, but I didn't want to face him. He sighed when he got no response whatsoever.

"Y/N." I hadn't the faintest clue why he was even out there, but only raised an eyebrow and looked at him when I felt something being wrapped snugly around my shoulders. I gave him a somewhat confused look as I saw the blanket covering me.

"You're turning blue; you can't stay out here in the cold."

"Since when are you talking to me?" I asked bitterly, fixing my stare on the ground as I crunched the frosted grass under my toe, and he sighed. His hand ran through his hair and he accidentally worked free his ponytail.

"It's time I swallowed my pride."

I raised an eyebrow, prompting him to continue.

"Well, about a week ago, I kinda overreacted." It only took that long for me to cut him off.

"Non, non. Your reaction was completely merited. I deserved it, and you know how sorry I am."

"Just listen." He raised his eyebrows at me, asking for confirmation that I wouldn't interrupt. I nodded.

"Okay, so a week ago, I kinda overreacted. A week and one day ago, when you told me, I think I was kinda right to react how I did."

And at that point, I was back to far from sure why he was out there with me.

"Nevertheless, I shouldn't have said those things about your family, and I shouldn't have treated you the way I have been."

I sighed but stayed silent, unsure of what to say. But he was still expecting a response, and raised an eyebrow at the blatant lack of one.

"So... I'm sorry, I guess is what I'm trying to say? C'mon, it really sucks not talking to you. We all miss your company."

I scoffed, "You missed me? Imagine being the one who 'as all of 'er friends ignoring her."

He cringed, looking up. "Yeah, that's kinda most of what I'm sorry about. But please, just come inside. We all miss you."

"Alex, I completely forgive you, but yet I cannot come inside. I am training, remember how that was what you interrupted?" I motioned to the musket that laid against the bench, and then looked back at him. He was frowning.

"Really, Y/N? It's sundown and freezing. I think you can handle taking a break for the night."

My jaw dropped slightly, as I was both amused and indignant at his attitude.

"Excuse me? Am I 'onestly 'earing this from the same person who stays up all night every night writing?" I raised an eyebrow, but smiled as he chuckled.

"Okay, you've got me there. So how about this, I won't write at all tonight if you stop training." He folded his arms, a smug grin resting on his face, before adding, "Anyway, why the sudden interest in training? A little more than a week ago you couldn't have cared less."

Which made me crumple my face into a grimace, as we had reached the taboo subject.

"Oh, I do not know. I mean, I guess it is only matters of time before we go to war, and I would want to be ready."

I thought he was going to accept my lie, but then his eyebrows shot up.

"Really? You're lying about this?"

"I am not!" I defended, taken aback.

"You're chewing your lip, which is body language that suggests nervousness or anxiety, and if you weren't lying you would have no reason to be nervous." He folded his arms, knowing he'd caught me. And I hadn't even realized I'd been chewing my lip.

"'ow do you do that?" I shook my head at him, stunned.

"Don't change the subject. Why lie about that?"

"It is complicated."

"How complicated could it be?"

I creased my forehead. I knew now that he could read my lies with ease, so that wasn't an option. And if I simply said I couldn't tell him, he would never drop the subject. That left me with one option: telling him.

I took a deep breath, before avoiding telling him for as long as I could manage. Which proved not to be for very long.

"Alex, before I tell you, I need you to answer me something."

He nodded, shifting to look into my eyes seriously.

"Would I make a good army commander? And I need your complete honest."

His eyes widened, as he once again read me like a book.

"That's what your meeting with Washington was about!" he exclaimed. My jaw dropped again.

"'ow the 'ell...?"

"Oh please. You started training non-stop after your meeting with him, which I was planning on bringing up later if you didn't tell me, and then you go and ask me that. With that information, you may as well have come right out and told me." A smirk filled his face as anxiousness filled mine.

"To be clear, I neither confirm or deny that, but if it were true, you would resent me?" I cringed as I waited for an answer.

"Resent you?" he looked completely dumbfounded that I would think such a thing, though I didn't think it was such an absurd question. I nodded slowly, hoping he would answer. "How could I ever resent my baby sister for getting a promotion?"

"Do not call me that," I quickly cut him off.

"Why not?" He cocked an eyebrow in curiosity.

"Just, something with my brother. The other one, not you. Unimportant. You were saying?" I waved away his concerns, and he gave me a suspicious look but continued.

"Anyway..." He cleared his throat, "So you were promoted?"

I nodded slowly, a timid smile resting on my lips.

"That's amazing! What's your position?" He bounced in his seat, excitement evident in his expression.

"A major-general?"

His eyes widened as I grinned nervously.

"You're fucking kidding. You know this means you have the same rank as Laf? You're like, third in command."

"To be 'onest, I did not know that Lafayette outranked me until I spoke to General Washington." I chuckled.

"This is great! We have to go celebrate!" He grabbed my arm and tried to tug me with him to our barracks, but I stood rooted to my spot.

"Alex, there's a detail that I've sworn not to disclose, 'ell, I sworn not to disclose any of this, but it makes it a little bit less exciting." I cringed as I pulled him back down to sit next to me.

"You swore not to disclose this and then came here and told me? Y/N, not a great start as major-general," he lectured me.

"Shut up and listen to me, asshole." I yanked him down to the bench next to me, and his eyes widened as he realized how serious I suddenly was.

"Okay, so there is a catch to this seemingly great situation."

He furrowed his brow as my cringe became a grimace.

"Apparently, we cannot 'ave a female major-general, so in essence, I 'ave to disguise myself as a man."

I sighed as he yelled, "Bullshit!"

"Calm down. It is not ideal, but I 'ave made peace with it. Just... pray you will be assigned to the division run by a Major-General Levi King."

His indignant expression faded to one of near amusement. "Your fake name is Levi King? A bit ironic, no?"

I grinned. "I thought so."

"And that's why you chose it?" A somewhat proud smile played at his lips, and I couldn't help but grin as well.

"Exactly."

"Well, Major-General King, this might not be ideal, but still merits celebration, don't you think?" He had circled back to excitement, and I sighed.

"I would say yes, but I am telling you all of this in complete confidence. You cannot tell a soul, including Laurens, Mulligan, and Lafayette."

"You're asking me to lie to them?" He nearly cringed, and I sighed.

"Not lie, necessarily, but not disclose this? I am only asking you to keep a secret." He still looked unsure, and I caved slightly, "If any of them are assigned to my division, I promise to tell them, right?"

He considered it for a moment, before agreeing.

"Okay. But not even a word of your promotion can make it to them otherwise?" he asked hesitantly.

"Yes, Alex. I need you to promise me." I looked him in the eye, my expression hard.

"You have my word."

I let out a breath that I felt like I'd been holding since I told him.

"Thank you." I grinned and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into a bone-crushing hug, before pulling away and saying, "Oh, right, and as long as we are on the subject of my meeting with Washington, I 'ave a feeling that it is you who 'as been feeding him lies about me and Lafayette?"

A mischievous grin began to grow on his face as he realized what I was talking about. "Oh come on, Y/N, those are far from being lies."

"I absolutely, genuinely, 'ate you, Alex."

"No you don't," he said with a smug grin "So, we're good? You aren't mad?" He raised his eyebrows and offered me a handshake as a truce.

"Oh I am still mad, just not about the same thing as before." I folded my arms and just stared at his hand hovering in midair.

"Great, you aren't mad. So, come inside?"

I groaned, "Did not we just discuss this? Je m'entraîne." I flicked my hands at him, shooing him away, but he didn't take a single step back.

"Y/N, you're going to freeze; it's past sundown. Just come inside."

"Non." I didn't feel like putting up with an argument, so I just turned away to grab my musket and stand up, but he darted up from his seat and reached it first.

"Alex." I folded my arms, already annoyed.

"I'll take this inside for you." He smiled and began to walk the opposite direction towards our barracks. I huffed, grabbing his arm to stop him.

"Alex," I whined, "Give me the musket."

"Y/N, stop training," he mocked my voice, sticking his lip out in a pout.

"Non!"

"Then no."

He turned around and I sighed, acknowledging how determined he truly was. But I knew I couldn't walk away from my training at such a low point.

"'ow about a deal," I challenged, folding my arms.

"I'm intrigued." He chuckled and turned around to look at me.

"I take another shot, just one more, and then I go inside without complaint."

He pursed his lips, feigning deep thought, which prompted no more than an eye roll from me. A dramatic one, at that.

"And why should I trust that you will actually come inside?" he challenged.

"I will sit out 'ere all night in the cold if you do not give me that gun right now," I snapped, "You'll take my deal."

He raised his eyebrows at my sudden aggressiveness, though we both knew it was in jest.

"Well excuse me," he laughed before tossing me the musket. I smiled in satisfaction and caught it effortlessly in mid air.

"Remember though, just one shot."

I nodded as I stood in front of the target, slinging the bag of ammunition over my shoulder.

"I'll time you, since you're so worked up about it."

"And of course, that does not making me feel pressured at all. Thanks, Alex." I gave him a sarcastic smile before getting ready to start.

When I began making my way through the motions of loading the gun, everything felt like it had never before. I was filled with a newfound confidence, a sudden burst of agility that ensnared every muscle in my body.

When I fired across the field, it felt as though I hadn't been the one who sent the musket ball driving into that target. I felt like something of an onlooker in my own life.

So much that I almost didn't hear when Alex recounted my time to me.

"What?" I whipped around, desperate to know.

"Eleven and a half seconds. Honestly, one of the best times I've heard of." He grinned, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he walked over to me. "And I'm not just saying that because I've been an asshole."

"Thanks, Alex," I laughed, "Now do what you will with this. Keep it away from me." I handed him the musket, which he gladly yanked from my grip.

"I'm keeping it with me." He hoisted the large gun over his shoulder as we began to walk back.

"You don't trust even the slightest that I will not go looking for it if you 'ide it?"

"Do you even have enough self control to not go looking for it?"

"You never know unless you let me try."

He rolled his eyes, seeing as that was blatantly untrue. We did both know that I had far from enough self control not to go looking for the musket, and so I accepted that I wasn't getting it back.

Alex kicked open the door for no reason other than to make a grand entrance, and I pinched the bridge of my nose, sighing as he walked in with a smug grin.

"I convinced her to come inside. Pay up, assholes."

"You made a bet?!" My jaw dropped and I stared at him in disbelief as several shillings were handed to him. I was met only with sheepish grins, and I shook my head before sitting down. "You are all genuinely ze worst."

Despite my words, being back to talking and laughing with them that night was the best part of my week.

We stayed up far later than we knew we should have, especially considering the fact that we had training tomorrow, but it felt, at that time, that the next day would never come. That we would all sit and happily play poker for the rest of our days. It must have been long past midnight when Alex fell asleep, rolling into John's lap.

"Aaand there go my poker chips." We all stared at the little discs that had been scattered across the bed by Alex's hair.

"I think that is a sign that we need to get some sleep. God knows Alex does." I smiled at John's pink face as he looked down at Alex.

"That's for sure. Can you guys pack up the cards? I'm not exactly in a great position to." We chuckled and I nodded before reaching for the cards.

"You can wake him up and move him, y'know," Herc pointed out, raising an eyebrow.

"I mean, I would, but he's hardly slept all week, I think I'll just let him stay." John gave us a weak smile, absentmindedly stroking Alex's hair, which made Herc and me share a confused look.

"Are you being sure? Because I can-" I began to offer, but he cut me off.

"It's fine. He can stay." He said it almost too quickly, then forcing a smile, and we decided not to press the matter.

"Okay," we both said slowly, and I asked, "John, where do your cards go?" I stood up after grabbing the last few cards and taking Herc's pile.

"Right in that corner over there? Can you see where I'm pointing?" John attempted to point to God knows where, nearly contorting himself into an impossible position.

"I will just leave them by the foot of your bed."

"Noooo," he pouted, sticking out his bottom lip, "They'll get all messed up."

"Your fault for letting Alex sleep on you." Herc and I both chuckled as Alex rolled over, wrapping his arms around John's waist and nuzzling his face into his stomach. John went bright red.

"Just go to sleep already," he mumbled as we both burst out in quiet giggles, but still obliged.

"Night, guys." Herc curled into his sheets.

"Night."


	8. Unaligned

I didn't sleep that night. I tossed and turned, held my pillow down over my head, and went through a cycle of taking my socks off and putting them back on, but not for one second did I fall asleep. My mind was elsewhere, too preoccupied to let me slip into unconsciousness for the night, and eventually it wasn't worth trying.

I heaved my blanket over my shoulders and slid on shoes before walking out of the small room, stopping by Herc's bed to steal what was left of his whiskey.

The chill that ran down my spine as I walked outside wasn't unwelcome in the least; it was a nice change from the stuffy barracks. Everything just felt so much more crisp, more fresh. Walking out the door felt like a new beginning.

The sky was clear, the night silent, and I wanted nothing more than to stargaze as I had so many times in the past. As I climbed the side of the building, using the windowsill as a stepstool, I noticed a snoring Frenchman sprawled out where I'd planned to sit.

I decided not to wake him, but sighed at the fact that I still wasn't alone. The only spot that was open was past him, so I crept across the flat roof, and just when I thought I was home free, the toe of my boot caught his chin.

He snapped upwards, and in a fluid motion, caught the boot that hovered over his head and yanked it forward, sending my face plunging into the roof.

He had stood and appeared ready to fight, when I mumbled, "I just came out here for some peace and quiet; is that too much to ask?"

His eyes flew open, as they had been narrowed in his aggressive stance, and he rushed to help me.

"Y/N! Je suis vraiment désolé, mon amour." He sounded panicked and tried to help me up, but I waved away his attempts.

"Ça va, Laf. But if you do not stop calling me amour, I might 'ave to kill you in your sleep," I grumbled as I lifted myself to a sitting position. He chuckled, seeing as if I was alright enough to make death threats, everything was normal.

"Sorry, amie." He smiled sheepishly as he took a seat next to me.

"Sure you are." I rolled my eyes, chuckling.

"Non, I truly am!" he defended, giving me a playfully offended smile, "You are the first I 'ave met who does not like it. I mean, I call most women that, and they are alright with it, so it 'as become habit."

"What?" I dropped my jaw in mock offense, bringing a hand to my heart, "You mean I am not special? I thought I was your one and only." A dramatic sigh left my lips, and he laughed.

"Would you rather I call you amour and no one else?" he teased.

"Laf," I groaned, glaring.

"Only joking, mon amie."

"Much better."

We both chuckled before a peaceful silence settled over us. It was nice, until I heard a shaky exhale from Lafayette as he shuddered.

"Merde, you are cold. I, uh, would you like my blanket?" I grimaced at my words, and he smiled.

"That would be nice." He scooted over next to where I sat before lifting the blanket over him, and my breath hitched as I could feel his body heat radiating off of him. I swallowed hard.

"Laf, you know you can just take the blanket, right? You do not need to share it with me." I raised an eyebrow at him, biting my lip, and he just shrugged after looking down at me.

"Non. Then you would get cold," he protested.

"It is impossible to get cold with a 'eart as cold as mine," I joked, though the air was beginning to prick my skin, giving me goosebumps.

"Should not that mean we should try to make your 'eart warm?" he challenged, a smug look adorning his face.

"Alright, alright, we share ze blanket." I raised my hands in mock surrender and chuckled.

"So what were you doing out 'ere asleep on the roof?" I watched as he tipped his head back with a sigh, leaning on his arms as he stared at the sky.

"I needed to think; I 'ave some thoughts that need to be sorted."

"Like what?" I raised an eyebrow as I examined his expression. His profile was silhouetted in the moonlight, looking as though traced with a strand of silver. His brow furrowed, and my curiosity was further aroused.

"It is... unimportant. I would not want to scare you."

I groaned and bumped his shoulder with mine.

"Come on, Laf. You can tell me; I will be your confidante, oui?" I smiled up at him and he chuckled, turning to face me.

"You really want to know?" A weary smile rested on his face, and he laughed again as I nodded.

"Alright, but do not say I did not warn you."

I furrowed my brow as he suddenly began to look grim. His shoulders went slack; he chewed his lip and narrowed his eyes. I internally grimaced, seeing as when it came to emotions, I hadn't the slightest clue how to help. All I could do was raise my eyebrows and anticipate what was yet to come.

"A little over a week ago, General Washington informed me that we were going to war soon."

"Did 'e say specifically when?" I cut him off before he could continue voicing his concerns, and he nodded.

"Oui, a week after 'e found another major-general. But I do not know when that will happen, so it could be any time from a day to a month."

I sharply inhaled. I was dying to tell him about my conversation with Washington, to warn him that it would only be a day or two, but I was sworn to secrecy.

"Though, I 'ave no concern about time. I am more worried about leaving you all." He turned away once more, leaving my staring at his moonlit features.

"Last time I was at war, I met our friends through being stationed together. Now, though, everyone at our training ground will be scattered. To think I might not be with you," he swallowed hard before continuing, "with any of you, it scares me more than going into battle."

On a whim, I reached out to lace my fingers into his. He tensed up at first as I took his hand in mine, but quickly relaxed.

"It should not being such a scary thought," I looked down at my feet when he rested his hand in his lap, mine still in it. It sent a sort of warm buzzing feeling through me that made my heart beat at a rate I wouldn't have thought safe.

"We can always write," I finished lamely, holding my breath as his thumb ran up and down the palm of my hand.

"It is not the same, you know?" He sighed and I nodded in agreement.

"I cannot solve your problems, but I 'ave something that can lessen the hurt," I offered. He raised an eyebrow and I grinned as I reached for Herc's whiskey.

"'ercules is going to hate us in the morning," Lafayette warned, but I popped it open anyway.

"We both have things weighing on our minds; we need the drinks." I wasted no time in bringing the bottle to my lips and smiling as it tickled my throat, just hardly burning.

"Oh? What's weighing on your mind?" He grabbed the whiskey from me before I could drain even half the bottle.

"Hé, give me that," I grumbled, trying to reach past him and grab the drink from his hand.

"Non, not until you answer my question." He smiled smugly down at me, and I sighed before drawing back to sit next to him. He placed the bottle on the edge of the roof.

"I just... things in general." I sighed inaudibly as I leaned back on my hands next to him.

"Oh? What part of 'things in general'?" He gave me a questioning look and all I did was shrug, afraid that if I were to meet his eyes the words would spill from my lips.

"Mon amo-" he took a deep breath, "amie, you know you can tell me what it is. S'il vous plaît?" As he spoke, his fingertips caught my chin and he slowly turned my head so I was looking into his eyes. I met his analytical gaze, and my breath hitched. I couldn't help but notice the way the darkness hung from his creased brow and pursed lips, and soon caught myself staring, drowning in him.

"Laf, I-I really cannot. I would, but I cannot. Je suis désolé. Can we drop it?" I winced as his face fell with hurt, and he turned away.

"Bien sûr, but just know that I am going to worry about you until you tell me." He gave me a weak smile and I matched it, rolling my eyes.

"Je vais bien, I promise."

He turned his head again and our eyes met as my hand rested on his.

"You sure?"

"I am sure."

"Then I will drop it."

I gave him a small smile, which he returned, and squeezed his hand, before glancing away from him, back towards the night sky. Bright stars swarmed every bit of the sky all down to the horizon, all burning brightly, but at the same time completely differently; they all just felt like they served a different purpose in the sky. It was beautiful, a harmony of light that danced from the hills to the clouds.

Lafayette seemed to notice my staring, and I looked back to him with a sheepish smile when I heard him chuckle. I couldn't help the blush that rose into my cheeks as I saw how he was staring at me; it was an expression of complete adoration. Regardless, I didn't quite understand why my blush was there.

"Do you 'ave a favorite?" he asked.

"Sorry?" I had been so caught up in attempting to read his expression that I hadn't been paying attention to his words.

"Just, do you 'ave a favorite star, or maybe constellation?" He shrugged and I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"What are constellations?" I chuckled; the word felt obscure rolling off my tongue. His eyes widened, and he adopted a look of deep offense.

"How can you truly love the stars but not even know what a constellation is?" he gasped.

"Are you going to sit there criticizing me or tell me what it is?" I shot him a playful glare and he just chuckled before starting to talk.

"A constellation is a group of stars that forms a shape. Like, look right up there, see?" I raised a skeptical eyebrow but looked up to where he was pointing, and instantly frowned.

"What am I supposed to be seeing?"

He chuckled, and said, "See those three stars in a line? Ze really bright ones?"

I tried to see where he was pointing but failed miserably.

"Non."

"Try to look from where I am seeing them."

I sighed and leaned into him, catching his strong, constant scent of bonfires, but on that day he also held an undertone of sage, and I smiled at the sense. Though my happiness shot to anxiety as he wrapped his arm around me to show me where he was looking, and my mind began running a mile a minute.

Why does he smell so good?

Merde, he's warm. I never want to move.

Jesus fuck he's really close to me.

Shit, that's his face. Shit shit shit; it's right next to mine.

I can feel his breath; shit, why am I getting chills? My heart should not be beating this fast, oh fuck.

"Does that make sense?" he asked, looking me in the eye, and it was only then that I realized he had been explaining something to me. Even then, I could only focus on his lips just inches from mine.

"I... uh..."

"You still do not see it?" he groaned and I smiled sheepishly and shrugged. As he sighed, I chuckled and turned to the sky, when a pair of hands grabbed my waist. My breath caught in my throat as I realized that Lafayette had moved me to his lap.

"What are you doing?" I laughed, and he grinned back at me.

"Trying to help you see this from my point of view. Now, see where I am pointing?" My eyes followed his fingers with ease to a chain of three bright stars in the middle of the sky.

"Those are part of Orion, and just to the left of that is Taurus, one of my favorites." I could feel his grin in his cheeks as he rested his chin on my shoulder and murmured in my ear.

"And why might that be a favorite of yours?" I mused, turning to him with a grin.

"Ah, I wish there were a story, Mademoiselle Legrand, but it is just simply because I think it is beautiful when stars align." A faraway look filled his face as he sighed, and I had to suppress a giggle.

"It is indeed a wondrous sight, Monsieur Lafayette," I chuckled, "and I must ask, where on earth did you learn such things about ze constellations?" As I asked that, I was no longer joking. My pompous tone may have been ridiculous and overdone, but I genuinely wanted an answer; I was curious about his past.

"I went to a somewhat upper-class school in France. Needless to say, I did not enjoy it."

"I do not think that is quite so needless, actually." I shrugged and he raised an eyebrow, chuckling.

"Really? You do understand that you are talking to someone who was raised on a farm, correct?"

"And yet you 'ad a fancy education?" I folded my arms, cocking an eyebrow, and he sighed.

"The education was before and after my father died at war and my mother went off to Paris without me." He scowled and I chewed my lip, not wanting to fill the silence, and not knowing how. He began to lose himself in bitter thought, and I reached for his hand once again. He not only took my hand, but also took my other and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I am alright though. She and my grandmother died when I was thirteen, leaving me incredibly wealthy. I may 'ave been an orphan, but I was a rich orphan."

"Wait, 'ow was the education before and after your mother went off to Paris, considering you grew up on a farm?" I finally processed what he had said earlier, and knit my brows in confusion.

"Ah, so I was in formal schooling until age five, when my mother left, and then when she died I used 'er inheritance to go to university."

I nodded slowly. "And I assume you learned about the constellations at university?"

"Oui, I studied everything I could. The stars, battle strategy, and English were all I managed to master, though."

"No offense, but I would not call you a master of English," I chuckled.

"Oh? And why not?"

I cleared my throat, attempting an imitation of his deep voice, "How you say, Thursday bull? Thursday bull at talking?"

He cocked an eyebrow, and I breathed a sigh of false realization. "Ohhhh, terrible. I am Lafayette and I am terrible at talking English."

A look of faux indignation did nothing to mask his grin. "You 'ave no right to criticize my English when you are French as well."

"Oui, but I was raised speaking both English and French. I can sound like the people in the colonies if necessary."

"So can I!" he protested, and I sighed. Then he proceeded to prove that he could certainly not. "I am from the colonies. Revolution! Beer! Kill the king!"

I doubled over laughing instantly. "Is that really 'ow you view the people from here? And also, your accent is awful." I shook my head, turning away from him, and he chuckled.

"I was rather proud of it."

I rolled my eyes as he looked down. "If it is any comfort, your French accent is beautiful."

"Everything about me is beautiful. That goes without saying." A smirk filled his face, coaxing a chuckle from me, but I also felt my face heating up. In that moment, I became exceedingly aware of the fact that I was still on his lap and that his hands still rested on my waist.

"You are such a dork," I murmured, fixing my gaze on my feet.

"Oui, but I am your favorite dork."

"If that is what you need to 'ear, then yes, you are."

I felt his grin in his cheeks as he rested his chin on my shoulder, watching the stars. I leaned slightly back into his embrace as my gaze wandered as well up to the night sky, as did my mind.

"Hé, Laf?" I asked, frowning slightly in thought.

"Oui?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Fire away, amour."

I shifted to glare at him, and as he met my gaze he cringed.

"Amie. I meant to say amie."

I could feel his heart rate quicken in his chest against my back, and I sighed, turning again away from him.

"Anyway, what is France like?" I bit my lip as fantasies of the country began to fill my head. "I 'ave only 'eard stories from one person, and 'e only ever lived in Paris."

I could feel his stare in the side of my head, and I swallowed hard. I couldn't tell how he was looking at me, but his next words made it clear that it was with confusion. "You mean you 'ave never been?"

"Non, mon père moved to the colonies with my grandparents as a child. I 'ave maintained the accent because I grew up around them." I shrugged and he nodded in thought.

"That explains why your English is so much better than mine."

"It also explains why my American accent is so much better," I teased.

He gasped slightly, pouting. "Your words 'urt me, Y/N."

"Aw, do you want me to kiss it better?" I mocked his pout, and his face broke into a grin.

"Oui!" he exclaimed, causing me to double over laughing. When I had straightened back up, he was grinning, and all I could do was roll my eyes.

"Can you stop being a douche for one second and answer my question?" I laughed.

"Alright, alright. France is... everything you could dream of it being." His grin faded into a small smile, a faraway look taking its place on his face. "And so, so, so much more."

"That much more? It needs three 'so's?" I chuckled.

"Oui! My university was in Paris, and it was ze most beautiful place in ze world. Sweet smells wafting from small cafes, extensive lush gardens, cobblestone roads." He inhaled deeply, beginning to lose himself in the memory. "Cool mornings, warm evenings when sleep never feels necessary."

I watched him with a small smile, adoring his expression as his face lit up, eyes swimming with nostalgia.

"And?" I prompted.

"'And'?" he echoed, confused at what I wanted him to tell me.

"And what about the nights? The stars, the moon," I grinned, "the constellations?"

"Ze nights are more lovely than anything you will see in the colonies. There is a market square abandoned at night, and I remember every night I would sneak out of university and sit in the little square flooded with moonlight, a clear view of everything around."

"That really does sound beautiful," I whispered, and his face lit up once again, an idea striking him.

"You must come see France! When the war is over, of course."

I sighed, "I do not know, Laf. My father recently passed, and I do not think I would 'ave the means to get there."

"Then I will take you!" My eyebrows shot up as he grabbed my hands in excitement. "Please, amour, come with me to France. I can show you ze world! Well, ze country."

I chuckled, ignoring the fact that he had again referred to me as 'love'. "You will take me to France? Be my guide?"

"Tojours, mon amour. I would be thrilled."

"I am going to 'ave to make you promise now, just in case you 'ate me for some reason by then." I grinned, and he mirrored it.

"I promise to take you if you promise to let me be your guide."

"I promise."

"Then I do as well."

As I turned back to the sky, I couldn't tell what was brighter--the stars or my grin.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

I awoke to Alex pacing our cabin floor.

How did I get into the cabin? I asked myself, grumbling at being woken up so early. My eyes fell onto the corkscrew curls covering the bed next to me, and I remembered falling asleep next to the Frenchman who lay under them. He must have carried me inside.

"'ow did 'e get me off the roof?" I muttered to myself.

"Hmm?" Alex asked, his attention shooting to me. I sighed.

"Nothing, Alex. Just- I need more sleep." He grimaced as he continued his pacing.

"That's not going to happen, Y/N. I know you can't have seen the board in the center of camp yet, but you aren't going to like what it has to say." He huffed before turning around to sit back on his bed.

"Can you not just fucking tell me?" I grumbled.

"Fine, but stay calm."

"Okay?" I chewed my lip as he sighed deeply, twiddling his thumbs and in no hurry to say anything.

"Can you tell me today?" I snapped.

"Alright, Y/N." His hands began to run through his hair as he said, "We're going to war."

"That is a good thing, Alex."

"No- I mean, yes, but you don't understand. We're going to war first thing tomorrow morning."


	9. The World Turned Upside Down

_May 5th, 1779_

_General Washington,_

_Things have been stable in the northern division for the past two months. My troops have yet to come to more than a minor quarrel with the British, although I am unsure for how long that fact will remain true. It will be within the month that I meet with Major-General Lafayette to discuss plans and how we can bring a balance upon the attacks of our northern and southern divisions, and I plan to write you again pertaining to decisions and conclusions to which we come._

_On a personal note, Hamilton is faring generally well in the absence of his friends, although he has seldom left his desk since Laurens' departure to South Carolina. I expect that he's already written you on more than one occasion since, but I thought you might enjoy hearing from another perspective how your son has been._

_I was only joking about him being your son, by the way. Please refrain from demoting me-_

I was simple contact, just a hand laid on my shoulder, but it still caused my hand to jerk downwards, and I hissed a string of curse words at the dark line staining my parchment. My time at an active war camp had forced me to develop reflexes to such simple things, and while an advantage at war, it was a handicap in my everyday life.

"King, why didn't you tell me John was coming in to visit today?" Alex's light voice came from behind me.

"You'll forgive me if your lover's visit isn't at the top of my list of priorities," I huffed, rolling up the letter I'd been writing.

"But of course, _sir,_ " he said with a scowl, "Please, forgive me for thinking that you might have the visit of an old friend on your mind. I'd simply forgotten that since you've been a major-general, people don't matter to you."

"You're still on that?" I dropped my quill back into my inkwell a bit more roughly than I'd meant to, and could only sigh as ink splattered all over my small table. "If so, _you_ will have to be the one to forgive _me_. I forgot that since I haven't been drunk with you since we arrived, I clearly hate you. Silly me, right?" My teeth were gritted beneath my fake smile as I turned to face him.

He folded his arms, his burning gaze meeting my own. "Don't downplay this. You've hardly spoken to me."

"I've been busy," I seethed.

"How busy could you have been?" he scoffed, "If General Washington has free time, I suspect you do as well."

"General Washington doesn't have to restructure a month's worth of plans because they were taken by the British when we fled our previous camp," I yelled, but then sighed as I realized how much I had raised my voice. "I'm over a month behind and Lafayette could be here any day now. I need to catch up. I'm not nearly ready for his visit."

My anger was beginning to melt into the stress and fatigue that it was rooted in, and I could see that he noticed my tone softening as he nodded, and then quickly upturned the corners of his mouth into a smug grin.

"Ah, I see. So this is about _your_ lover as much as it is about mine."

"So you admit that John's your lover?" I retorted, an eyebrow raised nonchalantly.

"And you don't deny that Lafayette is yours."

"Oh, I do, but I would never pass up an opportunity to tease you." I took on a smug grin as his melted into a groan, and I could see that I'd won.

"Y/N," he moaned, and I could feel my heart rate spike.

"Sorry?" I raised an eyebrow as I gritted my teeth and sent him a warning look, wondering how he could be so careless. "I've never met a Y/N in my life."

"You're being paranoid." He rolled his eyes.

I sighed. "I prefer cautious. Now is John already here?" I asked before pushing myself to my feet with a grunt. Alex opened the heavy canvas flaps of the tent and I winced at the bright afternoon before following him out.

"Yeah, he arrived around an hour ago. I didn't want to disturb you, though."

"And yet, here we are," I muttered bitterly, and he either didn't hear me or chose to ignore me.

"And King?" he added.

"Hm?" I plastered an indifferent look on my face as I glanced over at him.

"I told him about you."

My eyebrows shot up at his words. "What about me, exactly?"

"Oh come on, really? What do you think I told him?" He raised an eyebrow, a nonchalant expression on his face that contrasted immensely with how I was feeling, and my eyes widened.

"Alex, that was my biggest secret!" I hissed.

"Too late now," he muttered back, as we had just reached John. Alex tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around with an inquisitive expression, but a grin split across his face as he saw me.

I cleared my throat and gave him a small and incredibly fake smile. "Mr. Laurens, great to see you again."

"You as well, Major-General King." He grinned as I extended my hand for him to shake, but he instead pulled me into a hug.

"I like the glasses; they're a nice touch," he whispered, and I chuckled lightly.

"I thought I looked pretty hot," I teased.

"I missed you," he murmured into my hair and I nodded.

"I missed you too."

He pulled away before turning back to Alex and beginning to speak. "So Lafayette should be riding in at some point either tonight or tomorrow. He had to make a quick ride up to the training grounds to speak with Washington." He caught my eye with a smirk, and I sighed. "I'm sure you're thrilled, King."

"Less than," I muttered bitterly, and Alex shook his head in exasperation.

"Oh?" John cocked an eyebrow as he glanced between Alex and me, seeming to notice the tension there.

"King's been in a frenzy all week, panicking about not having the plans ready for her- _his_ meeting with Lafayette," Alex explained as I just rolled my eyes with a scowl.

"And my _great_ friend Alex, here, has been making me feel guilty about prioritizing the war over him." I couldn't help gritting my teeth in frustration through my forced smile (more of a grimace, as anyone watching me would probably say) as John only scoffed.

"Oh come on. You really think Lafayette's going to be mad if you don't have everything together? It's _you._ " He rolled his eyes.

I narrowed my eyes, sending him a withering glare. "First of all, I get your implication and hate you for it, and second, I'm not telling him."

That was all it took for their smirks to contort into expressions of shock.

"What d'you mean you're not telling him? You told me!" John protested, and I sighed.

" _Alex_ told you. I didn't want him to. I'm not telling anyone else." As they shared glances with raised eyebrows, I felt the need to add, " _And neither are you._ "

"But-- I--" He opened his mouth to speak, but instead just inhaled sharply as no words came out, and stared at me with an expression of disbelief as he tried to form his thought. "This is Lafayette we're talking about," he finally said.

"I don't care, John. This is my secret. We aren't telling Herc either." My expression could've been read as one of nonchalance, if not for my tightly clenched jaw.

"Y/N, I--"

" _Major-General Levi King_ ," I corrected him. My voice held a trace of venom just enough to make him raise his eyebrows, and Alex clearing his throat was the only thing that made me break my scathing gaze.

"John, I'm sorry but he's right. It isn't your place to decide--"

"Oh, so you too now? Alright, I see how it is." John pursed his lips as he shook his head at us, an expression of utter disdain splayed across his featured.

"C'mon, please-"

"No, Alex! They're our two best friends, hell, one of them is _in love_ with Y/N."

"I don't think--" I began to protest, but John just continued speaking over me.

"We can't just not tell them!"

I sighed; guilt was beginning to settle into my stomach as John looked at me in disbelief. "You don't understand, this secret could cost me my life."

"And you don't trust them with it?" he asked desperately.

"I don't know," I huffed, tears of frustration beginning to sting my eyes. "Maybe I don't. Maybe I shouldn't!"

"Whatever. I'm can't--I can't deal with this." He turned around, shaking his head, and began to leave, but Alex darted towards him him, grabbing his arm and pulling him around to face the smaller man.

"Hey, John, c'mon- I- please, John, hey, look at me- _look at me,_ John, come on, love-" He cut himself off with widened eyes at the last word, realizing what he'd said as he stared at Laurens with widened eyes.

"I'm sorry, back up, _what?"_ I walked over to where they were as I raised my eyebrows, my eyes wide. "Did you just call him _love?_ "

John coughed nervously as Alex tried to cover it up, stuttering words that sounded similar. His best attempt was 'thereof', but I wasn't a fool.

"Alex, just stop." I shook my head at him, and they exchanged a nervous glance as I took a deep breath, before saying, "Alright, whatever. Can we just agree not to tell Laf and Herc my secret?"

They both stared at me blankly for a second, before Alex spoke, raising an eyebrow. "Wait... So you don't care?"

"Alex," I sighed as I dropped my voice to a whisper, "I'm an illegitimate child who disguised herself as a man to help lead an illegal revolution. You're a man who loves a man. I think my thing is worse."

"But... being a sodomite is illegal," John pointed out, and once again I sighed.

"Must I repeat my previous statement?"

They both just continued to stare at me in confusion and I stared back with an eyebrow raised. "So? What should we do now?" I asked and they again shared a glance before Alex just shrugged.

"I dunno. There's a tavern in the nearest town with a bar, we could go there for the night," he suggested.

"Sounds good to me. John?"

"Sure."

"Alright. But fair warning, this is the only time I'm going to take a night off," I stated and they both chuckled.

  ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧  

 

"So have you guys, like, done it? How does that work?" They both groaned at what must have been my eighty-ninth question.

 

"That is definitely not a conversation I'm willing to have," John moaned as I giggled.

 

"Y/N, do you know the definition of the word sodomy?" Alex asked, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation.

 

"Of course I--" I had to cut myself off as realization struck. "Ohhh."

 

"Yeah."

 

"My god, can we please talk about something else?" John gave me a weary look, and I laughed.

 

"Alright, alright. It was just an innocent question."

 

"That question was far from innocent, King." Alex gave me an 'are-you-serious' look, and I responded with a sheepish smile.

 

"Fine, it was a dirty question, happy?" My joke was met with another chorus of groans as I did everything I could to suppress a grin.

 

"Can't you just go get drunk or something?" John asked tiredly.

 

"We'll see about that. What can I get you gents?" I stood up, clasping my hands together with my eyebrows raised.

 

"Scotch."

 

"Gin."

 

"Alright. I'll be back in a few. I'm trusting the two of you to pay me back, against my better judgement." I started towards the bar and began to fish a few coins out of my pocket.

 

"Two gins and a scotch, please." I had to assume the barman took my order, as I still hadn't looked up from my pocket. I had so far come up with five shillings, and wasn't sure I had anymore.

 

I jumped slightly as I heard the three mugs slammed onto the counter and watched as one was filled with the amber scotch and the other two filled with gin, cringing at how high they filled them. I almost definitely didn't have enough to pay.

 

"That'll be nine shillings."

 

My eyes widened slightly. Not only could I not afford the drinks, but they were also nearly double what I had.

 

"I've only got five."

 

He huffed. "What does this look like, the local market? That's a hard price; there'll be no haggling."

 

"I've still only got five." I glanced back at Alex and John with a panicked expression, and they raised their eyebrows but made no move to help.

 

As I began once more to dig through my pockets, someone came to my rescue. "I will cover ze rest."

 

I stared at the man in disbelief as he handed over four shillings along with my five, not sparing me a glance.

 

As the bartender walked away, he finally turned to face me, and I had to stifle a gasp.

 

"I do not know who you think you are fooling with zat disguise, soeur cadet."

 

"Never fucking call me that, Nael. It's Levi King." My brother just stared at me with a broad grin, shaking his head. " _Major-General_ Levi King, at that. I believe a bit more respect is in order."

 

"Ooh, mon soeur cadet is a major-general now. And _my_ major-general too. Fancy."

 

"I hate you as much as I did when you left." Despite my words, he engulfed me in a hug, and I sighed, wrapping my arms around him as well.

 

"I missed you, Y/N," he murmured.

 

"Of course you did; I'm the best thing in your life."

 

"Did not so much miss ze comments." He chuckled as he pulled away.

 

"So what are you doing here?" I asked, a broad grin across my face, before I remembered, and narrowed my eyes at him. "Wait, you left Mémé alone? You fucking asshole."

 

"That woman can 'andle 'erself; you know that as well as I do," he said causing us both to chuckle.

 

"Very true. Remember when she beat a man with her handbag because he was trampling her flowers?" I laughed.

 

"That is not something a person forgets. I think 'e was somewhat traumatized."

 

"Alright, so I don't hate you as much as I might've. But I don't retract my previous statement." I shot him a playful glare, before another thought struck, "What about Rachel? You were supposed to take care of her as well!"

 

"Relax, relax, I brought your 'orse with me," he assured me, shaking his head. "Honestly your brother comes to join you at war and you are more concerned about your 'orse."

 

"Hey, I missed her," I argued.

 

"More than me?" He cocked an eyebrow at me.

 

"I'm not sure I can answer that honestly without hurting your feelings," I said, causing him to roll his eyes.

 

"Whatever, Y/N."

 

"It's Levi King. I don't know a Y/N."

 

"Oh, I am sure you do not."

 

I huffed. "Anyway, I'm here with a couple friends, would you like to come meet them?"

 

"I do not see why not," he said with a shrug.

 

"Great. Carry the third drink, will you? If I'm making friends for you then at least make yourself useful." I nodded towards John's scotch as I picked up the other two pints of gin.

 

"Always an ulterior motive with you, non?" he chuckled.

 

"Sounds like you remember me accurately," I said with a grin as I started towards the couches where Alex and John sat.

 

"Hey Alex, John, this is Nael Legrand, the brother of your old friend Y/N," I introduced him, handing John his scotch as I sat down across from him. Nael passed Alex the gin before joining me.

 

"Alexander Hamilton, people call me Hamilton, or Alex, or Alexander. Whatever you prefer." He offered Nael his hand, which he shook with a warm smile.

 

"Some people also call him 'love'," I muttered into my glass, earning a death glare from John.

 

"Excuse-moi?" Nael quirked up an eyebrow at me, and John just shook his head.

 

"It was nothing. Anyway, I'm John Laurens, call me Laurens or John, doesn't really matter." He shrugged and Nael nodded.

 

"Alright. It is nice to meet both of you. I 'ave 'eard about you from Y/N's letters, but I am not sure that's entirely accurate. She makes more than 'er fair share of jabs at you, 'amilton."

 

"Do not," I muttered.

 

"Sounds about right. I assume you know me as the half-brother?" Alex chuckled.

 

"That is right. In that case, I assume you are ze so-called asshole flirt?" my brother asked, turning his attention to John.

 

"I probably wouldn't describe myself that way, but I'm sure Y/N would, so yes, that's me." He chuckled, reaching out to shake Nael's hand.

 

"I highly doubt she ever referred to you as that," I defended.

 

"Oh? Do you suppose I am pulling that description out of mon cul?" Nael raised his eyebrows at me with an amused smile, and I huffed.

 

"No, but I- _she_ only probably referred to him as that once in one of her first letters home and never again," I said through semi-clenched teeth.

 

"I believe in the first letter home 'e was Freckles, and then became The Asshole Flirt by ze second," Nael responded nonchalantly.

 

"That's not true."

 

"And 'ow would you know, King?" He smirked as I glared at him, at a loss for words.

 

"Right. Well anyway, where are ze other two?" he asked John and Alex.

 

"They're stationed down south," Alex explained, and John nodded before interjecting.

 

"I've gotta ask, what were those two called in Y/N's letters?" John asked, a grin creeping onto his face.

 

"Well ze French one, Lafayette?" Nael raised an eyebrow and continued when they both nodded. "Yes well, 'e was referred to as Baguette in the first letter and by his name in the future, but Mulligan was only ever called Mulligan."

 

"Baguette?!" John laughed, "My god, Y/N kills me."

 

"And what have you heard about them?" Alex asked.

 

"To be 'onest, not very much. I would like to 'ear a bit more of what Y/N 'as to say about them." Nael shrugged.

 

"Don't get her started. You'll get an hour long rant about how perfect Lafayette is," John chuckled, and I could feel my cheeks flare.

 

"That would _not_ happen."

 

"What do you know, King?" Alex scoffed before looking back at Nael, "The two are madly in love."

 

"Okay, no, I-- that's not--" I started, but was quickly cut off.

 

"Really. I'm surprised they didn't get married the night they met," John chuckled, and I glared at the two men.

 

"Can we go somewhere less crowded so I can at least defend myself?" I huffed.

 

"Oui, I want to 'ear all sides of this love story."

 

At that point, they were all smirking at me, and I just slammed down my glass and stormed off with a huff.

 

  ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ 

  
A few hours and exchanged anecdotes later, we were all chatting happily in my and Alex's tent, and I had (mostly) managed to convince my brother that Lafayette and I were not in love, nor anything of the sort.

"And then Y/N just took the turtle 'ome, despite it 'aving bit off a large piece of 'er 'air," Nael explained, as Alex laughed and John just looked mesmerized.

"It was a very cute turtle, to be fair," I chuckled.

"D'you still have it?" John asked, and I shook my head.

"We had to get rid of it after it bit a rat's neck off and left its corpse in our house." I sighed. "Though I will never forget Mr. Whiskers."

"Why did you name the dead rat?" Alex asked, looking at me like I was stupid.

"No, Mr. Whiskers was the turtle," I assured him.

"Why would a turtle-" Alex started, but when Nael just shook his head, "Nevermind."

We flinched slightly, Alex most of all, at the low rumble of thunder that sounded from the sky, and Nael sighed.

"It 'as been très drôle getting to know you both, but I want to get to my tent before it begins raining," he said, looking wearily at the sky through the tent flap, "I will see you tomorrow, non?"

"Yes, bye." I nodded and he raised an eyebrow at me.

"Why do I feels like you want to get rid of me?" he chuckled.

"I would never."

"Whatever. Goodnight, Y/N." He shook his head as he stood up and began to leave. "You as well, 'amilton and Laurens."

He ducked out of the tent, and just as the flap fell back into place, still slowly swinging, John turned to me.

"How the hell do you pronounce his name?" he asked, "His accent makes it impossible."

"No, it's fine. It's n-ah-l," I explained, stressing each sound.

"Nal?" he repeated.

"Close enough," I chuckled, and he looked at me with a pout.

"C'mon, that was spot on!" he whined.

"Sure it was."

Our attention was only drawn to Alex as we heard a whimper from the corner of our tent when another crash of thunder ensued. My eyes widened as I saw him sitting there with his knees clutched tightly to his chest, rocking slightly back and forth. He looked as though in a trance, unaware of his surroundings.

"Alex?" I shouted, rushing to his side. I tried wrapping an arm around him, but he sharply inhaled at the contact before pushing me roughly away. His eyes were glassy, and he looked as though close to tears.

"It's alright, Y/N, this has happened before. I know how to handle it." John rested his hand on my shoulder, looking considerable calm compared to the panic that must have shown across my face. He walked past me, and I glanced wearily outside as I heard the rain begin pounding against the thin tarps above us. Lightning illuminated the horizon, and I could almost understand why Alex was in the state he was.

Almost.

"Hey, hey, breathe, ok? Focus on that." I looked over to see John clutching Alex's hands, trying to get his attention, but the smaller man still looked long gone.

"John, is there anything I can do to help?" I asked, my forehead creased with worry.

"You can get out."

"Excuse me?" I raised my eyebrows at him, and he sighed.

"Sorry about the bluntness, but having another person here will just add to Alexander's stress."

I could then see the tears that had been pouring down Alex's face as they glistened in the sharp strike of lightning.

"John, I can't go out in that. It's only getting worse," I protested, but John shook his head.

"I don't care. You don't know how to handle this, and Alex needs someone who does."

"I can't just wait here?"

" _No."_ He turned to look at me with an urgent expression, and I knew he really did need me to leave.

I swallowed hard, and without another word, darted into the downpour outside. I was soaked within seconds, drenched down to my skin. As shivers ran down my spine, all I could do was mutter curses at the weather.

My hair began to stick to my wet forehead in the downpour, and as I ran my hand through my recently shortened locks, water just began running out of my hair and down my back. My teeth had begun to chatter in the cold weather, and I could feel my heart pounding as I assessed my options.

I could go up to town and rent a room in one of the many taverns, but town was too far and rent was too expensive. There was always the option to sleep outside, but I struck down that idea as I saw another crackle of electricity, followed shortly by a booming crash of thunder.

My final option was to barge into another soldier's tent for the night, and though it wasn't ideal, it was the best of my options. Nael was long gone, and there was almost no chance of finding where he was staying, so it looked like the night was going to be spent with a total stranger.

I nearly yelped as the thunder sounded again, significantly louder that time. That was the final straw.

I gritted my teeth and ran, sprinting until I reached the next tent I could see in my blurred vision. I shoved the canvas tent flap out of my way as I ducked in, shuddering at the cold that covered me to my core. I hardly glanced at the soldier in front of me, huddled under his blanket with a lantern. As I turned around to tie the tent shut, I began to explain to the man why I was there.

"I'm sorry to barge in here like this, but one of the men from my tet was having... some issues. I couldn't stay there with him, and I certainly couldn't stay out in the storm, so that brings me here..."I turned around as my sentence trailed off; I could feel the blood draining from my face at the man I saw huddled in front of me.

"Ees alright, I was not asleep." I couldn't help but stare as he pulled his blanket a bit tighter around himself, his dark curls bouncing as he raised his head to look at me. "Ah, monsieur King, we met two months ago, when General Washington was telling us about our stations."

"Yes, you're Major-General Lafayette," I said softly, a small smile resting on my lips as I remembered a night parallel to that one, when Lafayette had walked in, drenched and freezing.

"Oui, zat is me." He nodded. "Would you like to change? I 'ave some dry clothings you can borrow."

"I-" I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to snap myself back to reality. "No, that's fine. I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You are looking very wet." He eyed me skeptically, and I shook my head a bit too quickly.

"I'm fine."

"At least let me offer you a blanket," he said with a weary smile, and I sighed.

"I appreciate it, but you are definitely going to need that blanket. You're shivering even with it," I pointed out, and he nodded.

"True, but we can share ze blanket. You must be very colder than I am."

"I promise you, I'm alright." I gave him a smile that was meant to be assuring, but it turned into more of a grimace as I shivered.

"Non, I insist. You are going to get the cold disease," he said, holding out his arm to me, and I chuckled.

"I'm just going to make you colder."

"I said I insist. Sit down, King."

I smiled and shook my head at him as I took a seat next to him in front of the slow-burning lantern. He held up the corner of the blanket with an expectant expression on it, and as I took it from him, wrapping myself in it, I was torn in my conflicting emotions.

On one hand, I was there with my friend who I hadn't seen in two months, and I could have easily given into the bliss and basked in the moment, but alternatively, a nagging feeling of sickening familiarity wouldn't let me. It reminded me that I wasn't the person I was two months before, that he was no longer my close friend, that it was all fake.

This wasn't the same as it would have been two months before.

"Thank you, Lafayette." I gave him a small smile before glancing back to the flame dancing in front of me. He nodded slowly.

"Toujours, mon amie."

And at the last two words, though I had been trying to have him call me that for months, I felt my throat tighten.

Nothing was the same.


	10. Outlast

Hoofbeats.

I didn't know how far away they were, I didn't know how long it would be until they reached me, I didn't know anything.

But if nothing else, I knew that they were coming from _many._

"Lafayette, wake up," I hissed, shaking the arm of the man beside me as I sat bolt upright. Perhaps it was my imagination, but I could swear they were getting louder as he rolled onto his back, squinting up at me.

"Y/N?" he asked groggily, and I froze.

"I-- wha-- n-- Levi King," I sputtered.

He furrowed his brow. "Why did you sound French for moment there?" I sharply inhaled at his words, realizing my mistake.

"I didn't. You must have been dreaming."

He hummed in agreement before rolling back onto his side, and I scowled. "That doesn't mean go back to sleep. I still need you up."

"What for?" he groaned.

"Just get up," I whispered with a huff, focusing again on the sound, which wasn't easy as Lafayette groaned.

I hadn't noticed him sitting up, at least not until his chin came to rest on my shoulder. "Now why am I being awake?" he murmured.

"Shh." I waited a moment, trying to see if the hoofbeats were getting louder or just passing, and when I couldn't determine it, I turned to him. Only to see his face centimeters from mine.

I sharply inhaled, before swallowing roughly and saying, "Do you hear that?"

"Oui. It is 'orses," he said before going to lay back down.

"Not just horses. Enough horses to be an entire army." At my words, he froze.

"You think we are under attack?" he asked, panic evident is his wide eyes.

"Not yet, but we will be soon."

He sat back up, and just stared straight ahead for a moment, processing the information. After inhaling shakily, he finally spoke. "We need to sound ze alarms."

"Yes, right away." I huffed and stood up as quickly as I could, before marching out of the tent as I pushed my glasses up the bridge of my nose. Lafayette trailed after me, still slightly dazed, as I realized the problem. "We can't sound any alarms. Start waking up soldiers, beginning first with the drummers on the east end of camp, and have them continue waking everyone up with the message that we're under attack."

"Why no alarms?"

"They'll know we know. Now go." I turned to him with an urgent expression, and he nodded.

"But then what?"

"What?"

"Then what?" he reiterated, "I am not part of zis division; I 'ave no marching orders."

I scowled and turned around as I realized he was right, and I didn't know what position to give him. I didn't have a position to give him. "You... report back to me. This is the first battle that I'll have been leading, and I just might need help."

"Ah, oui, everyone knows that I am ze greatest major-general around," he said with a lazy grin, and I chuckled.

"You really are as cheeky as Hamilton and Laurens say. Y'know, I was sure they were exaggerating, but I suppose just this _once_ I actually was wrong." I shook my head in amusement as his face lit up.

"Ah! You know mes amis?"

"Yes, they're... quite the characters." He chuckled lightly, and I couldn't stop the grin I was biting back. "You have your orders, now go. See you on the battlefield, Lafayette."

"Stay safe, mon amie," he said, and I nodded as I turned away.

"You too."

I started towards my tent, a million scenarios running through my head of how this could play out. It was my first real battle, and I knew what I was doing, but that did nothing to slow my heartbeat and steady my hands as I threw the tent flaps out of my way.

"John, Alex, wake the fuck up," I said, throwing covers off of them.

"It's still dark out," Alex murmured, burying his face further into John's chest.

"Yeah, and as much as I hate to interrupt this tender moment, we're under attack. British cavalry, not far from camp," I said through gritted teeth, shooting him a pointed glare just as John began to come to.

"I-- What? Attack? How long do we have?" the taller man asked groggily, rolling onto his side to look up at me.

"What do I look like, a spy for the colonies? I don't know what time they're going to attack. Regardless, we could very well be surrounded as they wait for good timing. This battle won't be exactly short, if I know anything about wars." I huffed as I ran my hand through my hair. "So get up. I'd rather not lose two of my closest friends because they were too lazy to get out of bed after fucking."

"Geez, Y/N, okay." Alex yawned as he sat up, stretching his arms, and John sat up not long after, resting his head on Alex's shoulder. Not making fun of them was a wasted opportunity that day.

"Finally. Thank you," I said, earning mumbled protests about how I was being dramatic from both of them, and all I could do was roll my eyes. "Now go start waking up other tents. I need to get everything under control before Lafayette reports back.

"Wait, what? When did Lafayette get here?" John gave me a confused look as he began to tie his hair back.

"Late last night."

"Ah, so I assume that was where you went after you left us." Alex smirked at me, which apparently made John decide to join in.

"And that's why you're so grumpy right now?" He gave me a fake pout. "You must not have gotten a lot of sleep if you were with him all that time."

"I don't have time for this. Just get up," I snapped before striding out of the tent. The whole camp was in a frenzy; soldiers and marksmen and the like all zipped around me as I tried to gather my bearings and find Lafayette.

"King!" His sharp voice came behind me, and I whirled around to face him, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Lafayette, thank God. Help me." I beckoned for him to follow as I began walking towards the stables, and he quickly caught up and began walking beside me.

"What do you need me to do?" he asked, and I sighed.

"I'm not sure?" I told him, though it came out as more of a question, "Look, this is my first time being _in_ an actual battle, let alone leading one. They- they've got us surrounded, and--"

I hadn't realized how close to full on panicking I was until he cut off my rambling with a raised hand.

"King. Do not worry, I 'ave lead lot of battles and am still 'ere, non?" His easy, almost amused smile put my worries slightly at ease. "Besides, we are friends, or course I will 'elp you."

"Thank you, Lafayette." He nodded, and I took a deep breath.

"By the sounds of their movement, we're likely surrounded by now, so..." I trailed off, looking up at him expectantly.

"So we form an inner perimeter. Push zem back and break their line," he explained, and I nodded.

"I'll go announce orders. I want you to lead one side of the counter-attack, alright?" I asked.

"Oui. I will need a 'orse, non?" He raised an eyebrow, and I nodded.

"Come with me." I beckoned for him to come with me as I turned and began walking towards the stables, and I didn't have to turn around to know that he was following.

The 'stables' were really little more than a small clearing filled with horses tied to fence posts, but that was all we needed.

I rushed over to York with a small smile, placing a kiss on his neck before going to undo his reigns, and Lafayette walked over to a smaller white and grey horse. My breath caught in my throat.

"Take any other horse. Not that one," I told him.

He cocked an inquisitive eyebrow at me. "Quelle? Why not?"

"It--" I hesitated; I didn't have an answer. "It's too small?"

"It is not that small."

"Yes it is."

"Non, it is not. It looks like a strong 'orse, raised well if you asked me." He nodded approvingly, and I had to stop myself from swelling with pride.

"I don't care. It just... belongs to a friend. I want it safe." I began to lead York away from the fence, and he shrugged.

"If you insist, King."

I glanced over to see him walking away from Rachel, and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank you."

"Oui, it is no problem." He gave me a warm smile as he began untying another large brown horse, and I couldn't help my smile as I mounted York.

"So can I have you take the west end of camp?"

"Yes, I will go give the orders," he said before mounting his horse and lightly prodding its side with his heel. It broke into a trot, and I chuckled at the string of curse words that flew from his lips as he tried to slow it down.

"I 'ate zis 'orse, King!" he yelled back at me, and I laughed.

"Whatever, Lafayette," I called back, prodding York's side gently. He began to walk, and I steered him towards east camp where I saw my majors with company after company standing at attention.

It was an astonishing to see the level of respect I had from these men. Not just each soldier, but each major, each lieutenant colonel, each colonel was just waiting for my orders. They trusted me to lead them through this.

And I hadn't even done this before.

I rode York up in front of the troops, looking down at the men with an air of authority.

"Alright everyone, the British have us surrounded. Our plan is to form an inner perimeter and push them out and away," I said, my voice booming through the dead silence. "Minute-by-minute instructions will come from your colonels and majors. Heed their instructions. Am I clear?"

My orders were met with a chorus of 'yes, sir', and I nodded, pursing my lips.

"Good."

As I scanned the crowd, I saw brave, determined faces. _Trusting_ faces.

I couldn't help the question nagging at my mind.

_Are they in good hands?_

I hoped that the answer could be a genuine 'yes.' Otherwise, we were all in for a shitstorm.

Swallowing my fears, I put on a brave smile. "Well? What are we waiting for? Let's go kick some redcoat ass."

Cheers came from all directions, soldiers and commanders alike. If Washington had put me in charge, I wasn't going to let him down.

I heard the drummers begin to play a steady march, and I lead York off to the center of camp as the companies filed in around the perimeter.

The forest around us was deadly quiet, and my troops were almost too afraid to make a sound. The possibility of a false alarm hung heavy in the air, filling me with self-doubt as Lafayette rode up next to me.

"And now we wait?" he asked in a hushed voice. I took a deep breath.

"And now we wait."

The crunch of a single twig underfoot came from my left, and I swung my entire body around to see what was there, panic evident in my wide eyes.

The deserted camp lay before me, not a single person there to have made the sound, and I sighed. York had shifted slightly.

The dull silence remained for several minutes, my worry growing with each one that passed. Finally, I turned to Lafayette with a furrowed brow.

"Could I have been mistaken?"

He shook his head. "Non. I 'eard ze 'oofbeats as well."

"Then what--"

I never had the chance to finish my question, as that was the moment when deafening gunfire exploded through the area, crowding the silence out of every inch of our camp.

It didn't stop for days.

 

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

 

 

_Noon, Day 1_

 

 

"Sir, we're having no luck in pushing the British outwards. They haven't managed to fight further in, but we're making no progress."

 

 

I rested my head in my hands as an aide-de-camp gave the report, and sighed. "Have the men reached hand-to-hand combat yet?"

 

 

"No, sir. Just firing from the trenches."

 

 

I glanced up from my desk at the nervous-looking man and pursed my lips as I assessed the situation. "How are we on supplies?"

 

 

"We're doing fine, sir. We aren't yet close to running low on ammunition, and should be able to keep this up for up to three weeks."

 

 

"With any luck, we won't have to," I assured him. I looked down at the map that sat on my desk, tracing several possible routes, but only let out a grunt of frustration as I realized how unlikely they all were to work. "Give word to the colonels to send their men over the top."

 

 

He raised his eyebrows, and you could see that he was slightly shaking. "Sir? Are... are you sure about that?"

 

 

"I-- Should I not be?" I raised a questioning eyebrow at the man, beginning to doubt myself, when Lafayette walked in. I straightened my back with confidence, trying not to show how unsure I truly was. "No. I take it back. Tell them to wait for the British to advance. Try to conserve supplies, and wait for further instructions."

 

 

The aide-de-camp gave you a curt nod, and you could see his relief as he walked out, hands clasped behind his back.

 

 

"Sounds like you 'ave everything under control." I glanced back over at the Frenchman leaning on the side of the doorway with a small smile.

 

 

I let out a shaky laugh, running my hand through my hair. "It doesn't feel like it."

  
"It looks like it, mon amie."

"Thank you, Lafayette." I sighed then hesitated, looking at him as I chewed my lip. "Is it what you'd have done?"

"Hmm?"

"I mean, you heard me send orders along with the aide-de-camp, you know what I'm having the troops do. Is it what you'd have done?" I reiterated, and he pursed his lips as he walked over to my side.

"May I?" He motioned to the map in front of me, and I quickly nodded.

"Yes, of course." I stepped aside and he moved to where I'd been moments ago, creasing his brow as he shifted different trinkets I had representing troops.

"Et ici..." he murmured to himself as he traced a small path surrounded by forest. I could hear the crescendo of my heartbeat as the skepticism on his face grew more prominent.

"Ah." His brows parted and he slowly nodded as he pulled the small pebble back over the path. "So you assume the British would be blocking this off by now?"

"Yes. The aide reported a closed surrounding around our camp."

"I see. But why were you choosing to refrain from attacking?" He quirked up an eyebrow at me.

"Going over the top will cost our army quite a few lives. Lives that can be spared. If the British attack first, we can take out a large fraction of their numbers, and then finally meet them in combat in no-man's-land," I explained, doing my best to appear confident. He nodded.

"I agree with you, King. You 'ave done well."

I let out a sigh of relief at his words. "Thanks. Really."

"It is no problem." He smiled warmly, but then pursed his lips and furrowed his brow, giving me a serious look. "But King?"

"Mhm?"

"You cannot be afraid to attack. I do not want these men to lose their lives any more than you do, but zis is war. You 'ave to think about ze, 'ow you say, grand scheme of things?"

I raised my eyebrows; honestly, his advice was chilling.

He chuckled lightly at my expression, clapping me on the shoulder. "Do not look so afraid, mon amie. If you can, keep casualties low. But if you cannot, you still 'ave to focus on winning the battle."

I swallowed hard as I processed his words. "Alright. Thank you."

_19:00, Day 2_

"Just give me the number," I said in an utterly defeated voice.

"Mon amie..." Pity was etched across Lafayette's face as he looked down at me, and I shook my head.

"The number, Laf," I again demanded, and he sighed.

"Six 'undred twenty-seven dead, over one 'undred wounded."

My eyes widened, and I was sure that my shock and distress were visible in the tears that began to swim in them. My face fell into my hands and I stared down at my desk, unable to face the man that stood in front of me. The troops had rushed on _my_ orders, and _I_ was responsible for the letters that were likely being written by aides at that moment to inform the fallen soldiers' loved ones of their fates. I could only imagine the tears streaming down the faces of the six hundred twenty-seven families that had just been torn apart.

"King, zis is not ze time for sorrow. We 'ave pushed the British further out and it is likely zat we will win zis." I could tell he was only trying to make me feel better, but his words did anything but as I looked at him in disgust.

"So we'll win, but at what cost? How many people have to die before we no longer call it a victory?"

He remained silent, and I huffed. "I think it's best if you leave."

"King--"

" _Leave."_

_10:00, Day 3_

"He was stabbed through the _where?!"_

The poor aide's eyes were wide as he stared up at me in fear. "Sir, he... he was s-stabbed through... stabbed through his arm," he stuttered, and I pursed my lips.

"How the _fuck_ did that dumbass get stabbed in the trench?" I yelled, my fist getting progressively tighter around my quill.

"Sir, he-- he wasn't in the trench." The small man swallowed hard. "He charged at the British. We were... we were lucky to get him out alive."

"He _charged?!_ On whose orders?" I demanded, my eyes wide.

"No one's, sir."

I let out a heavy sigh at Alex's stupidity as I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Where is he?"

"Back at his tent resting, sir. The doctor finished with him quickly," he explained, looking relieved that I was no longer yelling.

"Alright," I sighed, "Thank you. You're dismissed."

He nodded hastily before scurrying out, and I stood with my annoyance resting heavily on my shoulders, and stalked off to go find Alex. When I finally reached the tent, I took a deep breath, trying to remain composed.

It didn't work.

"Alexander _godfucking_ Hamilton!" I yelled as I threw the tent flap open, and I saw him wince slightly at my tone. John, who sat by his feet, only chuckled.

"I generally go by John, but God is fine too."

I deadpanned as I stared at him, and he only maintained his cheeky grin. "I fucking hate you."

"Love you too, Y/N."

My eyes widened instantly. " _I,_ on the other hand, generally go by Levi King--"

"But Y/N is fine too?" He gave me an innocent smile, and I could only huff.

"Anyway, Alex, you charged? What the fuck were you thinking?" I turned my attention back to my half-brother, who was then wincing as he tried to sit up.

"Hey, Lex, lay down, c'mon. You're only hurting yourself more," John said softly as he rushed to Alex's side.

"John, I'm fine," he argued, though through gritted teeth.

"Alex, lay down," he sighed.

"I said I'm fine."

"Please? For me?" John asked, taking Alex's hand.

"You can't just say that and get whatever you want," he grumbled.

John just stared at him blankly for a moment before repeating, "Please? For me?"

My brother huffed. "Fine."

As Alex laid back down, John chuckled, pressing his lips to the smaller man's knuckles. "Thank you."

It was at that moment when I scoffed, and both their heads turned. "Seriously? You tell me Laf and I act like too much of a couple and then you go do this shit?"

John rolled his eyes. "Yeah, because you're in denial."

"You were hitting on me up until like two days ago!"

"Ever heard of a cover-up? I'm not stupid."

I scowled. "Whatever, John. _Anyway_ , why the fuck did you charge across the field?"

Alex chuckled. "I couldn't resist the opportunity to take out some redcoats. We weren't getting anywhere."

"You're supposed to wait for orders!" I scolded him, and he scoffed.

"I wasn't getting any."

" _The orders were to wait for further instructions!"_ I yelled, and they both winced.

"Alright, King, he fucked up. Can we get past that now?" John sighed. I pursed my lips and eyed them skeptically.

"Fine. Now how bad is the wound?" I looked wearily at his wrapped arm, and Alex just dismissed my worries with a flick of his wrist. With his good arm, of course.

"It's nothing. Not infected, no need to amputate, should be better in a few weeks."

I chuckled. "Lex, you were stabbed cleanly through your upper arm. No one else alive would call that 'nothing'."

John rolled his eyes, grinning along with me. "But you know our Alex."

"Unfortunately." I sighed as I glanced back outside the tent, knowing that unfortunately I couldn't stay for long. "Alright, you guys, I've got to get back to the battle. Rest, Alex." I gave him a pointed look, and he grinned.

"You're the king," Alex conceded with a shrug, causing me to snort.

"Don't bother with the puns on my name. They're never going to go well."

"Aw, c'mon, that was good," he protested. I just shook my head.

"No, Alex. But in any case, I really should leave. I mean, we're in the middle of a battle and I'm the major-general." I jutted my head towards the opening of the tent, and they both nodded.

"Go ahead, Levi."

"Thanks. Bye Alex, John." John gave me a short wave, and my brother only smiled, not wanting to move his arms.

As I started out of the tent and back into camp, I found Lafayette rushing frantically around and raised an eyebrow as I tried to catch up with his scurrying towards our meeting area.

"Lafayette! Hey!" I called, and he whipped his head around to where I was as he froze. I could see the relief on his face as I hurried over to him.

"Monsieur King. I am glad you finding me, as I was just looking for you. I 'ave received word that our friend Alex was stabbed, and wanted to tell you. Are you knowing where 'e could be?" He grabbed my biceps, his wide eyes staring into mine, and I raised my eyebrows.

"Oh! Actually, I just visited Alex. He's in his tent, just behind me." I pointed my thumb over my shoulder, and he nodded.

"Oh. 'e is alright, non?" he asked, brow creased with worry.

I nodded. "Perfectly fine. He seems to think that being stabbed is absolutely nothing," I chuckled, and he smiled.

"Ah. Merci, Levi, merci beaucoup." And with that, he swooped down to kiss my cheek before rushing off. Though I knew it was French custom, that it meant nothing but gratitude, I could help neither how I was frozen to my spot nor how my cheek burned in the spot where his lips had touched.

_20:00, Day 4_

"Now what?" I asked, bitterness and frustration seeping into my voice as I ran a hand through my short hair. "We've been at a stalemate for two days and they won't leave."

Lafayette huffed. "If zey will not attack, we 'ave to."

"No. We can't throw more men at them. Our troops aren't dispensable, Laf," I argued, and he sighed.

"Then what do you suggest we do?" My silence told him all he needed to know, causing him to throw up his hands in frustration. "King, if you do not 'ave a better idea, you need to listen to me. You are not thinking like a major-general."

I smiled bitterly, shaking my head. "No, you're right. I'm thinking like a person. A person who doesn't want hundreds to die meaninglessly."

"The deaths would not be meaningless."

"Then what would they mean?" I barked, suddenly aggressive. "Hmm? What would it mean to slaughter so many just to push the British slightly further out?"

"It would mean ze rest of us get to live another day!" he yelled, effectively silencing me as I stared up at him, stunned. "Look, I do not like zis any more than you do, but we 'ave to do certain things to win ze war. Even if zey make you feel less and less 'uman every time."

I creased my brow at how his voice began to shake. "Lafayette, are... are you alright?"

He swallowed hard, averting his gaze to the ground. "Non. But it is not ze time for zat. Look, Levi, if you really want to keep your, 'ow you say, conscience? Keep your conscience?" I nodded, and he continued, "If you want to keep your conscience as you send zem into battle, go with zem. Lead ze charge."

I raised my eyebrows. "I... lead the charge?"

"Oui."

I held his gaze for a moment, considering it, and though I could feel myself beginning to shake with nerves, a small smile formed on my lips. "Looks like I'm going to need to get ready for battle, then."

_6:00, Day 6_

Hoofbeats.

That time, in the opposite direction.

A grin spread across my lips as cheers came from all around, and as the smoke began to lift, the other side of the field held a distinct lack of redcoats.

We won.

I joined the shouts of triumph as I began to ride York back into camp, and saw soldiers in all directions rushing towards each other and pulling each other into bone-crushing hugs. By the reactions, you'd have thought we won the war.

I really didn't mind it.

"King!" I heard a shout come from my left as I pulled York into the small area of stables, and glanced over to see Lafayette and John running towards me.

"No, down with the king, you dumb fuck." I nearly laughed at John's look of indignance as Lafayette just scoffed.

"I meant Levi King, you 'dumb fuck'." I actually did laugh when Lafayette flicked John's head, and the smaller man shoved him in response.

"Can you save the arguing for later? We won, guys." I dismounted York, and they wasted no time in enveloping me in their embraces.

"You did so goddamn well, Levi," John murmured, and Lafayette chuckled.

"Oui. Despite 'ow much I argued with you during ze battle, you made a brilliant major-general," he agreed.

I couldn't begin to stifle the grin plastered across my face as I threw my arms around their necks. "Thanks, you guys. And thanks, Lafayette, for all the help."

"It was no problem."

John scoffed, and I raised an eyebrow. "What, I don't get any special recognition? I was the one fighting in the war."

"Don't be a little shit, John." I pulled away from the hug, and their hands fell to their sides as they began to walk back to the center of camp with me. "So where's--"

"KING!" All three of our heads whipped around to see Alex sprinting towards us, and I scowled.

"Alex, you should be resting," I scolded him as he pulled me into a hug, his good arm around my neck.

"How can I rest when my baby sister just won her first battle?" he whispered into my hair, and I scowled, pushing him away.

"Yeah, yeah. Just go get some rest."

"Nooo," he whined, "We're celebrating now and tonight. I'm not leaving your side, and you're not entering your tent."

"Lex," I sighed, and he grinned.

"C'mon, King, this is worth celebrating."

"I went drinking with you the night before the battle started," I pointed out.

"Like, a week ago."

"Alex," I warned.

"Levi," he copied my tone, making me roll my eyes.

"Sounds like we're going drinking tonight," I conceded with a sigh, and both he and John whooped and cheered.

"Levi King!" yet another voice called my fake name, and though I was prepared to be annoyed when I turned to face them, seeing Nael standing there put a smile on my face.

"Nael Legrand. How was your first battle?" I asked, an eyebrow raised. He shrugged.

"Bloody. Warlike. What you would expect. 'ow about you?"

"Sounds like we had a similar experience," I chuckled, before pulling my brother into a hug. When we finally pulled away, Lafayette was staring at him with an eyebrow raised.

"Nael Legrand? Any relation to a Y/N Legrand?"

Nael's face lit up, and I could tell that he had already guessed who this was. "Oui, you know my sister?"

"Oui, certainly. Y/N is très merveilleux," Lafayette responded, a grin breaking out across his face.

"I am not sure I agree, but d'accord." Nael shrugged. "Did I get your name?"

"Non, you did not. I am Major-General Lafayette, from ze southern division," Lafayette said, offering his hand for my brother to shake. Nael's face lit up with false realization as I scowled.

"You are Lafayette?" he asked, shaking his hand excitedly. "Y/N certainly thinks the same about you. I 'ave 'eard much about you."

"Oh?"

"Oui. I do not think I could get Y/N to stop talking about you if I could." As he chuckled and Lafayette beamed, my face was getting progressively more red as my jaw tightened.

That was the perfect time for Alex to cut in. "Okay, enough about how much Laf and Y/N love each other. Can we go celebrate?"

"Lex, it's hardly past six in the morning," I chuckled, somehow keeping my cool, and Alex rolled his eyes.

"Fine, we can drink later tonight, sound good?"

"Only if you go rest," I added, and he huffed.

"Seriously, King? Let me live," he whined, making me glare.

"If you don't rest, you might be physically unable to live," I pointed out.

He rolled his eyes, but obliged. "Hey, John, d'you want to come with me?" he asked, pulling on the lapels of the taller man's coat.

John eyed Lafayette and I, before turning his gaze to Alex. "Sure." With that, the two of them left, and Nael muttered an excuse before turning and sprinting away, leaving me alone with Lafayette.

We both turned to each other. "So now what?" I asked, looking up at him with an eyebrow raised, "You celebrating with us later?"

He shrugged. "I think not. The ride down to my camp is a long and tiring one, and I think I should leave as soon as I can."

"Stay." The word was out of my mouth before I even realized what I was thinking.

"Hey..." he trailed off, looking at me sadly.

"Hey," I replied, smiling weakly, "Just, stay the night. Catch up with some friends, get some rest, because god knows neither of us have slept in a week."

He laughed. "I do not know, King."

"C'mon, you should stay." I bumped his elbow lightly with mine. "Besides, if we're going to be working together until we win the war, we may as well get to know one another."

He raised an eyebrow, and you could see him giving in. "I should stay?"

"You should stay," I agreed, "Just... say yes."

He smiled. "Oui."

\--------

**Would anyone be interested in being my beta reader?**

**EDIT: ok so it's come to my attention that a lot of people don't know what a beta reader is, and it's really just someone who looks over an authors work before it's published to critique and improve grammar and spelling, cohesiveness, flow, plot points, characterization, etc.**


	11. Chapter 11: Love is Blind

"Get up, dickwad."

I groaned and pulled my blanket tighter over me as Alex began to tug on the end of it. "Lex, I've hardly slept all week, let me nap. 

He huffed. "You shouldn't have told me to wake you up to go to the market in town, then."

I took a deep breath before turning into my pillow and groaning louder. "Can you send the aide de camp? I'm too tired."

"He's asleep."

"I was too!" I protested.

"Yeah, you were. Get the fuck up."

"Alex," I whined.

He huffed, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "Fine. But don't expect me to send someone to get everything you need."

He walked out of the tent, and I frowned, furrowing my brow as I buried my jead back into my pillow. "John!" I yelled.

"You're not sending him either."

I huffed. Apparently Alex wasn't far enough from the tent for me to get away with that.

Despite my intense frustration and internal conflict, I dragged myself out from under the blankets and into the heart of camp. I longed to shrug off my jacket in the late May heat, but I feared making my chest wrap noticeable and decided to refrain from doing so. I started towards the makeshift office in the center to pick of a few pence to buy supplies in town.

"Hey, Levi."

I looked to my left to see John wrapped in a blanket and sitting on the side of a bench, wearing a sleepy smile. I smiled back.

"Hey, John. You should go get some rest. Lex is still at the tent."

He shrugged, pulling the blanket tighter around his shoulders. "I dunno. I might just let 'im sleep, y'know?"

I chuckled. "I can assure you, he's far from being asleep."

He quirked up an eyebrow at me. "Oh?"

"If he's awake enough to shake the covers off of me, he's awake enough for you to talk to him on your last day here, John." I gave him a small smile, though it wasn't far from being a smirk. "Besides, he'd be disappointed if the two of you didn't take advantage of all your alone time, hmm?"

His eyes widened, and I giggled slightly as I strided past him.

"Ay! King, get back here!" he called after me, but made no chase, and as I froze, listening for footsteps but hearing nothing, I could only assume that he'd gone off to Alex.

I walked slowly through the short hall of the flimsy building, dust coming up in clouds under my heels as I crossed the dirt floors to find supply money. I slid open a drawer, the sound of wood on wood almost soothing as I began to pick through the miscellaneous objects. A few pence here, a few more there, until I'd been through the whole building and had just enough for several feet of parchment.

I finally turned to exit the small building, but stopped as I found a familiar Frenchman sorting through my limited bookshelf.

"See anything you like?" Though it was soft, my voice echoed ever so slightly through the silence. He glanced over at me, and he wore a small smile to match mine.

"Bonjour, Levi."

"Hey, Laf." I walked over to the bookshelf, joining him in where he was across from the desk. "Really, any favorites?"

He shrugged. He took quiet, almost careful steps as he crossed the room to the desk; the shadow cast from the light filtering in shifted, and I couldn't help appreciating the quiet ambiance as the light shone on his face, making his eyes sparkle as he leaned back on the desk. "I 'ave favorite books, but none zat I would expect there to be 'ere anyway."

I hummed in agreement as I walked over to join him. "Sorry to hear it. Not everyone stocks your French bullshit."

He gasped slightly as I hoisted myself onto the desk to sit beside him, before he turned his head to look at me with an expression that was both indignant and ever so slightly playful. "'French bullshit'? If mon literature is "bullshit", zen zere is not much good we can say about your books, hm?"

"Excuse you, it seems you've never read my books, in that case," I retorted, and he let out an exasperated sigh.

"'Ave you ever read mes livres?"

"No, but--"

"Zerefore you 'ave no, what they say, butt to sit on? Hmm?" He pursed his lips and furrowed his brow, and I had to laugh.

"The term is 'leg to stand on', Lafayette. Good try though."

He scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Stupid English language, making me learn ses termes étranges; ees exhausting. I would like to see you learning French."

I raised an eyebrow. "Voudriez-vous? Ou as-tu oublié que je le fais déjà?"

His eyes widened slightly, and I had to stifle my laugh. "Oh. Je suis désolé, mon amie. It slipped my mind, with everything else 'appening around us."

"It's fine. Not many people know, as I've never had much of a reason to use the skill, but now you're here, so..." I trailed off with a shrug and slid off the edge of the desk. "Anyway, I ought to get to town; we're in short supply of several things."

I began to leave, before I froze upon hearing his voice once more.

"I will go with you."

I turned around, cocking my head slightly to the side. "Shouldn't you get some rest?"

"Should not you?" he fired back, raising his eyebrows.

"Touché." I chuckled lightly as I turned back to the door, and heard Lafayette's footsteps just behind me. "Of course you're welcome to come, but I should remind you that Alex plans to drag us all out to a pub later, and some rest would be highly recommended."

He chuckled, and I saw him shrug slightly as he reached my side. "Sleep is for ze weak."

My eyes went wide.

A snippet of conversation. A silhouette cast in moonlight. A laughing Frenchman. Warmth swirling through the cold air coming from the man next to me. A discarded bottle of whiskey, and hearty laughter on a rooftop the night before we left.

My heart skipped a beat.

I squeezed my eyes shut, suppressing the flashback. I wasn't in a good place for reminiscence. I took a deep breath before opening my eyes once again to see Lafayette looking at me with an eyebrow raised.

"Levi? Are you alright?" he asked, concern evident in his tone.

"I-- yes, I'm fine." I drew in a shaky breath before painting on a timid smile. "Just, spaced out for a moment. I remembered something from a lifetime ago."

Or at least from another life.

"If you do not mind me asking, what was it? You looked... troubled. Troubled is ze word." He squinted at me in confusion, and I shrugged in an attempt to brush it off.

"No, I'm fine. Can we go get horses? I don't feel like walking to town."

His brows knitted as he scrutinized my expression, before letting out a light sigh. "Levi, we are friends, non?"

"Yes...?" I quirked up an eyebrow at him folding my arms.

"Zen you need to know you can talk to me. You seem to... distrust me."

I sighed, running a hand through my hair as I turned in the direction of our stables. "No, Laf, it's not that, it's just personal. I promise, I'm fine."

He still wore a skeptical expression, but his brows parted and he shrugged as he looked away from me. "Fine. I will not press. But Levi, you can talk to me if you are need to."

"I will. Thank you, Lafayette." I offered him a small smile, which he returned in full.

"Toujours, mon amie."

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

Several hours and several more pastries (we'd had more money than I expected) later, we were walking through town and, well, getting to know each other, for lack of an actually fitting term.

"So you really came to the Colonies disguised as a pregnant woman?" I laughed.

"Oui. Zere was no other way I could get 'ere; I was being told constantly zat I could not go!" he defended. I shoved my hair back away from my face, shaking my head.

"That's..." I exhaled shakily, stifling my further laughter. "That's something that only you would possibly think of doing."

"I like to consider it as being good at thinking as I go." He folded his arms, and I sighed lightly.

"Well, you aren't a major general for nothing, hm?" I cocked an eyebrow at him, and he gave a lopsided grin.

"I mean, I am also a military genius, so zere is zat." I rolled my eyes at his smug smile with a scoff.

"God, you're such a peacock."

He raised an eyebrow. "Quelle? What is this... peacock?" He said the word slowly, curiously, and I sighed.

"It's a... what do you call it? Un peau? Un paon?" I rolled my bottom lip between my teeth, trying to figure out how to phrase it.

"I should 'ope it is not ze first one, mon amie," he chuckled, clapping a hand onto my shoulder, and I my face flushed.

"I definitely didn't mean un peau."

"I was not think so." He shook his head at me in amusement. "But what are you meaning by un paon?"

"Just that you're show-off-y; you're cocky, y'know?"

He shrugged. "I was 'oping zat you more meant zat I was beautiful, but I will 'ave to accept that instead."

He wore an expression of mock dejection, and I lightly hit his chest. "Oh c'mon, you know what I mean."

"I am only cocky because I 'ave so much reason to be, mon amie." He shrugged with a dramatic sigh. I rolled my eyes just as dramatically.

"Oh shut up, peacock."

I whacked his chest lightly, shaking my head as I looked up at him with an amused expression, and he grinned down at me and winked. I turned to look forward again, hoping my blush was less than visible as I bit my lip. I cleared my throat before breaking the short silence.

"So um, should we get back to camp?"

He shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I am not know; ze sun is setting and I want to watch it from town before we walk back. But if you want to leave, zat is also alright."

"Hey, if you want to watch the sunset, camp can wait. I mean, in a way, you're my guest here, so it's only fair if I give you proper hospitality, hmm?" I raised my eyebrows with a light smile, and he cracked a grin before towards a nearby tree.

"I was 'oping you would say that." My eyes widened and my brow furrowed as he grabbed the lowest branch of the tree before hoisting himself up, and climbing one foot after another, higher and higher, before finally pausing to look down at me. "Qu'elle? Are you not coming?"

"Lafayette, what in the world are you doing?" I groaned as I followed him to the tree, looking up at him from beneath the branches. He looked at me with a glint of mischief in his eyes.

"Watching ze sunset. Come join me." He turned back around to continue climbing, and I figured I hadn't much of an option, unless I wanted to abandon him.

I really didn't.

I sighed lightly before copying his actions and pulling myself onto the first branch, and followed him the rest of the way up. When I finally reached him, he sat on a fairly sturdy branch, though it was a ways up, and I hoisted myself up next to him before turning to the sky before us.

"I 'ave always loved sunsets. Zey are like beautiful closure. A 'appy ending." He stared at the sky dreamily, and my interest crept from the sky to his glowing expression and demeanor, and I couldn't help but watch him with an adoring smile.

"I've always preferred the night. The quiet calm after the storm," I replied quietly, not taking my eyes off of him.

He hummed in agreement. "You remind me of someone I once knew."

"Oh? An old friend?" I arched an eyebrow, and he began to roll his lower lip between his teeth instead of giving me an answer.

After several long moments, he replied, "Something like zat, oui. I 'ave not seen 'er in several months now, perhaps since March. And I... well, I am not sure I ever will again."

I enveloped his hand in mine on the tree branch, and he looked over at me. "You'll see her. It's only a matter of time. Just... sometimes the world works in funny ways."

He gave me a sad smile, before chuckling slightly. "I suppose I should not be dumping all of my sadness on you, King. You 'ave no idea of my past at Washington's training grounds."

I bit my lip. "No, I... I really don't. But hey, anything's possible after the war." A small smile broke across my face before I continued, "And until then, how can you be sad with someone this great at your side, hmm?"

He rolled his eyes. "Who is un paon now, hmm?" I laughed lightly, and we both turned back to the beautiful orange hues of the sky in front of us, finally fading to red where the sky met the horizon.

"Fair enough." I smiled lightly. "But you must admit it, I make wonderful company."

"Oui, I suppose," he conceded with a yawn. I raised an eyebrow and looked at him.

"That week without sleep finally hitting you?" I asked with a smirk. He shrugged, plastering on a nonchalant expression.

"Non, I am perfectly fine, I am just bored," he said, stifling another yawn that broke his firm facade.

"Yeah, right." I rolled my eyes. "We should go back to camp, get some sleep. Alex will be pissed that we aren't at the pub with him."

"And 'ow is going back so we can sleep going to fix zat, hmm? If 'e will be angered either way, I am want to just stay in town." At that point his shoulders had begun to droop, his eyelids visibly growing heavy. I sighed.

"Laf, you haven't slept in a week."

"Sleep is for ze weak, though."

"I dunno, you're looking pretty weak to me right now." I shrugged, and he scowled.

"Then why am I awake?"

I cocked an eyebrow at him, turning my head ever so slightly. "...because we're in town and there's nowhere to sleep?" He dismissed that with a lazy flick of his wrist.

"I could sleep 'ere, just you wait."

I sighed heavily. "You're awfully stubborn," I chuckled, "Besides, I'd rather not wait for you to fall asleep here. While theoretically I could, I would much rather not carry you out of the tree."

"Oui, but you would being able to do it, exacte?"

I looked at him with my eyebrows raised. "You're not actually about to fall asleep in this tree, right?" He shrugged, and I noted his tired expression, the way he leaned on his hand, and the perpetual stifled yawn just behind his lips, before groaning. "Laf, are you serious right now?"

He gave me a lazy grin. "It is good luck zat you 'ave been doing military training, carrying me out of a tree should be no problem."

"Yes, but I don't want to," I reiterated, and his head came to lie on my shoulder as his eyes fluttered to a close.

"But you will," he murmured.

"Laf," I moaned. I received no answer but the slowing of his breathing and quiet snore from his throat as he drifted off, and I sighed lightly. "You're lucky I love you."

As the quiet words passed my lips, I sharply inhaled, realizing the meaning behind them, and that was when it finally struck me.

"I love you."

\----------

OOPS CLIFFHANGER SORRY

SEEMED LIKE A GOOD PLACE TO END

SORRY ALSO FOR THE SHORT UPDATE BUT SCHOOL IS ON MY ASS RN

ALSO,,, UNEDITED


	12. Chapter 12

MERRY SLIGHTLY LATE CHRISTMAS!!! HERE'S YOUR PRESENT!!!!!!!

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

August 15, 1779

General Washington,

I intend to keep this letter brief so as to avoid any trouble if it is to fall into British hands. We have driven the redcoats closer to the sea, and are now stationed in New Jersey, just east of the Pennsylvania border. I am meeting with Major-General Lafayette soon, and we plan to ride up to camp in New York to meet with you not long after.

I will refrain from specifying dates, but expect us within the week.

Levi King

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

Letters from Lafayette had gradually lengthened and become more frequent, and I found myself grinning as he filled me in on activity around south camp, whatever was going down (something always seemed to be going down), and just his life. Hearing the stories with Herc just reminded me how much I missed my group of friends, though. I still had them, but at the same time I didn't. Not in the same way. Aside from the undertone of melancholy they gave me, the words were a source of bliss for me, something I needed in the situation I was in.

I rolled that week's third letter to him up and gave it to the boy he'd had deliver his last correspondence, thanking him before I went on my way. It was nearly sunset, and the summer's evening was warm, but not quite stifling: a bit hotter than was comfortable, but I paid it no mind.

My growling stomach only served to remind me of the deficit of food we had stored around camp, and the fact that I'd already gone without breakfast and lunch that day didn't make it better in the slightest. At that point, I needed to eat.

I sighed and stuffed my hands in my pockets before heading over to the camp's office, as well as it's storage house (among other things; it was the only building at camp). I entered through the front, and started down a hallway of rooms that I wasn't even sure of the purpose of most of. Towards the end was a room stocked with crates of food, so naturally that was precisely where I went.

But a flash of red caught my eye.

I froze halfway down the hall, waiting for any sound of movement as I slowly drew my pistol, prepared to find the enemy in the adjacent room. When another creak of the floorboards made it evident that I wasn't alone, I walked slowly towards the door that hund slightly open. I gave it a soft push, and there it revealed something I'd never have expected.

A girl no more than the age of twelve sat in the middle of the floor, her red dress a puddle around her small body. Her eyes widened upon seeing my pistol, and I saw her lips begin to tremble. My countenance was harsh, an expression of stone meant for the expected intruder, but my gaze softened at what I saw before me.

"Sir, please, y-you can't-- I'm just a kid... I don't... I don't mean harm, I swear. Please... just don't hurt me. I didn't mean to..." She trailed off as she stared into the barrel of my gun, clutching the hem of her dress. I swallowed roughly, my eyes widening.

"No, no, don't worry. I'm not.. I'm not going to hurt you," I said quickly, my forehead creasing in concern as I holstered my gun. "I just... who are you? What are you doing here?"

"I was just looking for food, I swear. Please believe me." I could see the tears welling up in her eyes, and pressed my lips together.

"I believe you. Stay here; I'll be right back."

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

Not ten minutes later we sat on the floor of that very room, (much to my guilt) tearing through crates of bread and dried meat. I knew taking food from the troops wasn't entirely right, but certainly neither was leaving this girl to starve.

I watched as she finished off an entire loaf of bread (she'd already been through a half pound of jerky), and sighed, looking at my feet.

She glanced up at me, and with a soft smile, said, "Thank you, sir."

I matched her expression, running a hand through my hair that was getting a bit too long for my liking. "Of course. But now that you've eaten, can you start by telling me your name?"

She bit her lip, and her face visibly fell as her gaze was cast downward. "Maria Lewis, sir."

I hesitated--the sudden change in her demeanor was off-putting--but asked, "and, well, how'd you get to my camp?"

"I ran away from home."

My eyebrows shot up. It wasn't entirely random, but also was far from being what I'd expected. "I-- why?"

She looked up at me with a disdainful expression. "Why do you care?"

I almost had to laugh at how little she cared that I was quite literally a war general whose camp she'd stumbled upon. "Fine, then how old are you, Maria?"

"I'm... that's none of your business." She folded her arms. "I'm not about to start spilling my life to some strange man."

"And why not?"

She gave me a look of utter repulsion, and I again found myself biting back a laugh. "These just aren't things you ask."

"When I find a kid rooting through the store room of my camp, I'm going to ask these questions." I chuckled lightly as she huffed.

"I'm not a kid. And I'm tired of people treating me like one."

I raised a skeptical eyebrow. "You're definitely a kid."

"I'm twelve! I'm old enough to make decisions for myself!" she all but yelled at me, and I raised my eyebrows.

"So you're twelve?"

She opened her mouth to respond, but shut it again when she realized what she'd said. "Yeah."

I sighed. "Look, you clearly don't want to trust me, but you can, and right now, I'm all you've got. So if I'm going to help you find your way home, I'm going to need to know where you live."

There was a skip, before she conceded, biting her lip. "I'm from New York."

I raised my eyebrows. "I... can actually get you there within a couple days."

Her eyes widened slightly. "A couple days? Sir, I've got to get home sooner than that. My family's probably so worried."

I exhaled heavily, running a hand through my hair. "I'm afraid you're forgetting that you quite literally barged into an army camp. You're really in no position to be haggling for time."

"But sir, please--"

I held up a hand to cut her off, and though I felt bad because of how desperate she looked, I really had to at that point. "I wish there was more I could do for you, but I'm running a war here, you're just going to have to work with my timeline. We leave either tonight or tomorrow morning, depending on when Lafayette gets here."

Her sadness had faded, replaced by an amused curiosity. "What in the world is a Lafayette?"

Then it was my turn to grin, stifling laughter. "Lafayette's the general from south camp. We're riding up to New York together to meet with General Washington." At that, though, her face lit up with recognition.

"You know the general?"

"Yeah, we're old friends, actually. He knew my dad."

"Oh my god; he's so cool. Was he really the one who started the revolution?"

"Well, sort of. He was the general who really jump-started our progress, but this wasn't all his idea. He was a farmer before, and wanted to be a sailor."

When I walked in, I definitely wouldn't have guessed that the girl on the floor idolized General Washington, but there I was anyway, chuckling at her starry eyes as we discussed him. I humored her for a while, answering any and all questions I knew the answers to, and after an hour we were both lying on the floor laughing about his past.

"I swear! He was like, twenty or something, and he was fighting for the British against France. He did fuck it up, but not on purpose." I raised my hands in mock surrender (I couldn't help that the fact was true), and she furrowed her brow, chuckling.

"No way. He fights against the British. I refuse to believe that he ever fought for them." She folded her arms, shaking her head, and I just shrugged.

"Sorry, kid, I can't help that it's the truth."

"I'm not a kid," she whined, tossing a corner of a loaf of bread at me. I yelped, ducking out of the way.

"Hey! You can't go throwing things at army generals; it's rude."

"You're rude."

I huffed, pulling up my sleeve to pretend to check my watch. "How long till I can get rid of you, again?"

"Hey!"

I rolled my eyes. "Maybe if you weren't being rude to someone who took you in, fed you, and is giving you a place to sleep, I wouldn't want to get rid of you."

She shrugged. "Definitely worth it."

"Whatever." I shook my head. "We should probably go, my friends are more than likely wondering by now where I am."

She groaned. "Does this mean I have to come meet people and like, socialize?"

"Unfortunately." I sighed as I pushed myself up to my feet, before pulling herself up alongside me. "Even more unfortunately, it doesn't get easier with age. You're just expected to do it more."

She scrunched up her nose. "Ew. What's the good part about being an adult again?"

"I'll tell you when I figure it out."

With that, we started out of the camp office and toward the tent I shared with Alex. When we'd crossed the stretch of camp, I lifted the canvas tent flap to find Alex sitting talking with Nael as they cleaned out the barrels of their guns. The pair had grown somewhat close over the past few months, and as funny as the sentence may sound, I was glad to see my brothers getting to know each other.

"Hey, guys." A soft smile graced my lips as they both glanced up at me with grins.

"Hey Y/N. Nael was just telling me--"

"Y/N!?" My eyes widened at Alex's mistake as I heard a voice behind me, and cursed under my breath. "You told me your name was Levi."

I turned to see Maria standing behind me looking bewildered, and pursed my lips. "Fuck," I muttered, "I just-- go in the tent and I'll explain everything." She furrowed her brow, but did as I said anyway and I dropped the tent flap behind us as we walked in and sat with my brothers.

"Y/N, hold up, who's this?" It was then Alex who was giving me a bewildered look, and I groaned.

And then I (grudgingly) proceeded to explain to my brothers the events of the past hour, and to Maria my identity and the complications of it. But really, you've just read that story for the past several chapters, so I'll spare you the details. Unless, of course, you'd rather I paste six chapters worth of words here?

I didn't think so.

Anyway, by the time I had everyone in the text up to date, I was both surrounded by shocked faces and completely out of breath.

"So, you were just run away from home? And you ended up 'ere? 'ow the fuck did you get from New York to 'ere? You do not even 'ave a 'orse." I rolled my eyes at Nael ashe furrowed his brow at Maria.

"That's not the only way to get around, dumbass."

He scoffed. "That is a far way to be walking, connard!" I shoved him lightly, and he shoved me back, and that escalated quickly as we both began to retaliate with more force. It only ended when Alex jammed himself between us, and even then, I just shoved him into Nael. He shoved me back, and when I again went to shove him, he just caught my arm and gave me a pointed look. I rolled my eyes.

He scoffed. "Both of you connards need to stop; I mean it. We have a kid on our hands now; we need to figure this out."

In response, Nael shoved him into me, and I shoved him back, and he just grew angrier with each time. His yells of 'hey!' just grew increasingly louder and more desperate, until finally he threw his arms out to his sides.

"Hey! Stop it, alright? This is serious." His efforts to really calm us down were in vain, though, as we all just sat there giggling at how annoyed and disheveled he looked.

"Alexander, calm down, we are just 'aving fun." Alex glared at Nael, but he only grinned back, and eventually Alex just sighed.

"Whatever. But we still need to figure out what to do about her." He motioned to Maria, and as we all glanced over to her, she sat there with an extremely annoyed look.

"Levi and I figured it out a while ago."

I grinned, giving Alex a proud look. "Yeah, we figured it out a while ago. Keep up, Alex."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm not sure what I think of this kid anymore."

"Ees alright. She is not nice to you, so we like her." Nael smiled back at me, and we chuckled as Alex scoffed indignantly.

"I'm being triple-teamed for doing absolutely nothing. This isn't fair," he grumbled, folding his arms. I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever, Lexi. Hey, have we gotten any word from Laf about when he's going to get here?"

Smirks grew on both my brothers' faces, and I winced in anticipation for the teasing that I could tell was coming. "Aww, Y/N's just so impatient to see her man. Young love is always so cute."  Alex stuck out his bottom lip as he batted his eyelashes, and Nael raised his eyebrows.

"Oh? You are seeing 'im again? This 'as become very frequent, non? You were just writing to 'im last night."

I rolled my eyes dramatically at the two of them and their knowing smirks. Then, of course, Maria just had to join. "Ooh, so what, this mysterious Lafayette is your courter? Your secret lover?"

"Not you too!" I groaned, burying my face in my hands. "He's neither, these two are just the actual worst."

"Doesn't sound like that," she sang, and I threw whatever was next to me at her. She looked at me angrily after dodging what had turned out to be a shoe, and I just looked at her with an innocent smile. She rolled her eyes. "Asshole."

"'ey! You are like, eight, you cannot be swearing," Nael scolded her, and I shook my head.

"She's twelve, first of all, and second of all, you were swearing at age eight," I scoffed, and he curled his lip at me, mimicking my words. "Asshole."

"Anyway, in all seriousness," Alex began, grabbing both of our attention, "In his last letter, Laf said he'd be here today, so probably in a few hours."

My face lit up, though somewhat involuntarily. "So we can leave tonight?"

Nael smirked. "So you can see 'im tonight, more like."

"Oh, shut up, I'm just trying to get Maria home."

"I am sure you are."

"Okay, you know what? Fine. I'm excited to see my friend who I don't see that often. Is that what you want?" I huffed, raising an annoyed eyebrow, and everyone else rolled their eyes (including Maria).

"I mean, I guess we'll take it, but only because you admitted you were excited to see him," Maria said, folding her arms with a disbelieving look.

"You stay out of this," I shot back with a glare, and as she opened her mouth to respond, she was quickly cut off by someone opening the tent flap.

"Is it me we 'ave been missing?" We all looked up to see Lafayette's bright brin at the opening of the tent, and my expression quickly changed to match his.

"Hey, Laf," I said, and he walked into the tent, making the already crowded space much more so.

"Bonjour, mes amis." He took a seat next to me, but when he caught sight of Maria, he furrowed his brow. I groaned.

"Nael, you explain this time; I refuse."

And again, here we fast forward through the explanation because you know as well as I do that none of us feels like hearing this story again.

"So we are taking her when we leave for New York?" he asked me five minutes later, after he had received a full explanation. I nodded.

"Yeah. And speaking of which, we should probably leave before sundown."

He groaned. "But Levi, I am just want to sleep. Why must you be such a, uh, what is ze phrase? Wet sheet?"

I bit back a laugh, running a hand through my hair. "First off, it's wet blanket, and second, someone has to be the adult here. We're at war and traveling by night is safer."

He stuck out his bottom lip in a pout. "Mais je veux passer du temps avec vous tous," he whined, and I rolled my eyes.

"Somehow, I think you'll survive."

"Come on Levi, when was ze last time we all went drinking?"

I pursed my lips, considering the matter, but huffed and shook my head. "Look, as much as I would love to, we have a twelve year old girl with us. We really can't bring her into a bar with us."

"And why not?" That time it was Maria who spoke, raising her eyebrows with a grin, and I gave her a warning look.

"I hate to be the metaphorical mom here, but Herc is down in South Carolina, so you've all forced my hand. We aren't bringing a twelve year old girl into a pub. That's final."

"But Levi," Alex groaned, and I sighed.

"Alex, it's not happening. Just let it be." I ran a hand through my hair as everyone around me just sat there looking disappointed.

Eventually, Lafayette cleared his throat, breaking the momentary awkward silence. "Anyway, I am still disappointed zat we must, but shall we leave?"

I sighed. "Trust me when I say that I don't want to any more than you do."

"I am not trust you."

I looked at him with my brow furrowed, and he just shrugged.

"You're the worst, Lafayette."

"Perhaps. But you are love me anyway."

If only you knew how true that was.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧


	13. Chapter 13

Several hours later that same night, we were on the road with our horses in the dead of dusk, sharing what were likely the most random stories from our childhood in an effort to stay awake as we rode.

"Alright, alright, enough about my three-legged cat!" I made an effort to deadpan, but as he was still doubled over laughing it was extremely difficult. "Lafayette!"

He grinned at me as he finally sat back up straight, steering his horse closer to York. "Oh, come on. When you 'ave a three legged cat that still managed to get stuck in a tree, you cannot blame me for laughing at it."

I whacked his knee. "Leave Tottie alone! She's done nothing to merit your ridicule, asshole."

"If zis was my story, would you be laughing?" He gave me a pointed but teasing look, and I pursed my lips.

"I mean, I--" I cut myself off as he raised his eyebrows with skepticism, and huffed. "You're the worst."

"You can say it, but zat does not mean you believe it, mon amie." He shrugged, and I huffed.

"Whatever, Lafayette. Also, at least whisper; I'm pretty sure Maria's asleep back there." I jerked my head toward the girl who had long since slumped against my back, and he nodded. "Anyway, I feel like all we talk about is my strange past. What about you? Your time at the training grounds? Before that?"

He sighed, running a hand through his (unusually free) hair. "I... well, I would say I 'ave lost a lot since leaving ze training grounds. Ze last time I was zere was ze best few months of my life. We really did not do much training."

I chuckled. "Well what are training grounds for? I mean, certainly not for training."

"Exactly!" he laughed, "but non, it was with mes amis who were already in battle, who were given a month or so off."

"Well I'm not sure about you, but I don't think this gives me much of a window into the life of Lafayette." I shrugged, and he rolled his eyes.

"Do not be so impatient, I am getting zere."

"Well hurry it up! You're acting like we have all night," I whined, and he scoffed.

"I would flick you if I was close enough to do it." I rolled my eyes that time. "Anyway, eet was an amazing month. I..." --his voice faltered, if only sightly, and I inhaled sharply-- "I fell in love."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, doing my very best to bite back a grin. "In a month? At the training ground?"

He chuckled lightly, and I raised an eyebrow. "Oui, I know it sounds unlikely. But zere was a woman zere, 'er name was Y/N, and I do not know how to describe, at least not in this language."

"Have you forgotten I speak French?" He raised an eyebrow at me, and I nodded. "Shoot."

He pursed his lips. "Sort of like... retrouvailles, but with someone you 'ave never met before. Are you know?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but just shut it in frustration when I didn't know how to respond at first. "I mean... even though that's the worst description you could've given, I think I really do know what you mean. LIke you met them a month ago, but it just felt like reuniting with someone you've known all your life."

He nodded slowly, a small smile growing on his lips. "Oui. I 'ave really only felt that way with one other person."

"Oh?" I raised an eyebrow. "And who's that?"

He gave me a timid smile, brushing a hair out of his face as he sighed. "Y--"

A gunshot rang out.

Both our heads snapped forward, eyes widening at the sudden sound as my hand instinctively flew to the pistol I had at my hip. Maria grumbled several inaudible words, yawning as she sat up behind me.

"Wusgoinon?"

I swallowed roughly. "Stay calm."

"Why? Why do I need to stay calm? What's happening?" Her tone grew steadily more panicked, and I sighed.

"It's... a gunshot. Far from us. We don't know if it's anyone who would be looking to hurt us, but we just have to stay on guard as we ride through here," I explained, drawing in a shaky breath.

"You mean we're still going through!?"

I winced slightly; I could imagine her terrified expression well enough without having to see it. "It's not a huge risk we're taking, but it is a necessary one."

"King, are you sure?" Lafayette's voice wavered as I glanced over at him, and I gave him a concerned nod.

My eyes widened once again as from the gunshot stemmed hoofbeats, headed in our direction. I heard my own sharp inhale accompanied by that from the two people around me.

"Sounds like we don't have a choice," I muttered before spurring York into just a walk, trying to remain as natural as possible as we approached whoever was headed our way.

Several minutes passed, and while the hoofbeats remained consistent, we didn't cross paths with anyone, hostile or otherwise. At some point, I began to question what I'd heard, and if it had really been in front of me, but that's when I spotted them--two redcoats on horseback galloping toward us at full speed.

I bit down hard into my bottom lip. Would they dare attack when we had a child with us? I couldn't imagine. But with redcoats, we could never be sure.

It was a matter of minutes before we finally met, and they essentially skidded to a halt upon finding us. We went to continue through, but the wider man drew his pistol and cocked it, and I found myself staring into the barrel of a gun. I gulped.

"I-is there something you... you need, sir?" I asked, trying to give him a small smile.

"Don't even try it," he snarled, "you know very well this is a stickup."

The other one (with the extremely long nose) was quick to draw his gun as well. "You best empty those big bags you been carrying, or we just gonna have to shoot ya."

My eyes widened. The bags. The battle plans. We certainly couldn't afford to lose them to these men. Lafayette and I shared a panicked glance, and my hand crept to my pistol.

"I'm afraid there's nothing in there that you'd find all that exciting," I responded as calmly as I could manage. He huffed.

"I'd like to judge that for myself."

And I took a deep breath, and it one fluid motion, twisted his gun upwards while drawing mine with my other hand and aiming at his partner.

"No can do," I hissed, "now get out of here before I shoot you both."

He chuckled dryly. "You think you've got us? Oh boy, what kind of robbers would we be if we didn't carry knives, hmm?" With that, he drew a dagger from his bag, and I gulped. "Now, would you rather lose the contents of that bag or your right hand?"

I cocked the pistol in my left hand. "I'll shoot your partner," I shakily threatened. He smiled maliciously.

"And he'll shoot yours. Your point being?"

I sighed. "Alright. Alright, I'll comply." I lowered my left arm, holstering the gun I held, and with my right arm, yanked his from his hand. He opened his mouth to rebuke me, but I rolled my eyes before cutting him off. "You'll forgive me if I don't entirely trust you," I scowled before turning away and swinging my leg over the side of York's saddle to dismount.

As I turned to my left, I saw Lafayette's panicked expression; he stared at me as though I was going insane. And with the plan I had, maybe I was. But it was worth the attempt.

I shifted the pistol to my left hand as I went to open the satchel that hung around York's neck. I untied the pocket with shaking hands: a slow, tedious process which was not helped by the fact that a gun was in the way of my fingers. And just before I finally picked at the knot, I spun on my heels, clutching the pistol in both hands, and shot at the man near Lafayette.

It was at that moment that all hell broke loose.

I yanked our bag shut, darting away from the spot where I'd been standing just as I heard something hit the ground behind me. I turned to see what it was but not before a burning pain shot through my back, sending me to my knees in agony. I faintly saw Lafayette draw his sword, all but ready to dive towards the man with murder in his eyes. I also mildly processed that bullet I'd fired had hit the man's partner, and he was then incapacitated.

But what I noticed most of all, in the front of my vision as I dropped to the ground, was the redcoat's dagger, now stained red with my blood dripping to the dry earth below it. I could hear commotion above me, on the horses, but paid it no mind until I heard a pair of boots hit the ground, and like that I was up. I felt like all hell, blood gushed from the wound in my back, and my vision was less than up to par, but I stood, ready to fight the redcoat in spite of it all.

As I faced him, though, my eyes widened at the sight of him cocking a pistol, aimed directly at me. I reached for my gun to counter his, I swallowed roughly upon finding my holster empty. I held up the gun I'd taken from him, cocking it and immediately attempting to shoot.

Nothing.

I pulled the trigger several more times, my heart pounding through my chest at the impossible situation.

I cursed the one time I'd left my sword un-holstered and opted for a pistol, as it seemed to have brought me to my end, and as though he could read my thoughts, the malicious smile of the redcoat's lips grew.

"Looks to me like you've met your end," he taunted, "when it really didn't even have to be like this. You could've quietly given us the bag, but no. You had to go and get yourself killed." He let out a dry chuckle as his looming figure approached me. "Then again, I don't really have to kill you. But it's just so much more fun this way, no?" He only came closer as I stifled tears, not letting my final moments be those of weakness. It was as the muzzle of the gun was pressed to the bridge of my nose that I nearly broke.

In the end, though, I didn't have to.

The uneven metal of the gun scraped my nose as it was jerked away from me, and the man staggered sideways, shaken by the blow to the side of his head. I nearly cried in relief, as the man cursed and turned to Lafayette, aiming an unsteady punch to wherever he could reach. The punch wasn't so much of a punch, as it turned out. The gun additionally made jagged contact with Lafayette's cheek as the man stumbled forwards, simply from the weight of his own blow. It was at that moment that I jammed my heel into the back of his leg, making his knees buckle as he fell backwards at my feet.

Of course, he scrambled to stand, but Lafayette was quick to draw his sword, holding it menacingly at the man's throat, and the unspoken threat was enough to make him back down. I bent down to yank the gun from his hand for the second time, sure to secure it in my holster so it couldn't again fall into his grasp. It was then that Lafayette spoke.

"You will continue on. You will not bother us any further, and if you do, we will not show you ze amount of mercy I am about to by sparing your life." He raised his arm slightly, the flat of the blade under his chin pushing it up, digging into the skin just far enough to break it. He gasped as blood rolled down his neck, and Lafayette swallowed hard. "Now go, tend to your wounded friend, and leave us, but do not forget us. I will spare you zis once, but never again."

He nodded frantically, or at least as much as he could without pushing his chin back into the cold metal that lie against it. Lafayette wiped the blade on the man's shirt before resheathing it, and turning back to his horse as the man scampered back to his horse and his friend. He mounted without another word, and Lafayette was quick to return to my side.

"Are you alright, mon amie?" His brow was knit in concern as his hand rested on my shoulder, and I tried to smile, though it was much more of a grimace.

"I mean, other than the huge cut in my back, yeah." I chuckled weakly, and his eyes widened.

"Levi!" I swallowed roughly as he ran a hand through his hair, as additionally the redcoats rode off. "We-- you-- this cannot--" he huffed, "We are must do something!"

"Laf, I'm fine." He gave me a warning look as I tried to shrug it off, and I sighed, "Look, there's a town just up ahead, we can go there, and I can get patched up. Deal?"

He pursed his lips. "'Ow do you know there is a town up ahead?"

I furrowed my brow, staring at him as I tried to figure out if he was serious. "You... you can literally see it from here." His eyebrows shot up as he turned around.

"Oh."

"Yeah." I sighed as I turned to once again mount my horse, but found a very distinct lack of a twelve-year-old in a red dress. My eyes widened. "Laf! Where's Maria?"

"Ah!" He turned to the thin forest around us, whipping his head back and forth in slight confusion. "Maria! It is safe!"

That was when you saw her hobble out from behind a thick oak, hand pressed to her face as she looked at me in utter distress. I sighed. "I... am sorry you had to witness that," I breathed, running a hand through my hair, and she smiled weakly.

"No, no, I'm fine, just possibly sick."

I matched her expression, trying not to look desperate. "Alright. Can you, y'know, get on the horse? We kinda need to get to town as soon as possible."

Her eyes widened at the sight of the blood on my hands. "Oh! Yeah, yeah let's go." I helped her onto the horse after she rushed over to me, climbing on after her. To my left I saw Lafayette watching me with an easy smile.

"Ready?"

I nodded, and sighed as I spurred York's side and he started forward at a trot. "Hey, Laf?"

He looked over at me with his eyebrows raised. "Hm?"

"I just want to thank you for making sure Maria was out of that. It could've been a much worse situation if you hadn't."

He smiled. "It is of course. But you know, she did do much of it for 'erself, I just 'ad to get 'er off the 'orse."

"Either way. Thank you."

"Tojours, mon amie."

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

The town up ahead turned out to be uptown New York City, and Lafayette, Maria, and I checked in at an inn for a few hours to get some genuine rest and get patched up. Lafayette, being the overplanner he was, had a medkit in the bag he brought with him, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes as he pulled it out with a grin.

Maria was out instantly. I supposed enough trauma in one night could cause that kind of fatigue, but even more than an hour later, I was still shaking with adrenaline.

"Zis is going to sting, mon amie," Lafayette murmured as he rested a hand on my shoulder. The cut had turned out to be fairly deep, a gash in my lower back. The only lucky part was that it was my lower back, so he didn't have to see my chest wrap to fix it. I screwed up my face into a grimace at the words, but nodded, giving him permission to go ahead. Still, as the alcohol met the cut flesh on my back, I gasped through gritted teeth at the intense burning, arching my back slightly as I balled my fists.

"'Ey, you are okay. You are alright, Levi, it will being over soon." As he continued dabbing at the wound, I knew it was more than certainly a lie, as after he cleaned it he still had to sew the gash shut. Then again, I was sure it couldn't be as bad as what I was going through, the alcohol searing through my nerves hotter and sharper than if I'd been stabbed one thousand times. I bit down hard and squeezed my eyes shut, unable to stop the tears that rolled down my cheeks.

It was at the point when I was doing everything I could not to cry out, when I was muttering incoherent curses and quite nearly sobbing, when spots began to dance in my vision, that he was finally done cleaning it. 

He whispered the confirmation to me, and I let out the breath I'd been holding, and released the tension from every muscle in my body. I couldn't even wince as the needle from the quite likely botched stitches began running through my flesh, as my back had become a mass of dull, throbbing pain, and at that point, all I could do was wait.

"Laf?" I breathed. His hands stalled, and I could heard his breath hitch.

"Oui, Levi?"

I sighed slightly. "Again, I want to thank you."

He chuckled lightly, continuing on my back. "Oh, what for zis time?"

I rolled my eyes at his teasing tone, biting my lip. "Well, for quite literally saving my life back there. And of course, for being willing to come here and sew up my back instead of getting the sleep I know you so desperately need."

"It is nothing. You would 'ave done ze same for me." I glanced back to see his reassuring smile, and I sighed.

"I would've. But that's not the point. I didn't have to; you did. And you did it. So, again, I want to thank you." He nodded, and I turned my head back around.

"You are welcome, Levi. As long as I can count on you to do ze same when it 'appens to me, hm?"

I chuckled lightly. "Of course. What kind of person would I be if I wouldn't?"

"A worse one zan me." I could almost hear the smirk in his voice as he continued. "Then again, who is not a worse person zan me, hm?"

I had to roll my eyes at that. "You know, if you weren't sewing up my back right now, I would turn around and whack you." I glanced behind me, glaring playfully, and he shrugged.

"I would probably deserve it." He glanced up to meet my eyes, and his nonchalant expression quickly transformed into a grin, and though I shook my head, mine did as well. "Anyway, I am just about done with your back."

I winced slightly as I felt him yank the thread, and for a moment it dug into my wounded back, before it loosened again, and I heard him walk back to the medkit on the desk.

"Is it done, Laf?" I asked, and he nodded.

"I am just 'ave to bandage it. So sit up."

I turned back around, and his arms immediately came around me, wrapping the gaze around my stomach to cover my lower back. I winced slightly at the pressure, but eventually the dull throb from the wound decreased, and he finished bandaging it.

"Alright," he said as he tucked the end of the gauze into the rest of the wrap, "it is done, but you should probably not move all zat much. I am not a professional; we can find one at training camp when weare arrive to speak to ze general, non?"

"Yeah." I pulled my shirt back down, and turned on the bed to face Lafayette, only to realize that his nose was still cut.

Not to mention only inches from my face.

My eyes widened slightly, and my hand ghosted across his cheek. "Laf, you're bleeding."

He gave me a weak smile, shrugging it off. "It is nothing. Especially compared to what you 'ave just gone through."

"Still, it's a cut," I argued, "At least let me disinfect it."

He huffed but didn't protest as I grabbed the rubbing alcohol and a cotton ball, wetting it slightly before pressing it to his face, dabbing away the blood. He winced slightly, but took it well altogether as I leaned in to wipe the blood from the corner of his eye, and felt his hand cupping my jaw. My eyes widened slightly as I saw how he was looking at me, and I lowered my hand with the cotton ball. His other hand went to my waist, and mine crept onto the nape of his neck.

"Laf," I protested halfheartedly, and he bit his lip, his face drawing closer to mine.

"We shouldn't," I breathed.

"You are right." He didn't seem to care, though, as his breath fanned onto my lower lip, his eyes fluttering closed as the space between us became nearly nonexistent.

A knock at the door.

We jumped apart, eyes wide as we sat on opposite sides of the bed and shared a panicked look. Maria yawned quietly, stretching as she pulled herself up. "G'morning."

"Morning, Maria," I muttered, trying to ignore the layers of regret running through my head as the knock sounded again. With a sigh, Lafayette stood up to open it.

"Who is zere?" he demanded, and a moment passed before we heard a voice from the other side.

"Alright, yeah, this one's full." Whoever was on the other side wasn't addressing us, but clearly someone with them as two pairs of footsteps started down the hall away from us. We both let out sighs. 

"You can go back to sleep, Maria; I think I'm going to," I muttered, before turning to Lafayette with a flat expression. "It's probably best if you do too. We still have about an hour to ride before we reach camp, and additionally have to find Maria's house before we even head down. You'll need the rest."

His countenance was incredibly downcast as he nodded, and while I could see he was trying, he did an incredibly poor job hiding it. He didn't respond to me but only climbed into the third bed in the room, and I sighed before lowering myself onto my stomach.

We had messed up.

We had messed everything up.

\---


	14. Chapter 14

_October 19, 1779_

_General Washington,_

_Plans from our last meeting have yet to fail me. There is no further east we can drive the British, yet they continuously find a new route of retreat. I've gained victories, but not a single surrender. As I write, they're retreating north. Be ready for an attack on two frontiers._

_Levi King_

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

  
For the first time in forever, camp was quiet.

Camp was peacefully quiet, for almost the first time since we began as a batallion.

Camp was unusually quiet.

Camp was almost suspiciously quiet.

All in all, camp was quiet, but a bit _too_ quiet.

So the chaos that began the afternoon of October 19th should have come as far from a surprise.

It was a chilly day, too cold for just a light jacket, but not quite cold enough for our soldiers to be genuinely uncomfortable.

We'd just won a battle against a division of the British army, driving them further north, and camp was being cleaned up. Fragments of destroyed buildings and tents lie everywhere, just waiting for a soldier to come by and pick it up, hauling it to the edge of camp to build up parapets in preparation for the future. Everyone had enough time to rest, no one was unhappy.

Until the horse came charging through.

I hadn't even noticed; I was writing to John down south when it happened, and as twenty minutes never passed without someone on horseback, I of course thought nothing of it. Until the aides flooded my tent.

"Sir!" My head snapped up as I flinched violently, smearing ink all down the remainder of my parchment. I cursed and shoved the parchment aside, turning around with an annoyed but expectant look to see at least five young men crowded at the opening of the tent, and my eyes widened.

"I-- What's happened?" I sputtered, and the first aide swallowed hard.

"You're going to need to see this. It isn't just something that can be told." I furrowed my brow, cocking my head slightly to the side before slowly standing, and the man lead me out of the tent to the center of camp. At first all I saw was the horse, until I realized.

The rush of surprise, of disgust, genuinely felt like a physical blow, and I nearly keeled over at the sight in front of me as I gasped, clapping a hand to my mouth.

"No," I murmured, "No, no, _no."_ I turned to the aide. "He... he's not dead, is he? He can't I felt the intense urge to rush over and shake the answer out of him.

Finally, he shook his head.

I sighed in relief. "Oh, god, praise the lord. I-- What do we do now?"

His eyes widened. "You're asking me?"

I slightly cringed. I probably shouldn't be. "No, no, I mean... no. Has anyone called a medic?"

He nodded. "Mr. Hamilton should be fetching him now."

My jaw dropped in slight surprise. "Wait, you mean he knew before me? Why did you not immediately come to me?!" As he simpered guiltily, I sighed, dropping my face into my hands. "Alright, whatever, just-- just get help. _Now._ " He hastily nodded before rushing off, and I sighed as I turned back to the horse.

Blood dripped down its side, and we had to have soldiers holding it in place just so as to keep in from freaking out and bucking off its occupant. It was whinnying wildly, tugging on its reins as my focus shifted up to the man who sat atop it.

Still, I couldn't look at him without wincing. Lafayette lay slumped against the horse's next, his body limp and unconscious as blood dried on his arm, though it had been seeping from the deep gash in his arm. His head had been wounded as well, likely hit against something as blood dripped from his hairline, smeared into his hair.

I swallowed hard, turning away. The sight of it was too much, the possibility of losing him loomed over camp, and even more so, over me. I couldn't comprehend how very real it was, that he was quite literally inches from death as the blood flow didn't stop.

That was when Alex came.

I was ready to cry with relief when I saw him walking with a medic, talking animatedly as he likely filled him in on the situation at hand. And it was a big one, at that.

I could only watch helplessly as they hauled Lafayette's body from the horse, his head lolling to the side as they hoisted him onto their shoulders and began carrying him to the medical tent. We hadn't been in one place for long enough to them to have set up a building for it, so there they were, laying him on the cold ground, just where his arm could get infected at any moment.

The sight made me sick to my stomach, the blood still pouring from the wound as the medic shooed everyone away from his tent, and I could only stand there, frozen to my spot, unable to act, to move, to even _cry_. I was stunned.

"Levi?" Nael's hand clapped me on the shoulder, and I turned my head to see him looking at me with concern in his eyes. "Are you alright?"

I swallowed hard, before opening my mouth to speak and closing it again. I didn't trust my voice. So instead, casting my gaze downward, I nodded.

"Hey, I am need you to talk to me." He jabbed the side of my head, wearing a teasing grin, and I just deadpanned as I looked at him. He raised his eyebrows expectantly, and I shook my head.

"I'm fine, Nael." My tone was hard as I shrugged his hand from my shoulder, before stalking off to go literally anywhere that wasn't there. As I walked, I wanted less than anything to glance back at him, but curiosity got the better of me, and as I looked over my shoulder, all I could see was the hurt in my brother's eyes as mine locked with his.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

 

**Alex's POV (haven't been here in a while)**

 

I'd just left the medical tent, helping the medics with Lafayette however they were willing to let me. The only thing that surprised me was that Y/N wasn't there. I'd expected her to want to do everything she could to help, as she was closer to Lafayette than anyone.

 

But she was nowhere to be found.

 

I crossed the middle of camp, scanning for a familiar face, or really anyone with news. I didn't care what kind of news at that point. Anything would take my mind off Lafayette.

 

It wasn't until several minutes of wandering through camp later that I heard her.

 

It wasn't quiet, but it was hardly audible over the loud buzz of activity everywhere you looked, especially with the crisis of the day.

 

But still, her sobs could be heard.

 

My brows furrowed as I stopped in front of her tent, waiting to make sure I hadn't imagined it. And sure enough, there it was again.

 

I crept towards the tent before quietly opening the tent flap, biting my lip as I looked in to see her. Y/N was sobbing, a ball of anguish shaken by the violent sobs that tore through her body as she lay on the thin canvas hardly covering the hard ground.

 

"Y/N?" I asked softly, and it wasn't long before she stilled, almost as though when she stopped crying she believed I would just go. As though she wanted to be invisible. "Hey, Y/N."

 

I climbed into the tent, and she glanced back over her shoulder to see me, and that was when I got a good look at her face.

 

Her face was bright red, soaked with tears, screwed up in the most miserable expression I've seen. Her hair was a tangled mess, despite how short it was. It stuck out in all directions, and she didn't seem to care onr bit.

 

"Leave." Her voice was shaking, not unlike the rest of her body, but the command was firm.

 

"I don't think you should be alone." I scooted closer to her, resting an arm on her shoulder as I could see the tears continuing to pour down her face.

 

"I'm fine." That time, it sounded more like a complaint. And anyone, _anyone_  
c

  
ould see that Y/N was, at that moment the furthest thing from fine.

"Hey, no you're not, I understand that--"

"No you don't," she snapped, her lip curled at my words as she shot me the most hateful glare she could muster. I furrowed my brow, biting my lip.

"Y/N, I know that you were close to him, but this hurts me too. You're not alone."

"It's not the same," she grumbled, turning away from me, and I raised an eyebrow.

"Actually, it kind of--"

" _It isn't!"_ She shot up, jabbing a finger into my chest with a fire in her eyes I'd never seen before. My eyes instantly went wide. "It's not the same, it's not even close! You don't understand what I'm feeling, you never will. You never even _could, Alex!"_ she roared.

"Hold on, now--"

"You will _never_ understand, because yes, he was your friend, but you didn't know him like I did. You didn't _love_ him like I did," she spat, and if looks could kill, I'd have been six feet under. "I loved him, Alex!" Her voice began to break at the end of her sentence, as did her facade. "I loved him." It was softer that time, her gaze cast again downward as the sadness glazed over her eyes, quenching the fire of her anger, and it was only moments before she was again sobbing. She collapsed forward into me, shaking slightly, her only words a choked out mantra of "I loved him."

So I just held her. It was all I could do. I held her and whispered affirmations to her and rubbed circles into her back. And I just stayed with her.

Of course, we'd known she loved Lafayette. We teased her about it, but at the end of the day, the purpose of the teasing was just a bit of fun. There was nothing behind it.

But that was the moment I learned how deep it truly ran.

✧ ✧ ✧ 


End file.
